“But I didn’t. And then… they died. And I was left with this crushing guilt that I could have done something, anything, to save him.”
Frances reached out, gently cupping his face in her hands. “Christopher, you’ve carried this burden for too long. You did everything you could. You took in his sons, you’ve given them a home and a family. You’ve done more than anyone could have asked for.”
Christopher looked into her eyes, his own glistening with unshed tears. “But I failed him, Frances. I failed Peter, did I not? And now his children are paying the price for my mistakes.”
Frances shook her head, her voice firm. “No, Christopher. You didn’t fail him. You’ve given Ernest and Edwin a chance at a life they would have never had.” And then, after a small pause, she added, “You never told me about the letter before.”
She searched his eyes for the truth. If she was going to help him, then she had to know everything.
“I received a letter from Peter just before he married Lydia,” Christopher began quietly. “He wrote to tell me that he had finally found love and that our mother couldn’t stop him anymore. He was leaving to start a new life with her.”
Frances nodded and gently wrapped her hand around his in support. Christopher glanced down at their entwined fingers but did not pull away.
“He was so determined, so happy,” he continued, his voice trembling slightly. “For the first time, he had something to fight for. How could I have stopped him?”
“He was capable of making his own decisions, Christopher. How could you have anticipated what was going to happen?”
Christopher shook his head. It was clear that he blamed himself for every single thing and would not hear a word edgewise.
“When I found out they had died, it was like my world collapsed. I spent two days in a haze, drinking to numb the pain. I can’t even remember what I did during those days. It’s all a blur.”
Frances tightened her grip on his hand. “Christopher, you were grieving. You had every right to feel lost. Why must you judge yourself so harshly? Is it not also true that you were the first person to take the twins in?”
Christopher shook his head, his eyes filled with torment. “But I should have been there for him. I should have protected him, and Lydia, and their boys while they were still alive. Instead, I was too wrapped up in my guilt and shame to help him when he needed me most.”
“But at least you did something.”
“When my butler told me about the twins, I knew I had to do something. Taking care of them, giving them a home, was the only way I could make it up to Peter. I had failed him, but I couldn’t fail his sons.”
“And you have not failed them. You’ve given them love, security, and a future. You’ve done more than anyone could have asked for.”
Frances felt like she was repeating herself over and over again, but it was not getting through to him.
He was set in his ways, blaming himself so harshly.
Christopher’s shoulders slumped, and he leaned back against the sofa. “I’ve tried, but now this has happened. If I had been a better brother, none of this would have happened.”
“You were a child yourself when all of this started,” Frances said softly but firmly. “You couldn’t have known what would happen, and you did everything you could with the knowledge you had. Peter made his own choices, and he found happiness with Lydia. You can’t carry the burden of their decisions alone.”
Christopher closed his eyes, leaning into her touch as if drawing comfort from her words. “I feel like I owe it to Peter to make sure they have everything. That’s why I’ve decided the dukedom must go to Edwin. I don’t want to bring another child into this world only to feel like I’m failing them too.”
Frances paused at his confession. It took her a moment to gather herself, as this was something that impacted her as well.
“Christopher,” she began gently. “If you don’t want more children, I will respect that. But don’t let guilt be the reason you make that decision. Guilt is never a good motive behind such a choice.”
She paused, searching his eyes for any sign of understanding. “You’ve built a beautiful family with the twins. They are happy and loved because of you. But don’t deprive yourself of the possibility of having your own child out of fear of repeating the past. You deserve to have the family you want.”
Christopher looked at her.“As usual, you are being far too optimistic. Do you really think it’s possible? To have a family without repeating the mistakes of the past?”
“I believe that we learn from our experiences, and we grow from them. You are not your mother or your father. You are Christopher Grant, a man who loves deeply and protects fiercely.”
“How is it that you have this opinion of me, even now?” He searched her eyes for any morsel of truth.
“Am I not supposed to?” she countered. “You have given me no reason to believe otherwise.”
“But you should be angry at me. I am the man of the house, and this incident has happened under my watch. I am the only one to blame for it.”
As he said the words, Frances had a sudden epiphany about his upbringing. She could see clearly now how he had been raised in a strict household, one that did not have room for mistakes.
