Augusta narrowed her eyes as she stared at him, analyzing his reaction.What does no harm done, mean?If he wasn’t being corrupted, did that mean that he had done some of the things he said were vulgar in the book… or likely worse?
“Have you courted anyone before?” she asked lightly, although what she wanted to ask him in truth, was if he had done something similar to that.
She swallowed the heaviness down her throat as she waited for him to answer.Did he have a lover? Had he had one before now?
A bitter feeling traveled through her and she frowned as she tried to figure out what it was. Her eyes widened.Am I jealous?
She turned her gaze away from him, worried he would see what she was thinking if he looked into her eyes. Why am I jealous?
For the life of her, she could not understand why the feeling elicited such sadness in her.
“I have courted someone once,” he said, boring into her thoughts. “I am surprised you did not know… it was a rather interesting topic of conversation for a while.
Augusta struggled to keep her emotions off her face. She had been right after all. He had courted some other woman and perhaps they had done some of the things written in the book. That would explain why he thought he was about corruption.
She frowned. “Is that so… pardon me. I do not much care for the gossips of the ton unless it involves a rake to look out for. I must have missed the mention of you.”
“Truly? Well I suppose people were more discreet considering my status. It did not exactly go well, my courtship,” he smiled.
His words silenced the thoughts running through my mind. His face had taken on a certain serious quality that she did not care to see there. Something terrible must have happened to put an end to their courtship, but what?
“Is it because you went too far?” she asked him, her tone cautious.
Benedict cocked his head to the side, regarding her. He looked from the book to her, his expression phasing through several emotions so quickly that she was unable to keep up with it.
“Oh my goodness! I’m sorry, my lady. I did not quite realize what you meant when you spoke of courtship but that wasn’t what I was saying,” he said, ears burning from embarrassment. “When I said that, what I meant was that I just had someone whom I thought I was going to marry but it didn’t quite turn out the way I expected it to.”
“Oh,” she said, unable to say anything more. She hoped he did not realize how relieved she sounded when he explained himself or that he had at the very least, chalked it to her confusion about what it was he spoke of.
They both stared at each other in silence for a moment before he broke out into laughter. She joined him only moments later.
“I do apologize for the absurdity of my thoughts. I cannot believe I thought that at all,” she said.
“Oh, it is quite all right. I should have known that was what you meant when you spoke of not wanting to corrupt me. I do appreciate your effort to keep my mind free from this corruption, however,” he said, still laughing.
“So, why did you say you would not be corrupted if you didn’t go to such lengths with the lady you previously courted?” she asked, the thought stamped in her mind no matter how much she tried to shake it off.
His face turned a dark shade of red as he scratched the back of his neck looking everywhere but at her. He cleared his throat when she did nothing but stare at him.
“I had been instructed on how it should go and what was expected to happen so I would not be at a loss when it was time for us to…” he broke off, not saying anything further.
Augusta nodded rapidly. She did not need him to explain any more than that. Her own cheeks brightened as well as they struggled to overcome the awkwardness of the situation, although she found it funny still, how easily he blushed just from sharing those words. Perhaps there was much still to corrupt in him.
She picked up a cracker, her eyes fixed on him as he mirrored her action. She smiled, not looking away when he stared at her.
I do not dislike you.
The thought shocked her but she knew it to be true. Unlike with other mean, spending time with him was so much more interesting. She did not have to worry about his intentions as they seemed to be honorable, no matter how fake their courtship was.
She was able to be herself around him, able to share the parts of him that she only allowed the members of her family to see, and she was able to speak with him and enjoy their conversations and their silent moments.
CHAPTER9
Another few days passed and Benedict found himself preparing the saddle on the horse tied up in front of him while feeding it an apple. After their conversation about books during their last date, Augusta had asked him what he liked to do himself, when he was not busy with work.
Although he was not a man much given to hobbies, he did have a fondness for horse riding. He loved the feeling of freedom as he went as fast as he could while maintaining the safety limit.
Augusta had been quite intrigued with the idea, which was why he was preparing the horses for them.
