Harriet nodded, and waited for him to speak again.
Simon hesitated, searching for the right words. “I know that I’ve been distant,” he said, his tone more serious now. “And I know that it has hurt you. I never meant for that to happen.”
Harriet’s gaze softened, but she remained silent, waiting for him to continue.
“In fact, it was not your fault either… it was just…” he sighed. “I suppose I am no better than anyone else. I am just a product of my own circumstances.”
Harriet blinked, once and then again. “Simon, I wish to understand what it is that you are saying to me. But you need to give me a little more than just that.”
Usually, Simon would have never indulged a request like that. But tonight — swaying in the middle of the dance floor, her looking as she did, the growing closeness between them — he would not refuse.
Simon took a deep breath, his thoughts turning to the past. “My father… he was not a good man, Harriet. He was a rake, a scoundrel who made my mother’s life miserable. I grew up watching him betray her over and over again, always chasing after his own desires, never caring about the pain he caused her.”
He said all of this in one breath. It was not rehearsed, but he could not afford to drag it out for long. Expelling the truth in this case felt like taking a thorn out of one’s skin — you never remove it slowly, only roughly and all at once.
Harriet’s eyes widened slightly at the admission, but she didn’t interrupt.
“I swore that I would never become like him,” Simon continued. “I promised myself that I would never hurt anyone the way he hurt my mother. But when I was forced into this marriage, I was afraid. I was afraid that I would end up like him, that I would destroy you the way he destroyed her.”
Harriet’s hand tightened in his, “Simon… I did not know…”
CHAPTER 20
Harriet had always wanted the duke to confide in her with the same openness that he was displaying to her in this moment.
But somehow, she had never expected that he would. Let alone in the middle of their dance.
“You are not your father, Simon,” she tried to reassure him. She could see the pain in his eyes — how long had he hidden it from the world?
It was heartbreaking as much as it was astounding.
She could see the fear in his eyes, the lingering doubt that had haunted him for so long. But she also saw the man he truly was — kind, honorable, and far different from the figure he seemed so desperate not to become.
“I try to fight it,” he admitted, “It is in my blood, after all. But I think my brother lost that battle long ago.”
“Your brother?” Harriet was surprised. She had never before heard Simon speak of his brother.
“You’ve heard the rumors about my brother, I’m sure. Tobias… he’s a rogue, just like our father. He’s always been reckless, irresponsible, never thinking about the consequences of his actions.”
Harriet nodded, though she did not ever listen to gossip to know of these rumors.
“Was he the person who visited today?” she asked.
Simon exhaled a deep sigh, and then nodded. “Indeed.”
“Then why did you keep this from me? If I knew that your relationship was so strained — perhaps I could have helped…”
He did not let her finish her sentence. “I did not want you to get involved. The situation is….more complex than you might imagine.”
Harriet almost stopped her movements, and squared up to him. But she did not want to draw attention on them, so she kept her expression pleasant — even though she felt more confused than ever, and talked only in soft tones.
“I do not wish to imagine. You must tell me.”
Simon hesitated for a moment, his gaze locked with hers. “I believe Catherine is his daughter.”
The shock of his words sent a chill through Harriet, her breath catching in her throat. “His daughter? But… how can you be sure?”
Simon’s expression hardened. “When Catherine was left on our doorstep, I didn’t know who she belonged to. But after some investigation, I found out that Tobias had been frequenting certain less reputable places. When I confronted him, he all but admitted that he had been involved with several women around the time Catherine was born. He doesn’t know who the mother is, and frankly, I’m not sure he cares.”
