“How can I know what she prefers? And what should it matter to me if she does?” Allan blustered. “You know as well as anyone that there was never anything serious between the two of us, Seth. I seek a perfect duchess, not an unattainable spinster.”
The two gentlemen watched as Lord Kentrow took Lady Edwina’s arm. The color on her cheeks grew more pronounced as he led her onto the dance floor.
It was impossible to imagine that she did not feel something for him. It was so obvious. And as he observed them dancing, Allan found himself feeling an unpleasant sensation in the pit of his stomach. It felt as if he had eaten something that didn’t agree with him.
A servant walked by with a platter of wine glasses. Allan grabbed one and downed half of it quickly.
Seth stared at him. “All right,” he said. “Let’s go up to the library. I don’t think it’s doing you any good to be down here watching this.
The library was dark and quiet, with no candles and no fire. Seth took a seat, but Allan couldn’t stop pacing, thinking about what must be happening downstairs, even at this very moment.
“I didn’t realize that you cared for her,” Seth said softly.
“I told you, I don’t.” Allan’s fingers ached, and he forced himself to relax his hands.
“But you do,” Seth said. “I could see how the sight of her affected you, Allan. I’m not a fool. Why won’t you admit it? I know that you never meant to feel anything for her. I know that you’ve never meant to let yourself feel anything for any young lady—I was once the same if you’ll recall.”
“It’s different for me,” Allan insisted.
“I don’t see how it’s different,” Seth argued. “You and I have the same responsibilities, don’t we? We each had to find an appropriate duchess to stand beside us. Perhaps you think I abandoned that duty when I found the lady I truly loved—Is that what you believe?”
“Of course, I don’t believe that,” Allan said. “You know how I feel about the Duchess. Lavinia is a marvelous lady. Perfect for you. And she makes a fine duchess and a fine wife at that. You are lucky to have her.”
“And you don’t think her sister would be just as good?”
“It’s completely different, and you know it. Everyone knows that Laviniawantedto marry and to be a wife and mother. Even at her most awkward, she was always doing her best to fit in among the ton, and people could see that about her. But Lady Edwina is completely different. She wants nothing to do with things like marriage and fitting in. No matter how well bred a lady is, she can’t possibly be what I’m looking for if she doesn’t evenwantto be.”
“But if she has no desire for those things, what is she doing dancing with Lord Kentrow?”
“I’m sure she simply doesn’t wish to be rude to him.”
“You should go and speak to her, Allan. Maybe things have changed for her.”
“I have no reason to think that might be the case,” Allan said stiffly. “And I’m certainly not going to beg any lady for her attention, Seth. You know perfectly well that I don’t need to lower myself to that.”
“Of course, you don’t, and yet, if you truly want to spend time with her, you’re going to have to make sure she knows it,” Seth explained. “I saw the way you looked at her when Lord Kentrow led her onto the dance floor. Your face was as tight as if you had swallowed a lemon. For a moment, I really thought you might lash out and break something. That’s part of why I led you from the room, you know.”
“I’m going back down,” Allan said.
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do? You don’t have to, you know. I think it pains you to see her with Lord Kentrow, Allan, and I feel sure she’s still going to be dancing with him.” Seth stepped forward, hesitated for a moment, and then rested a hand on Allan’s shoulder. “Perhaps Lavinia and I should never have aided you in securing these dates with her in the first place.”
“You had nothing to do with it,” Allan informed him. “Your choice to offer her in the auction didn’t compel me to place my bid.” He felt so full of anger that he knew he needed to walk away from his friend right then and there or risk saying something he might regret. It frightened him, feeling this angry—and he didn’t understand the reason behind it. He had come to like Lady Edwina, to respect her, and to admire her beauty, but that was no reason for the sort of response he was having now. He couldn’t possibly be this upset about her. It made no sense, and he didn’t know what to do with the things he was feeling.
He turned and strode quickly out of the room.
CHAPTER 31
He’s going to ask me to marry him.
It was all Edwina could think as she and Lord Kentrow danced together. They were on their second dance now—he’d requested another after the first had come to an end—and she knew that she was leading him on.
Unless she wasn’t, of course.
Because what if…it felt almost insane to even think it, but…what if shedidwant to marry him?
Marriage had always felt like something Edwina would never consider. But here on the dance floor with Lord Kentrow, she could acknowledge that she had made that decision after having been treated badly by gentlemen in the past. She had told herself that she wouldn’t settle for anything less than a kind and loving gentleman, and she had spent years convincing herself that such a person didn’t really exist.
She looked up at Lord Kentrow. He was smiling at her, his face open and unguarded, and she knew that there was no cruelty or malice in him. Not this man. He wouldn’t ever treat her badly. He wouldn’t manipulate her or try to bring shame upon her. He wasn’t the sort of person to do that.
