“A little,” she said. Her voice was something close to a gasp, as if she had been running.
He couldn’t feel her heart beating. They weren’t quite close enough for that. And yet, he imagined he could. He imagined what it would feel like to experience the pulse of her body against his. It was such an intimate idea that he felt guilty for thinking about it, and he pushed her back from him slightly and allowed his arms to fall to his sides.
She looked up at him. “Is everything all right?”
“You don’t need any more dance lessons,” he said quickly. He needed to get her out of the room. He needed to bring an end to all of this before things got out of control. “You should go back to your room.”
“Wait—you’re not going to teach me anymore?” She looked up at him, an expression of hurt on her face.
He turned away. He couldn’t stand to see her looking like that. “You don’t need me to teach you anymore,” he said. “You were right. You taught yourself well. You and your sister must have learned all you needed to about how to dance, and you don’t need my help to improve yourself.”
“But I do need your help,” she insisted. “I know I can be better than I am. Even though I have the steps mastered, I’m still nervous when I dance. You said it yourself—I need to relax. I need to learn how to stay calm if I’m going to be confident and impress gentlemen.”
“That will come with practice,” he told her. “Time and practice. You don’t need to spend time with me.”
“Thisispractice,” she countered. “How am I to prepare for the ball, if not like this? Look at me. You can’t mean to say that you honestly think I’m ready.”
“I do think so,” he told her. “You’re ready. You’re going to be able to handle it. And, Lady Lavinia, at some point youhaveto handle it on your own. I can’t continue to guide you forever. You know that you did well with Lord Hennington. You don’t need my help. Not anymore.”
He started to walk away from her.
“You’re wrong,” she said sharply.
He turned back, knowing that he shouldn’t.
“I do need you,” she insisted. “I do need your help, Your Grace. I need as much of your help as I can get, because I have never been able to manage these things on my own. If you turn me away now, I don’t think I’ll ever find love.
“I have only a few days left. You have to help me. You can’t end things now. I know the steps of the dance, but I don’t know how to make them seem natural. Please.”
Seth wiped a hand across his face.
He wanted to tell her no. He wanted to tell her that she simply had to learn how to fend for herself.
He also wanted to tell her that he would be by her side as long as she needed him.
CHAPTER 24
Lavinia didn’t know why she hadn’t been able to bring herself to leave when the duke had told her to. It was clear that he no longer wanted her here. A big part of her wanted to run from the library, back to the safety of her bed.
He was right about one thing—she did think she could manage on her own. She would be able to face the challenge of dancing with gentlemen at the upcoming ball. She would likely be nervous, but she knew she wouldn’t humiliate herself.
She also knew that there was no gentleman at this party who would make her as nervous as the duke did. That was the training she truly received from being in his company. It had nothing to do with dance steps. She was learning how to conduct herself around someone who made her feel acutely aware of every move she made.
She wished she knew why he made her feel like that. It hadn’t been that way with Lord Hennington. She had been calm andhappy during their outing together. And that had been very nice—it should have been an improvement—but much to her surprise, she had found herself a bit bored.
Being with the duke was preferable. Even though she couldn’t seem to relax her body, even though she worried that every word out of her mouth might be the wrong one, even though she feared constantly that he thought she was a fool—being with him made her feel alive in a way nobody else did.
She knew now that if the choice had been left to her, she would have spent all her time with him at this party. She would have stopped paying attention to anybody else altogether. If only her father’s threat hadn’t been hanging over her head, she would simply have enjoyed her time with the duke to the fullest.
But she had to find someone to marry. That was the one thing she couldn’t allow herself to forget. Time spent with the duke could only be justified as long as she could convince herself that she was learning skills that would make someone fall in love with her.
He took a deep breath. “All right,” he said, holding out his arms to her. “We’ll try it again. This time, see if you can bring yourself to relax. See if you can remember that you don’t want to let your anxiety get the better of you.”
She nodded. “I don’t,” she said. “I know I don’t.”
“You were at ease with Lord Hennington.”
“How do you know that?”
