“Perhaps you are more shocked than I thought you would be,” he frowned suddenly and looked down at her, the sincerity in his gaze, clear as day for her to see. “Lady Augusta, I truly hope you will believe me when I say I mean nothing untoward. I only wish that you would try to get to know me better. If you don’t wish to have anything to do with me after that, I will leave you be. However, I certainly hope I will be given the chance to court you. Or am I too late?”
Augusta knew his question was alluding to Benedict’s courtship, which now no longer existed after the embarrassing confession she’d made. She shook her head.
“It isn’t too late,” she said quietly even as her mind warred with her to say otherwise. She hurried on before he could get any ideas. “I am flattered by your attentions, Your Grace, yet I fear there are circumstances that do not permit me the luxury of a courtship right now.”
Understanding flashed across his eyes and they turned soft. “I see you’ve had your heart broken, haven’t you?”
Once again, she was taken aback by his bluntness. She stifled a chuckle, finding it refreshing. This strange man whom she’d only seen in the distance and had never spoken to, yet she knew that had things been different, they would have been great friends. Unfortunately, no matter how much she wished it to be different, he was a stranger still.
She sighed, putting up a wall between them. The last time she’d been free with her emotions, she’d ended up hurt. “I do not wish to discuss this matter, I’m afraid.”
“Of course, I apologize for overstepping.”
“Thank you, Your Grace.”
Augusta wished he was the one she’d given her heart. Perhaps she would’ve been spared the pain she felt now.
As if she’d summoned him with her thought, her eyes flashed to the side. She caught stern eyes staring back at her with a frown. She ached to pull away from Lord Trilby, guilt eating at her as her heart beat faster.
Why do you feel guilt? I have done nothing wrong.
It was the first time she was seeing him after their courtship ended and although she’d indeed done nothing wrong, she couldn’t stop the deep feeling of guilt as those intense brown eyes bored into hers.
Why does the visible anger written all over his face make me want to hide away?His hands were balled into fists as he watched them.
She scoffed angrily.What right does he have to make me feel this way? I should be mad at him, not hiding from his anger.
She raised her head in defiance as she turned to her dance partner, trying to focus on him instead just as the music came to an end.
Augusta’s head whipped sideways as Lord Trilby took her back to her family, but he was nowhere to be found. The space he once stood remained empty like the gaping hole he’d left in her heart. She turned away, all hopes suddenly lost. He would never be hers.
CHAPTER23
Benedict kept his eyes pinned on the door of the library as he took another sip from the glass he’d had in hand all evening. He regretted ever agreeing to attend the dinner party, however, there was nothing he could do now but wait.
“Good lord, Benedict. I didn’t realize it was this bad that we needed to hide out here for the rest of the evening,” Matthew stated worriedly, drawing his attention from the door.
“You need not be here with me, Matthew. I assure you, I’m capable of brooding in silence and I have no need for company.”
He slammed his glass down on the table, the force sending the golden liquid sloshing all around, some drops landing on the beautiful mahogany table. He was being hard on his friend who had done nothing but be kind to him and worry about him, but he couldn’t help it.
Benedict was not quite himself. Thoughts of Augusta occupied his head, swooshing around much like the drink in his glass.
“Ah, but I cannot leave you here to your own devise. You need a friend to speak with and brood with. you would do the same for me,” Matthew insisted, moving to sit by his side.
“I don’t brood.”
A lazy raise of Mattthew’s signified that it was indeed the opposite.
Is this what has become of me? Sitting around in the dark and private corners of libraries, and feeling sorry for myself?
He found it laughable that he hadn’t been this way with Juliet’s betrayal, choosing instead to carry on and find an escape from the scandal that was sure to ensue, only angered by the fact that she’d broken his trust when she knew him to not be one to trust easily.
However, with Augusta, she hadn’t broken his trust. He’d been unable to give her what she wanted. He was the scoundrel who’d broken her heart and let her walk away from him with the terrible thoughts of him forming in her head.
“I should’ve given her what she wanted,” he lamented before he could stop himself. “If only I could be the man she wants, but I cannot, Matthew.”
The alcohol had begun to loosen his tongue. Frustration pricked him as his gaze focused on his concerned friend. With a sigh, he shrugged. Perhaps it was good that he had Matthew here with him to drink with him since he already knew what happened. There was no point in pretending like he was fine when he wasn’t.
