“You buy dates with me at an auction, so no. Besides, you don’t want to marry me, so why are we talking about you?”
“Fair enough.”
“I’d only marry a gentleman who I felt respected me,” Lady Edwina declared. There was a passion in her voice that Allan had never heard before as she spoke openly on the subject for the first time, and he found himself captivated by it. “He would have to see me as his equal. He would have to treat me with respectand dignity at all times and never try to overrule my will with his own. If I ever met a gentleman like that, I might consider a marriage to him. But I have never met such a man.”
Allan nodded as the two of them continued their dance.
He resisted the impulse to say something teasing or to continue trying to charm her. The truth was, he appreciated the fact that she was speaking so openly and honestly with him. It was the first time she had done so. And even though there was still something defensive about the things she was saying—insisting that she would never marry, pointing out that no man she had ever met had lived up to her standard—it was an improvement because she was talking to him instead of trying to push him away.
He didn’t want to call attention to the fact that she was opening up to him because he was sure that as soon as she realized she’d done it, she would shut down again. This was only happening because she had let her guard down a bit. She had forgotten to keep him at arm’s length.
He would take advantage of that fact and use it to get closer to her. Charming her might be easier than he had imagined it would.
But also, he found himself taking the things she had said seriously.
She wasn’t a spinster merely out of stubbornness and defiance. Shedidhave qualities in mind that would compel her to marry.She simply felt as if she had never met a man with those qualities.
Maybe she hadn’t. It did seem as though her standards were unusually high. If Allan had been her father or brother, trying to find a good match for her—one that she would accept—he had to admit that he didn’t know where he would begin.
And he was glad he wasn’t trying to impress her so much that she would actually want to marry him.
For the first time, he doubted his ability to do that.
That doubt was an unfamiliar, uneasy feeling. He had never been unsure of himself with a lady before, but he had never had any involvement with a lady with such high standards. She was willing to remain a spinster forever. She would never settle for anything less than the idea of a gentleman she had in her mind, and that idea was more than even Allan was confident he could live up to. It was larger than life.
CHAPTER 7
“Will you step out into the garden with me?” the Duke asked.
Edwina’s first instinct was to deny him, of course. She was forcibly reminded of her first season and the incident with Lord Essington when he had taken her out into the garden.
But of course, this couldn’t have been more different. She neither admired nor trusted the Duke, but it was important that he wasn’t dragging her anywhere against her will. For all the unpleasant things she had said to him about feeling as though she had no choice in the matter of being with him, the truth was that she knew he was showing her a lot more respect than she had been shown on that occasion. If she told him she wasn’t willing to go out into the garden, Edwina didn’t doubt that he wouldn’t force her.
“All right,” she said hesitantly. “But we should stay on the main path to make sure there are plenty of people around us.”
“Oh, naturally,” the Duke agreed. “I wouldn’t want to cause a scandal.”
“Have you ever hesitated in the past to cause a scandal?”
“You do me wrong, My Lady. I know you think of me as a rake?—”
“You are a rake.”
“But I would never do anything to ruin a lady’s reputation against her will. I’m not a monster.”
The fact that he could tell the difference rather surprised Edwina, and she found herself believing him. Perhaps he could be trusted, at least a little bit.
And it couldn’t be denied that she had begun to trust him a little bit already. Talking to him about her views on marriage—where had that come from? That wasn’t something she usually did. She didn’t like opening up to gentlemen in that way. When a gentleman came calling, her usual practice was to rebuff him but not to explain why she was doing so.
It was odd, finding herself more willing to speak candidly with someone.
Perhaps it was because she knew she was going to be stuck with the Duke of Harbeck for a long time, she reflected as they stepped out onto the garden path. Maybe that had made herrealize that there was no point in trying to keep everything to herself and that she might as well speak openly.
They made their way along the path. Edwina found that she did feel safe out here. It was full of groups of people—other couples, pairs of gentlemen, clusters of ladies—and though she knew they were watching her with a keen interest, wondering about her talked-about date with the Duke, at least that was better than no one watching her or even knowing where she was at all.
“It’s a lovely night,” the Duke commented.
“It is,” Edwina conceded.
