“What?” Allan hadn’t known this. He was filled with a sudden rage at the thought, as if he were a guitar and someone was tightening his strings much too far, pulling them until they were sure to snap. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing happened,” the Duchess said quickly. “She was able to escape. But the man had the worst of intentions toward her, and as you can imagine, it affected the way she thinks about men to this day. She finds it difficult to place any trust in a gentleman’s intentions. It’s why she hasn’t wished to spend any time alone with you, you see.”
“Perhaps that’s part of the reason, but I’m confident it’s not the only reason,” Allan said. Was this what people had believed? “Don’t mistake me—it’s an outrage that someone could do that to her, and if the fellow were here now, I would drag him from the room and force him to account for his actions. But Lady Edwina is not someone who lives out of fear. She might have decided gentlemen were not worth her efforts after that experience, but she has never spent a single dayfrightenedof me. She’s made the decision that she doesn’t require a gentleman in order to live happily—that’s what I see in her.”
The Duchess regarded him. “You see my sister very clearly,” she said. “I think you may see her better than anyone ever has.”
Allan felt heat creep through him. “I don’t know about that.”
“Well, I do. I have watched Edwina spend her life wishing she were better known—better understood. I have watched her grow increasingly frustrated day by day at the fact that no one sees the world in the same way she does. I’m glad she knows you, Your Grace. I’m glad the two of you spent the time you did together. My brother wouldn’t like me to say that. He thought it wasn’t a good choice. But I see now that he was wrong. The two of you are a good fit for one another—as companions if nothing else.”The Duchess sighed. “I think you could have been more to each other, but I suppose neither of you felt that way, and that can’t be helped.”
She turned her attention back to her meal.
But Allan felt frozen where he sat.
This changed everything—or at least, he felt as though it did. It meant that he wasn’t the only person who had seen something between Lady Edwina and himself after all. The Duchess had seen it, too. And if she had seen it, that validated his belief that it had really been there.
There was something between them. Something worth exploring.
But what could he do? She had left. He couldn’t force her to return.
Perhaps heshouldgo after her.
Perhaps he should listen to her sister—and listen to his own heart.
But then he would be ignoring what she had told him. She had said she wanted him out of her life. And the Duchess had just finished telling him that he understood Lady Edwina as well as anybody did. This was no time to start ignoring what she said to him, surely?
He sighed, having lost his appetite altogether, and rose from the table.
“Your Grace, where are you going?” the Duchess asked him, watching as he got to his feet.
“I didn’t sleep very well last night,” he confessed. “I think I’ll return to my room for a few more hours.”
He saw the disappointment on her face, the sadness in her eyes, and knew that she had hoped for a different answer from him.
But what could he do? She wanted to see her sister married. She wanted him to be the one to bring Lady Edwina back to change the course that things were on. And Allan simply had no confidence that he was capable of any such thing.
He left the dining room and returned to his bedroom, feeling as exhausted as if he had been up for a full day. The darkness of his unlit room was welcoming, and he returned to his bed without bothering to remove his clothes.
This time, unlike last night, sleep stole over him almost at once, and before he had time to torment himself further about the complex and painful events of the last few days, he found himself sinking into the warm and welcome relief of slumber.
CHAPTER 36
But sleep did not keep its hold on Allan for long.
He could tell by the position of the sun in the sky when he next opened his eyes that he had only been asleep for about an hour, and he wondered why he had woken. Surely, his exhaustion was more powerful than this. It didn’t make sense for him to be awake now after having been up all night as well.
Then he heard the sound of a knock at his door. So that was what had woken him.
He thought of telling whoever it was to leave. He wished them to leave. But there was too much happening right now, and he couldn’t ignore the possibility that this might be news of Lady Edwina. If it was, he wanted to hear it, so he went to the door and opened it, feeling like he was trudging through sand.
His grandmother stood on the other side. “Here you are,” she observed, eyeing him hawkishly. “I’ve been knocking for several minutes.”
“I was asleep, Grandmother. What is this?”
“Well, let me come in, and we’ll discuss it.”
Allan sighed and stepped back to let her into the room. His grandmother came in, looked about the place, and went to the curtains. She took hold of them and flung them open.
