In fact—it seemed to her as though, if that was what he wanted, she might actually entertain the idea.
She swallowed hard, waiting to see what he would say.
“The truth is,” he said, “I thought spending time with you would help me find my duchess.”
“Help how?”
“These five dates have brought all sorts of attention to the two of us. You must have noticed it yourself. Gentlemen have been paying you more attention than ever before—and you were never unpopular. Isn’t that so?”
“Yes,” she conceded, wondering where this was going.
“Well, the same is true of me,” he said. “More ladies than ever before have approached me. Shown interest in me. And if my perfect duchess is out there, perhaps this brings her to me.”
“You’re doing this because you want to attract the attention of other ladies.”
“Yes,” he said. “It’s time for me to marry. It’s already past time, truth be told, and I need to face up to my duty. I won’t compromise when it comes to the lady I marry, however. I won’t settle until I find the perfect duchess. But I need to do everything I can to find her sooner rather than later, and this is a step toward that.”
“I see,” Edwina said softly.
It was difficult to speak—she had a lump in her throat, and she couldn’t say exactly why. Hadn’t this been what she had hoped to hear? She’d wanted him to tell her that he wasn’t interested in marrying her. She had wanted her father to be wrong about what he had suggested. And this vindicated her. She had been right all along.
That ought to be a good thing.
But it wasn’t, somehow. Edwina felt a deep sense of what she could only describe as loss. And that really didn’t make sense. She hadn’t lost anything. When it came to the Duke, she had never had anything to lose in the first place. And she hadn’t wanted to! Why this feeling, all of a sudden, that something important was gone?
She didn’t know.
But she would have to ponder that later because right now the Duke was watching her, waiting to see what her reaction would be to what he had said. And she couldn’t let him know that shewas feeling these things. He might laugh at her. Worse yet, he might pity her.
“Well,” she said at length, “I suppose that makes sense.”
“Was it what you wanted to hear?”
“I wanted an explanation,” she said. “I didn’t understand why someone would do what you did—bid so much money for five dates with me. Some might do it for charity, but if that was the reason, I’d think you would simply give the money to a charity and leave me out of it—or perhaps bid on one of the art pieces.”
“You’re right, I could have done those things.”
“And I knew you had told me it was all about the game,” she continued. “But I never believed that. Not really. I know the game is a part of it for you—I believe you do truly relish the challenge you’ve set for yourself, trying to make me fall for you.”
“I suppose you still claim that’s not going to happen?”
“Nothing’s changed.”
But that wasn’t true. Something had changed. Edwina didn’t know how to define the change, and she certainly didn’t know how to explain it, but the way she felt about him was different. And when he had suggested that he was only with her because he wanted to meet another lady—one better suited to him…
She actually felt jealous. She couldn’t believe it, but she couldn’t ignore it either. Not anymore. If she was honest with herself, the feeling had been coming on for a long time.
He was watching her, his head cocked slightly to one side, and the warmth in his eyes made her feel like she was melting. It was a pleasant feeling—but it was awful because she knew she would never be able to admit to it. And if he knew what she was thinking—how she was feeling—he would probably be horrified.
Her feelings had changed—but she knew she could never let him know it had happened. She was simply going to have to guard her heart and keep everything she thought to herself. It would be one of the more difficult things she had ever done—but she knew she could do it.
It’s not as if I’ve fallen in love with him, after all, she reminded herself.That would be so much worse. All that’s happened is that I’ve developed a fondness for him. It’s more than I ever meant to allow myself to do, of course—but ultimately, it’s something I’ll be able to work through. It’s good that I know for certain now exactly what he wants from this relationship.
Edwina cleared her throat. “Thank you,” she said. “Thank you for clearing that up for me. I can promise you now that things will be different between the two of us.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’re only doing this to try to meet other ladies, there’s no reason for me to put up so much resistance,” Edwina explained.“I’ll go on the remainder of our dates—I’ll cooperate with you. Then you’ll be able to find the lady you’re looking for.”
