“Why don’t you say what you mean to say?” Seth asked. “Or rather, ask me what you want to ask. You want to know if there’sanything romantic between the two of us. And the answer is no, there isn’t. I’m trying to help her, that’s all.
Her father has given her an ultimatum—she’s to find someone to marry by the time your party comes to an end, or he’ll choose for her. As awkward as she is, I can see that she’ll have trouble finding anyone for herself, so I’m trying to lend a hand. It’s as simple as that.”
“It can’t bethatsimple, if you’re spending money on the project,” Allan argued. “You bought gowns for her today, isn’t that what you’re telling me?”
“And what if I did? You know I can afford it. It’s a drop in the bucket for me.”
“The fact that you’re not bringing financial hardship upon yourself doesn’t mean that the actions you’re taking are without significance. Are you sure you don’t have feelings for her?”
The question made Seth feel as if he had been struck with a hammer. It was as if Allan was looking right in to the heart of him. But why should he feel that way? Allan hadn’t discovered anything that wastrue.He wasn’t feeling affectionate toward Lady Lavinia. Or if he was, it was because she was so helpless.
He wanted to care for her. He wasn’tadmiringher. He had never felt like that for any lady, and he wasn’t about to start now. “Feelings of gratitude, nothing more. She separated me from Lady Genevieve the other night. That’s how she and I met.”
“I see,” Allan said. “And you’re quite certain that’s all it is?”
“Of course I’m certain.”
“Well, I’ll say this only one time, then.”
“You’re going to warn me away from her? You’re going to tell me that I’m going to give her the wrong idea? Or, perhaps, that I’m going to give other people the wrong idea?”
“Not at all. I was going to say that if you really wanted to help the lady find a suitable marriage, you might consider the idea of marrying her yourself.”
Seth stared at his friend. “That’s quite a leap,” he said. “I took her shopping and now you think I should marry her?”
“I don’t say you should marry her. I only said that you might consider the idea of it,” Allan said. “You do seem to like her.”
“I do like her,” Seth agreed. “But that doesn’t mean I ought tomarryher, for heaven’s sake. For one thing, I like a lot of people. I likeyou. And for another thing, you know perfectly well what my feelings are when it comes to marriage—I want nothing to do with it.
You know how unhappy my parents were all their lives. Why would I ever choose such a thing, having seen that? Why would I allow myself to get involved in any sort of romantic entanglement, knowing how bad the outcome can be?”
“You think every marriage is like the one your parents had,” Allan said. “That isn’t true. There are plenty of happy marriages. Marriages based upon love. You could have a marriage like that, if only you opened yourself up to the idea of it. And you could have it with her. From what you say, it sounds like that’s the sort of thing she’s looking for. Why not think about the idea, at least? What would be the harm in it?”
“Have you been speaking with my mother? Are the two of you conspiring together? Why are you suddenly so eager to see me on a path to marriage?” Seth demanded. “Why is it that you see me spend one afternoon with a young lady and come to the conclusion that I ought to marry her? What an idea! Of course I’m not going to marry her. I can’t believe you would even make the suggestion—and based on such scant evidence of our getting along!”
“All right, all right,” Allan said, raising his hands defensively. “I didn’t mean her, necessarily. I worry for you, Seth. I do want to see you find happiness. I admit that. And no, I didn’t get the idea by speaking to your mother. I’ve wanted to see you find happiness for a long time.”
“I don’t know,” Seth objected. “You never spoke of my getting married before. I think this is something you’ve come to desire in recent years.”
“Well, I don’t deny that getting a little older has awakened me to the potential joys of married life,” Allan said. “And I won’t deny that I want those things for my closest friend.”
“You’ll just have to accept that I’ve given this plenty of thought,” Seth said. “I don’t wish to marry, Allan. I don’t wish to put myself in the same unhappy situation my parents lived in.”
“And what of the fact that I tell you I believe marriage doesn’t have to be unhappy?”
“It’s just too big a gamble,” Seth said. “If I could beassuredof having a happy marriage—I don’t know. Perhaps I would be saying something different. But the fact of the matter is that no one can ever know. You canneverbe sure of the marriage you’ll get. It’s just too big a risk to take.”
CHAPTER 10
The following day, the new gowns were delivered, along with a message—wear the blue one today.
Lavinia could tell immediately that the message had come from the duke. She unboxed the blue gown and put it on, wondering what her father would say when he saw her dressed in something so new and fashionable. After all, he had no idea of her interactions with the duke, particularly what had happened yesterday. He hadn’t even come to town with them, and nor had Edwina. This would come as a surprise to everyone.
But she needn’t have worried about it. Her father didn’t even look up as she came in and took her seat at the breakfast table. “You’re late,” was all he said. “I thought we had discussed the fact that you needed to come down to meals on time. And you only have nine days left.”
“I know, Father.” Lavinia eased into her seat and took a cup of coffee. She had no appetite for anything more than that. She hadspent several long minutes gazing at herself in the looking glass before coming down—that was the reason for her tardiness—and she felt as if everyone must surely be staring at her in this new gown.
Even though Lavinia had always found it difficult to believe in her own beauty, she couldn’t deny that she was a vision in this gown. It was impossible, now, not to realize that the clothing she had been wearing in the past had done her far more harm than good, and that she had never before shown herself off to her best advantage.
