CHAPTER 21
“She was lovely, wasn’t she?” Allan’s grandmother asked him.
They stood on the front lawn watching as the Baroness and Miss Catherine rode away in their carriage. Allan could feel nothing but happiness at their departure, but he didn’t wish to offend or to speak ill of the young lady now that she was gone.
“She was well-mannered enough,” Allan said. It was the best compliment he felt able to offer.
“You didn’t like her,” his grandmother surmised.
“She was perfectly fine as houseguests go.”
“Yes, but in terms of your search for a duchess. That’s what I’m asking.”
“She is not my duchess. No.”
His grandmother sighed. “I don’t think you can continue to be so particular, Allan. You’re setting yourself up for all sorts of trouble.”
“What trouble could I possibly be setting myself up for, Grandmother?”
“It’s not always going to be as easy for you to find a young lady to marry as it is right now,” she warned him. “At present, you’re considered one of the most eligible gentlemen in the ton. Any young lady would love to marry you, and any mother would love to see her daughter on your arm.”
“I hardly think that’s true.” His thoughts were with Lady Edwina, of course. “I’m sure there are plenty of ladies who would have no interest in me at all.”
“Even if that’s the case, there are just as many who would. But that isn’t my point,” his grandmother said. “My point is that the longer you delay, the more difficult this will be. Perhaps you don’t notice the difficulty right now, but you will. In a few years’ time, all the best-looking young ladies of your age will be married off. Why, I’m sure Miss Catherine has other suitors waiting in the wings. She’s a beauty. No doubt she came to you first because you’re the Duke of Harbeck, but now that you’ve shown her no interest, she’s likely to be married to someone else very quickly.”
“That suits me fine,” Allan said. “I hope shedoesmarry quickly since I have no interest in her and no desire to see her alone and unhappy. It would perhaps be the best thing for everyone involved if she finds a husband without delay.”
“To have that attitude about one young lady is all well and good, but you seem to have it about every young lady you meet.”
“Grandmother, I will find a wife in my own time when I encounter someone who lives up to my standards. I certainly won’t settle before that,” he told her. “And if you meddle in my affairs again, I won’t hesitate to let the affected parties know exactly what you’re doing. I allowed the Baroness and Miss Catherine to stay for the weekend because I had no desire to embarrass you, but it’s not something I intend to tolerate in the future, and you should be aware of that.”
“Oh, Allan. You’re always so stubborn.”
“I simply know my own mind,” Allan said. “I have known for a long time what I’m searching for in a wife. Miss Catherine is frivolous, and her wit is no match for mine. We would soon tire of one another. It would not be an ideal match, nor would she make the sort of impression on the ton I require from my duchess. I need someone on my arm who I can be proud of—someone who reflects well on this household and this family. That’s what my father would have wanted.”
The thought of his father filled him with grief as it always did. At times, it felt as though the only remedy for that grief was thethought of the lady he would marry. When he had her on his arm, he would know that he had fulfilled his parents’ desires.
And that was the reason she needed to be perfect. That was why he could accept nothing less. All these years, since his parents had died, he had done his best to present a charming face to the public and to ensure that everyone saw him as the worthy successor to his father. The lady he married would share that role. They would face society as duke and duchess together, and they would reflect on Allan’s parents, who were no longer here to present their own legacy.
It was an intense burden, but it was one he took very seriously, and he could only marry a lady who took it just as seriously as he did.
“Your father was also my son,” his grandmother reminded him. “I knew him well. I know what he would have wanted.”
“And am I wrong?”
“You’re both right and wrong,” his grandmother informed him. “Your father would have wanted an admirable duchess, it’s true. But more even than that, he would have desired your happiness. He wouldn’t have wanted to see you resign yourself to spending your life alone.”
“I’m hardly resigned to that fate, Grandmother.”
“He also wouldn’t have wanted to see you miss out on a chance to be happy because you delayed things in search of perfection. Perfection does not exist, Allan. You will never find it, no matter how far and wide you search. You must find a way to accept happiness in the form it comes to you.”
Allan shook his head. “This matter is closed for discussion,” he told her. “I know you care for me, Grandmother. You’ve always done so, ever since Mother and Father died. I know you want what’s best. But you must abandon the idea that what’s best for me is accepting a quick marriage to whatever young lady crosses my path.”
“Now, you know perfectly well that that was not what I suggested,” his grandmother told him firmly. “I have never indicated that I thought you ought to settle for someone unworthy. I merely think that you need to correct your idea of what a worthy lady is.”
“I will make this decision in my own time,” Allan told her. “You’ve overstepped, Grandmother. The fact that you would try to make an arrangement on my behalf?—”
“Allan, I never tried to make an arrangement. I merely invited the young lady to spend some time with you.”
