“Well,” her father said, “I did have a plan to marry you to a friend of mine, Lavinia, but it seems that in spite of my doubts, you have managed to make your own arrangements within the time I gave you after all.”
“Then you’ll accept the viscount for her?” Matthew asked.
“I see no reason why not,” her father said. “He’s a perfectly respectable gentleman. He seems to genuinely like her, and I take it she likes him as well. That was what was promised—isn’t that right, Lavinia? I told you that you would have a chance to find someone of your own choosing, and I’ve done that, wouldn’t you say so?”
“I don’t know,” Lavinia said.
“You don’tknow?”
“I hardly know him, Father,” she said softly. “It was never my intention to marry Lord Hennington. We spent some time together, but I didn’t know he was going to ask for a marriage, and certainly not this soon.”
“Lavinia, for heaven’s sake—” Matthew sighed in exasperation. “He’s a good man! He’s handsome, he obviously cares for you, and we’ve all seen you spend time in his company. This is a perfect match. This is exactly what you ought to be looking for, and you should be grateful that it’s fallen into your lap! You know how much I worry about you.”
“I know,” Lavinia said. She understood perfectly well. Her father would be nothing but relieved that someone had arrived to take her off his hands, but with Matthew, it was different. He had always made it clear that he genuinely cared for her happiness. He must have been so glad to see someone he could trust asking to marry her. And here she was, making things difficult—just as she always did.
A part of her felt as if she should simply accept the proposal, be grateful for what she was being given, and move on with her life. After all, she hadn’t expected this much. She had thought she would end up in a marriage to someone her father selected for her, someone in whom she had no interest at all.
She didn’t love Lord Hennington, but she didn’t despise him either. To spend the rest of her days with him would be unexciting, but not uncomfortable. It was something she could tolerate.
That was better than she’d assumed she would get.
But she had spent too much time in the company of the duke. She had begun to hope for somethingmore. When she thought of marriage now—when she thought of love—she thought of the excitement that the duke had conjured up in her when he had kissed her.
There had to be a way to find those feelings for other men.
And it seemed to Lavinia that the duke must be the only person who could tell her how to do it.
If she was going to find that thrill with Lord Hennington, she would need one last lesson with him. She needed him to tell her how it was done.
CHAPTER 29
Seth walked out into the darkest part of the garden and paced back and forth. It was hard to feel as if he had any justification at all for being out here, but he couldn’t make himself go back inside. Not now that he knew what he would see if he did.
Of course, I’ve known all along. That made him feel as frustrated as anything else. He couldn’t really bring himself to be angry about any of it, because he knew the anger was entirely unjustified. How could he feel angry that Lady Lavinia was dancing with other gentlemen? They had planned for her to do that. They had planned ittogether.
Seth had given her every indication that this was what he wanted. Even when he had broken his resolve and allowed himself to kiss her, he had quickly thrust her away and told her that it wasn’t what the two of them ought to be doing.
That didn’t change the way it made him feel to see her in someone else’s arms. Though he knew it didn’t make sense, it felt as if someone was stealing from him. It felt like someone was taking what was rightfully his with no regard for him or respect for him at all.
He knew that was a terrible way to think. Lady Lavinia did not belong to him, or to anyone else. She was her own person. That was something she had made very clear in the time they had known one another, and it would be deeply disrespectful of Seth to try to claim her like that.
Besides, even if she was eager to belong to a gentleman, she could never be his. He was determined not to marry, and a marriage was precisely what she wanted. How could she ever be his under those conditions?
He turned at the sound of footsteps, knowing that he needed to retreat even more deeply into the garden. He didn’t want to see anyone right now. He wanted to be on his own, to sort through these thoughts. If Allan were to find him, his friend would try to persuade him that he ought to go to Lady Lavinia, and if his mother came upon him, it would be even worse. Seth didn’t know if he had the strength to have those conversations again right now.
For a moment, he considered hiding in a bush the way he had done with Lady Lavinia. The thought made him smile, but it also made his heart break a little. To think of all the things that had happened to him—to both of them since that moment—and nowthey were all over. It was enough to make him feel something close to grief.
The footsteps were almost upon him. There was no escaping, then. He turned to see who it was?—
His heart constricted in his chest so violently that for a moment he genuinely wondered whether he was ill.
It was Lady Lavinia.
“You shouldn’t be out here,” he managed. “Go back to the ballroom.”
“You’re out here,” she pointed out.
“That’s different.”
