And with marriage came a different sort of life — one that was meant to be spent with a husband. This did not seem right.
“I do not know if I want this,” she protested, albeit meekly.
“It does not matter what you want,” the duke’s words were stiff. “I do not have to cater to those needs. I did not want to get married like this either.”
His words stung, but she did not let it show. Showing weakness when they were practically strangers felt wrong.
“Then, why did you?” she asked. “You could have left me to a life of ruin! Society would have eventually forgiven you — they always do. Why did you subject yourself to this?”
He was silent.
“Tell me, Your Grace,” Harriet felt her own patience wearing thin.
“I am not someone who could live with themselves if I knew that I had ruined your chances at finding a match,” he admitted quietly.
She stared back at him. “So, this is merely just a duty to you?”
“You can call it that,” he nodded, his voice devoid of any emotion.
“When does a duty begin feeling like a burden, then, Your Grace?” Her own voice cracked as she said the words. She had tried hard to keep herself from showing emotion, but it had not worked.
“You do not have to be ridiculous, neither so dramatic,” Simon reeled himself back in. “It is no burden for me to care for you.”
Harriet wanted to point out to him thatcarewas not just measured in finances. But she held back. She did not want to imply to him that she desired a romantic love from him. That would make her appear too needy — and it would be far too embarrassing for her to admit, even though a small part of her desired that very thing.
“And…” her own voice trembled under his intense gaze, “What about you? Where will you go?”
Simon’s expression hardened. “That is none of your concern. We made an agreement, and I intend to uphold my part of it.”
Simon’s eyes flickered with a hint of something — regret, perhaps? But it was gone as quickly as it appeared. “It is better this way. For both of us.”
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Harriet standing alone. There was nothing she could do to stop him, nor make him change his mind.
And when she woke in the morning, he had upheld his promise. He had gone, leaving Harriet alone in a large estate to assume her new role as a duchess.
All alone.
How has this become my life?
CHAPTER 3
“Mary, you almost had it!” Harriet cheered as one of the maids narrowly missed a hoop in a ring toss game.
“Oh, my apologies, Your Grace. Not all of us are as skilled as you are,” the maid gushed.
Harriet was in her garden, playing a game with her housemaids. It was something that she had started on a whim — only to pass the time, as she did not have her husband to spend time with. But over the last few months, it had become something of a routine.
Whenever she found the time, Harriet would engage in some form of play with the women house staff. It helped curbed her loneliness, lest it arrived, and helped the staff grow comfortable with her as well.
It was also why she had taken it upon herself to hire several new housemaids — all young women like herself. When she had arrived at the estate, she could count the number of staff on two hands. But now, the number far exceeded it, and it was like Harriet had her own little community of helpers in name, but friends in actuality.
“Shall we try that again?” Mary asked, her bright eyes widening.
Harriet grinned, turning to the head housemaid. “We shall let Mrs. Alridge be the judge of that. What do you say, Mrs. Alridge?”
Mrs. Alridge, who was a graceful woman in her fifties, took her job quite seriously. It was her exemplary discipline, and grace that had allowed her to rise through the ranks to the position of head housemaid. She nodded, curtly. “I believe the young woman deserves another chance, Your Grace.”
“Well then, the judge has spoken,” Harriet nodded. Since Mrs. Alridge was a bit too old to participate in the games, Harriet included her by appointing her as the judge.
