“So, you do have feelings for him!”
“Why do you care? Answer the question.”
Allan was continually astonished by Lady Edwina’s boldness. Now, she was insisting that he answer her question, as if she had the right to order him around. She stared at him expectantly, and he could see that it hadn’t even occurred to her that he might not answer.
And, he realized, he was going to answer. She was maddening, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t want to give her the information she was after. If nothing else, perhaps it would end this argument.
But what answer could he give her? Whatwasthe answer? She was right to wonder about this, he realized. It didn’t make sense that he should be worried about what she was doing in her spare time. She was right—it wouldn’t prevent him from finding the duchess he sought.
So why did he feel a gnawing in the pit of his stomach every time he thought about her and Lord Kentrow?
“It’s disrespectful,” he said at last.
She raised her eyebrows. “Disrespectful? What’s disrespectful?”
“You were clear about the fact that you wanted me to focus on you for the duration of our dates,” he informed her. “You didn’t want to have to see me with other ladies. And I decided that was a fair thing for you to ask. Now I see you with Lord Kentrow?—”
“You didn’t make the same request of me as I did of you.”
“And you couldn’t have inferred that it was what I would want? That it would be rude and improper for you to be in the presence of another gentleman during the time while you’re supposed to be mine?”
“I’m notyours!” Lady Edwina said. “You don’t even want me to be, Your Grace. You only care about your duchess. This sounds as if you’re jealous, but I know that you can’t be because you have no interest in me.”
“Of course, I have an interest in you! Why would I have bid on these dates with you if I had no interest?”
She froze, staring at him, and Allan realized at once that he had said more than he had intended to.
“All I meant was that these dates mean something to me,” he said. “I expected that you would take them as seriously as I do.”
“I told you from the start that I wouldn’t. That I didn’t even want this.”
“You also told me you didn’t wish to marry, and now, I see you with Lord Kentrow.”
“But not because I want to marry him! Do you understand anything at all? Don’t you know what it means to be a young lady in this world and to be unmarried? Can’t you appreciate the fact that my life is all but decided for me? You know how hard I have to fight to live the way I want to. You know that I find myself on these dates with you, not because I chose them but because they were arranged for me whether I liked it or not. And you can’t imagine that I might not have chosen to spend time with Lord Kentrow? That the decision might have been made for me?”
Allan felt like a fool. He hadn’t thought about it like that, and now that she said it…of course, that was what had happened, and he should have realized it. It made only too much sense. She was right—she had always been clear that she didn’t want courtship or marriage, so if there was a gentleman in her life, of course, it had happened because someone else had made the arrangement on her behalf.
It was Matthew. Matthew had been the one to call Lord Kentrow over to her at the garden party. Matthew had been the one who must have invited him to the house today, just as Lady Edwina had said. He should have listened to her from the start.
“I apologize,” he said. “Of course, you’re right. I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”
“That’s right, you shouldn’t,” she agreed. “But what I can’t understand, what you still haven’t explained to me, is why any of thismatters, Your Grace. Why do you care what I do? You say that I was disrespectful to you, but this is such a minor thing and so easily explained. And remember, you’re the one who chose me. You’re the one who chose dates with a lady you had to have known would be all but impossible to pin down. I don’t understand how any of this comes as a surprise to you, or how you can imagine that anyone else would be surprised by it either. No one is going to think you’re being disgraced by my behavior. Most people won’t have expected me to finish this time belonging to you anyway.”
“I know that.”
“So, what are you upset about? Why does it bother you?”
“I can’t believe you don’t know the answer to that question.”
“If it’s so obvious, then tell me. I can’t figure it out.”
Allan couldn’t take any more. He rose to his feet and closed the difference between them.
She went tense, staring up at him as if she didn’t know what to make of his sudden approach, and Allan noticed that her breathing had become short and sharp. She was reacting to thenearness between them, and he felt his body starting to respond as well. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but it was difficult with her looking into his eyes the way she was. Already, he felt as if he had forgotten half of what he’d intended to say.
“There may not be a future for you and me,” he managed. “but we have the present. We have our time together right now, Lady Edwina. I don’t want it to be ruined.”
“Ruined how? How would it be ruined?” She searched his eyes.
