“I believe you should be asking the kind of marriage I hope for them to avoid,” she said. “I do not pretend to believe that all marriages are perfect and that they would be happy all the time, however, I certainly hope they do not have to go through tumultuous marriages with partners that do not appreciate them or the sacrifices that they make.”
Benedict nodded. He could see how that would be helpful to the ladies of the ton. He could not pretend to be blind to the terrible situations some women suffer in their marriages.
“There is one flaw in your plan,” he said. “How can you truly tell a man who absolutely intends to be there for you and treat you well from one who will be like the men in your scenario?”
Her eyes cut to him. Although they were filled with anger, he did not think it was directed at him. “They make it quite obvious to pick them out even in a crowded room. Men like Lord Colin are always so loud, so quick to promise you happiness, so quick to require something of you or wish to be in a secluded area with you to speak of their love. They take their fun and run off, completely abandoning the woman behind to take care of the remnants of her heart that has been ruined, coupled with her modesty.
“Men like him will make for terrible husbands even when they finally marry. They settle for all of the wrong reasons, choosing only based on physical beauty and nothing more. And when beauty fades, they look elsewhere for their happiness. What is a woman to do in situations like that save to stay home and continue to take whatever crumbs are offered?”
Benedict frowned. He did not know whether she noticed it herself but her voice had been shaky in the middle of her speech. She had spoken with so much passion in every word she uttered.
“Have you, by chance, experienced men like that, Lady Augusta?” he asked with all seriousness.
Augusta paused, looking straight at him. Her mouth opened over and over again but no words were uttered. She looked away from him and at the lake as they made their way towards it.
“I believe I have told you already that it is no business of yours, Your Grace,” she uttered, her voice calm.
Benedict frowned. He did not like the way she always seemed to change whenever he asked her about it. Thoughts of what might have been would continuously plague his mind until he found out what exactly had happened, still he knew not to push her as that would only make her run away from him.
His jaw ticked as he thought about it. There was no reason why he should be so bothered by the thought of not having her in his life to carry on with this charade that they both agreed upon and yet, he did.
Benedict was stunned with himself. He could not fathom why he was so invested in finding out what had happened. He was, normally not interested in finding getting to know people, no matter how intriguing their lives were.So, why her?
“What do you think of me, Lady Augusta?” he asked her suddenly breaking the silence.
She reared back, shocked by his question. Her eyes ran over him, stopping at his face and she blushed, looking away from him. “I do not understand what you mean by that.”
Benedict grinned as he studied the red that stained her cheeks. Her tone was small, taking on a hint of embarrassment different from the one she had shown him right after she got up from the pianoforte. She looked innocent now, like the women she always sought to protect.
In the time he had known her, she had always shown herself to be strong and in need of no protection herself, and although he had been angered by her and worried about her, there had been no time where he had thought of her as young and naïve.
She was much more than she allowed anyone see, that much had become clear to him.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Lady Augusta,” he said quietly, his tone softer than it had been only moments ago. “I simply mean to ask if you loop me in with these men you tell women to be wary of or if you believe I can be better than that.”
He watched as she fiddled with her parasol and looked, kicking little pebbles with her shoes. She was beautiful in the sunlight, more than the way she had the night of the ball. The yellow gown she wore sat perfectly on her tall form. He wanted to take her hands in his.
He cleared his throat and looked away, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest.
“I do not know what to think of you,” she said suddenly, her soft voice carrying past his thoughts to him. “You vex me so much. I don’t believe there’s ever been longer than a moment when I am not vexed by you, however, you do not strike me as one so selfish.”
Benedict considered her words and nodded. Perhaps she did indeed know what she was doing. Still, he was not satisfied with the trajectory of her thoughts.
"You're correct to admit you don't know what to think of me. Rakes don't conform to a single mold. Some are openly proud of their ways, while others prefer to keep it quiet. Anyone could fall into the categories you've grouped them under without necessarily embodying those traits," he explained.
"What if a man is genuinely enamored by a lady and wishes to make her his wife, but your meddling prevents them from being together? Can you say with absolute certainty that all the women you believed needed saving from rakes truly did? Is there none whose intentions you might have misunderstood, consequently costing them potential relationships?" he inquired.
“I assure you, Your Grace, I do not believe there is such a one,” she said without thought.
Benedict sighed. “Perhaps you could consider truly thinking about it before you say so.”
“Do you simply wish me to be wrong to assuage whatever guilt you might have felt from the way you spoke last night?” she asked, her eyes alit with flames.
“It is as I said to you last night. I am quite capable of protecting my sister from anyone I don’t deem acceptable and there is no way Lord Colin would have been considered respectable for my sister,” he said adamantly.
Although he constantly sought to protect her, he knew there was no way that she would allow such a man be so close to her, not when he was so carefree with his charms and obviously cared not for propriety.
Augusta closed her parasol when they got to a shade and sighed. “You don’t have to go through with this false courtship, you know.”
