Harriet felt her own tears welling up as she watched the tender moment between Tobias, Emma, and Catherine. She wiped them away quickly, trying to compose herself.
Simon noticed the tears in Harriet’s eyes and gently placed a hand on her back, offering silent support. Harriet turned to him, her expression one of bittersweet resolve.
“Shall we give them a moment to themselves?” Simon leaned in to whisper in her ear.
Harriet nodded, “Yes.”
They both left the nursery.
“Harriet, I have to say that your method worked flawlessly…” Simon turned to look at Harriet.
He was in a playful mood, but the smile got wiped from his face when he saw the stormy expression on his wife’s face.
“Something happened?”
She tore her gaze away, “I must tell you something.”
Simon waited for her to speak, his anxiety amping up at this sudden anticipation.
“I’ll be in your room tonight.”
“Oh.” Simon’s heart lurched at her words.
He knew what she meant, knew that she was referring to the offer he had made her — the offer to give her a child before he left her for good. The offer had been made in a moment of despair, when he had been too afraid to confront his own feelings for her.
Harriet continued, “I know you’ll want to leave as soon as possible after all of this. So let’s get it over with, shall we?”
Simon’s chest tightened. He wanted to tell her no, wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to leave her, that he couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone again. But the fear of heartbreak — the fear of becoming like his father — held him back.
He had more in common with his brother than he thought.
It’s better to be lonely than heartbroken, he reminded himself, the mantra that had guided him for so long now feeling hollow and empty.
Simon struggled to find the words, his throat tight with emotion. He wanted to say something that would make things better but could not figure out what.
Instead, he simply nodded, his heart breaking as he watched Harriet turn and walk away.
As Harriet left for her room, Simon’s gaze followed her.
He had always prided himself on his control, on his ability to keep his feelings in check. But now, standing in the midst of the emotional storm that had unfolded before him, he felt that control slipping away.
Distract yourself.
Simon turned his attention back to Tobias and Emma, and peeked inside the nursery. They were still wrapped in each other’s arms, their love for each other and for their daughter shining through them.
It was a scene of pure, unguarded emotion, and it made Simon realize just how much he had been holding back.
This is what he was missing in his own life.
Quickly, he stopped watching them. Harriet now gone, Simon felt a pang of regret deep in his chest. He wanted to chase after her, to tell her that he didn’t want to be lonely, that he didn’t want her to be lonely either. He wanted to tell her that he would stay, that he would be the husband she deserved. But the fear that had been his constant companion for so long kept him rooted in place.
Don’t let her go,a voice inside him urged, but he could not yet find the courage to act on it.
Simon turned away from the door, his expression hardening.
Finally, Tobias and Emma emerged from inside the nursery. They were all smiles, though Simon could see traces of old tears on their faces.
Distract yourself.
