“Oh, no,” she said quickly. “No, nothing like that.”
She would never reveal the kiss. The last thing she wanted was a marriage the Duke had been trapped into. He wanted a perfect duchess. He would hate to settle for anything less, and he would resent her for the rest of their lives if such a thing were to occur. They would both be miserable.
“Ver well,” Matthew said. “In that case, I can only advise that you distance yourself from the fellow as quickly as you possibly can, Edwina. He’s of no use to you. You know he won’t be proposing marriage. Hasn’t he made it clear from the start that he didn’t want any such thing?”
“Yes, he has.”
“So at least he’s been honest. Do not let him stop you from accepting a good proposal from a good man. You’ll be happywith Lord Kentrow, Edwina, and you deserve that happiness. Accept it.”
Edwina nodded slowly.
“You’ll accept the proposal?”
“I’ll think about it,” she whispered. “I don’t truly wish to marry him, but…”
“I think it’s for the best.”
“Maybe it is.”
How had she gotten here? She had entered the season determined to cling to her independence. When she had been promised to the Duke for five dates, she had told herself that she would not be swept away. She would get through the dates and life would go back to normal.
That was what should have happened.
And yet, now, everything had changed. She found herself seriously considering marriage after all, something she had never believed she would do. Why? What was different in her?
One thing she felt sure of—her brother was right.Somethinghad changed, and she was sure it had something to do with the Duke’s presence in her life. A longing that she had neverexperienced before had been awakened, and she didn’t know how to put it back to sleep or even if such a thing could be done.
“Edwina,” Matthew said quietly.
She looked up at him.
“I’m sorry,” he said gently. “I knew the kind of man he was. I knew the effect he had on ladies and that he never took them seriously. I warned you away from him, but I should have simply stepped between you. I should have forbidden the whole thing.”
He embraced her, and Edwina found herself hard-pressed not to cry. It was so good to have an elder brother—someone who truly cared for her, someone who would do anything for her.
But she couldn’t share the sentiment he offered now.
She did not wish he had kept her away from the Duke. She did not wish they had never shared their time.
She was grateful for every moment.
She just wished it didn’t have to come to an end.
But her brother was right. The Duke would never propose marriage, and she was wasting her time with him. He couldn’t take her seriously.
She shouldn’t take him seriously, either.
CHAPTER 30
Allan lurked in the shadows, avoiding everyone and trying as hard as he could not to be seen.
This wasn’t his usual behavior. He knew that, and he was sure that the way he was acting had been noticed. He wasn’t a wallflower. He was one to seek out ladies to dance with, to ask them for their hand and their time. He hated that he was acting this way. It made him feel more conspicuous than ever, as though surely everyone was looking at him and whispering about him, judging and asking questions. They must be. He was so conscious of his own behavior that it was impossible to imagine that it wouldn’t be overly transparent to everyone else in the room.
The fact that no one was looking at him was only somewhat reassuring. Perhaps they were afraid to do so. Perhaps no one wanted to stare directly at a duke.
Then again…it was always possible that his plan was working. Maybe he simply hadn’t caught anybody’s attention. That was what he had intended for tonight. He didn’t want to be bothered any further by his grandmother. He didn’t want to be pestered by Miss Catherine, Miss Georgina, or Miss Olivia—though he knew there was something unfair about his feelings toward those ladies who had done nothing wrong. They couldn’t help it if they were a bit annoying.
Most of all, though, Allan didn’t want to be noticed by Lady Edwina. She had made it so abundantly clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. And then that moment by the river, and everything that had come after…he had lived those moments again and again in his head since that day, regretting the fact that he hadn’t simply kissed her while she had been right there in front of him. It had been the perfect moment, a moment they might not get again. What in the world had stopped him?
