“Lady Nancy, you look as beautiful as ever.”
Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as she willed herself to remain calm. It was Lord Baker, which meant that Benedict was close by.
“Lady Augusta,” he greeted when she looked at him. She wished he were not so cautious around her. His eyes were shifty as he looked everywhere but at her, a sad smile on his lips that told her all she needed to know.
Did he pity her? She did not need his pity.
“Lord Baker,”where is he? Please, tell me where he is.“It’s lovely to see you again,” she said instead, forcing a smile. She would not let her heart control her until it had ravaged her and there was nothing left of her but a shell. She wouldn’t be her mother.
Matthew smiled sadly once again before he turned to speak with Nancy, his face morphing as he offered a real smile to her.
Her eyes scouted through the crowds, unable to stop herself from searching for him no matter how much she disappointed herself for being so weak.
Her lips turned down in a frown as her eyes landed on Lord Colin. She followed him with her gaze, curious to see where he’s headed and desperate for a distraction.
She gasped lightly as he changed his direction, his steps intentional, the grin he always wore whenever he found his next conquest set on his face as he made his way towards a naive, unsuspecting lady.
Her stomach turned and nausea settled in her throat as she glared at him in disgust. Lord Colin was by no means a man to be disgusted by, judging off physical appearances. He was quite a handsome man, which was what made it so easy for him to get these young ladies who thought themselves to be special.
Despite the growing disgust in her gut as she watched him, Augusta forced her eyes away from his person. She would no longer interfere in his plans.
What’s the point anyway? I have no real power to stop him for good, even if I wanted to.
Lord Colin would forever go on to have his fun. There was only so much she could do to put an end to it. Young ladies would have to stay with their mamas or have the sense to avoid him if they ever wanted to survive. But that was a far cry from happening and he would continue to find new prey.
There are worse men out there than him, anyway.
She snorted humorlessly, ignoring the weird looks from the ladies beside her. She was in no mood to entertain the judgment of members of the ton. She’d met one and had all the while, considered to be sweet and unassuming. He’d turned out to be worse than Lord Colin could ever hope to be.
There was nothing for her to do anymore. She was a phony.I have failed you, mama. How can I protect these girls like I promised I would when I couldn’t even protect myself?
A hand wrapped around hers, pulling her away from the melancholy that swirled around in her brain, taking roots everywhere until she couldn’t muster the strength to pretend. Her breath came out in pants, her eyes blurring.
I can’t do this… I can’t do this.
She swiveled around desperately, not caring that she made for such a sight. She needed to find the nearest exit. She needed to go home and hide away from her failures.
The hand tightened around hers, nails digging into her wrists. The pain jolted her back to the present and she looked back to find Nancy. Her eyes were wide with concern, her lips moving as she mouthed words Augusta couldn’t hear.
Augusta strained to escape the anxiety that had suddenly overtaken her and blinked rapidly as her sister fully came into focus, the words finally reaching her.
“Are you all right, Augusta? You seem a little out of it,” she asked her, patting the back of her palm. “Do you wish to go out for fresh air?”
Augusta cleared her throat softly, remembering herself. She shook her head slightly. “No, I’m all right. Was just searching for someone.”
She stood nervously as her sister studied her, her eyes roaming over her body. The last thing she wanted to do was to speak about the reason for her questionable behaviour. So far, her family seemed to have assumed that she’d simply called off her courtship with Benedict because she did not care to marry and she was fine with that narrative.
Silence fell between them for a moment before Nancy nodded, taking her words as truth. “I don’t suppose the person you’re searching for is Lord Colin, is it? Because he’s right there with yet another lady.”
Without looking at where her sister pointed, she shrugged. “So what?”
Nancy’s brows raised, her eyes wide with disbelief and her lips falling open. “What?”
Augusta opened her mouth to repeat what she’d told herself earlier but no words came out. The flicker of disappointment in Nancy’s eyes was too much to bear. She was ashamed and disappointed in herself too but partly for different reasons.
Nancy’s disbelieving gaze turned to concern as she looked from Augusta to where Lord Colin stood with the lady. Augusta’s resolve quickly melted and she spun on her feet, facing the same direction.
The lady appeared to only have stepped out of the schoolroom. She had no experience in dealing with men like Lord Colin. Her eyes were glazed over, her giggles uncontrollable as she listened to whatever it was Lord Colin whispered to her.
