Lord Hennington’s face fell.
“I’m sorry,” Lavinia said. “I wish I could tell you something different. And I’ve tried. I’ve tried to force myself to feel the sort of love you describe. But I don’t feel it. I don’t think I ever will. The thing you need to know, Lord Hennington, is that if you marry me, it will only ever be a marriage of convenience. It will not be a marriage of love. You deserve to know that before you marry me.”
Lord Hennington let out a heavy sigh.
“My daughter doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Lord Feverton said quickly. “She’s young, Lord Hennington. She’s very young, and she’s never experienced the kind of feelings she’s claiming not to feel. She doesn’t knowwhatshe feels.”
“No,” Lord Hennington said. “If there’s one thing I’ve come to believe about Lady Lavinia, it’s that she does know how she feels about things. That’s part of the reason I admire her so greatly. It’s part of the reason I wanted to marry her.” He turned his attention to Lavinia, his expression gentle. “Are you certain of your feelings, Lady Lavinia?”
“I am,” Lavinia whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize,” he said. “I won’t deny that it breaks my heart, but it’s courageous—and generous—of you to admit the truth. You were right to think that I would want to know it. I do want a marriage based on love. I dreamed that I would find that with you, but if you truly cannot return my feelings for you then it’s best that we go our separate ways.”
“I meant what I said,” Lavinia told him. “I would marry you if you wanted me to. I just didn’t want to do it dishonestly.”
“Thank you.” Lord Hennington took her hand. “That’s unbelievably kind. So many people would have tried to manipulate the situation to get what they wanted without concern for the well-being of the other person. So many ladies would have accepted my proposal without worrying about my happiness at all. It makes me want to marry you more, to tell the truth—but I know it’s not the right thing for either one of us.”
“Wait, Lord Hennington,” Lavinia’s father said. “I implore you—don’t walk away from this. Let me have a word with my daughter. Why not do as my son suggested and come back tomorrow, after we have a chance to discuss matters as a family? I should have paid more attention to that idea. It was a good one.”
He sounded desperate. Lavinia would have felt sorry for him if she hadn’t been so concerned about how he would make her pay for all this once Lord Hennington was out of the house.
Lord Hennington shook his head. “This was not a good idea,” he said. “I rushed too much. I was too eager. I should have spent more time with Lady Lavinia first—I should have tried harder to make sure of her feelings. I’m sorry that I didn’t do that, Lady Lavinia.”
“I enjoyed the time we spent together,” Lavinia said. “That was real.”
Lord Hennington smiled. “So did I.”
“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” she told him. “I’m sorry that it wasn’t me.”
“We can’t always control these things,” he said. “But I hope you find happiness as well, Lady Lavinia, truly. You deserve it. And when you find the gentleman who is meant for you, I know he’ll be one of the luckiest men in the world.”
He rose to his feet, bowed, and left the room.
“You have a lot to answer for,” Lavinia’s father growled. “But right now, I don’t think I can even bear to look at you, Lavinia. Get out of my sight.”
Lavinia was only too happy to comply.
She would be scolded for what she had done later, and she knew it. She could feel her father’s fury filling the house, following her up the stairs to her room. But she had no regrets. She knew that she had done the right thing by being honest.
She wouldn’t have to spend the rest of her life lying to Lord Hennington now, and she wouldn’t have to deny the truth in her mind—that her heart belonged to the duke, even though she knew he could never belong to her.
CHAPTER 36
Lavinia spent the next hour in her room waiting for her father to decide that he wanted to talk to her.
A part of her knew that the wait should have made her feel nervous. When her father came, there was sure to be a dramatic argument.
But Lavinia felt detached from what was going on around her. What did it matter if her father was angry with her? What difference did it make if they argued, really? It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change the fact that she knew she had done the right thing by being honest with Lord Hennington, and it wouldn’t change the fact that she grieved for what she had lost with the duke.
When the knock came at her door, she didn’t even feel the pinch of nervousness she might have expected. “Come in,” she called.
The door opened and he entered like a thundercloud. Lavinia looked up at him. There was a time when that demeanor would have upset or intimidated her.
“I certainly hope you’re happy with yourself,” her father stormed.
“I did what I had to do,” Lavinia murmured.
“What youhad to do? Lavinia, you had a suitor and you drove him away. He was going to ask to marry you.”
