“One moment, I was laughing and talking with my friends, the next, my eyes felt heavier than lead. Next thing I know, I’m surrounded by all your worried faces, and I’m on the floor. What a bother.”
The dowager smiled and changed the topic to Barbara’s progress in her studies. Selina watched the two women speaking, feeling uncomfortable with the whole situation, and the dowager’s offhanded reaction to it. She kept her fears to herself, though.
Instead, she thought about her kiss with Morgan and her face blossomed red instantly. Fortunately, the two other women were engrossed in conversation and didn’t notice.
He had kissed her and admitted that he loved her deeply. His admission of love still left Selina feeling lightheaded with euphoria. It also made her feel deeply guilty.
The time had come for her to tell Morgan the truth. Had it not been for the dowager fainting, she had planned to do so the night of the ball. She knew that deep in her heart she loved him too, and she was willing to take her chances.
“Oh yes, I failed to mention, my dear.” Selina snapped up at the sound of the dowager’s kindly voice. “I got a note earlier from the steward at Brigpool. The repairs have now been completed, and the house is once more habitable for us to return.”
An overwhelming sadness overcame Selina immediately. While she knew that their time in Wynten was temporary, she had not expected the repairs to progress as speedily as they had done.
Not only was she very fond of Barbara, she had come to enjoy the time she spent with Morgan as well. She knew that she had only a little opportunity to tell him the truth before leaving. When she left with the dowager, she doubted if she would have the courage to come clean again to Morgan again.
Barbara sounded distant to Selina as she asked the dowager about Brigpool, and Selina struggled to listen as she thought about the reality of leaving Morgan.
CHAPTER21
Several days passed and Selina struggled to talk to Morgan. She kept looking for a chance to talk to him, but he was nowhere to be found.
When she asked the dowager about his unexpected disappearance, she replied that he had left a note stating that he would be away from home for a few days on business.
The timing seemed rather inconvenient for Selina, but she decided to wait for Morgan to return home. The dowager was getting ready to depart, and she had run out of time.
Fortunately, she had found out when Morgan would return and that night, she stayed up waiting for him. She sat in the drawing room with a book in hand, but struggled to make sense of the pages in the book.
She had started to doze off when she heard the neighing of horses and the sound of wheels as a carriage pulled into the driveway. Selina jumped out of the seat and looked out the window, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was Morgan’s.
Swallowing her fear, she set down her book and rushed out of the drawing room towards the entrance to meet Morgan.
Selina’s heart beat like a drum in her chest, threatening to leap out of her mouth as she waited impatiently for Morgan. She resisted the urge to turn around and run away, deciding to meet her fate head-on.
The front door sprang open and crashed closed, making Selina jump in shock. Morgan thundered past her without even a greeting, and her mouth went dry.
He looked furious as he walked past her and up the stairs, an open letter in one hand. While he was an intense man who always looked angry to the unobservant eye, Selina had never seen him look so furious.
She followed behind him at a distance, but stopped short when he slammed the study door shut. She watched the closed door with trepidation, her courage seeping out and disappearing completely.
Morgan was a good man and she had grown to love him. Because of this, she would not rest until she had told him the truth, no matter how much it would hurt her to do so.
Now, as the days they were scheduled to return to the Brigpool Estate drew nearer, Selina was resolved in her heart to wait and confess her actions. She doubted she would be able to continue with her life as usual until she did so.
Somewhere in her mind, she fought with the desire to flee and hide away underneath the covers. She would be a coward to do so but wasn’t it better to be a coward than for her to lose the man she loved when she told him the truth.
There had been so many opportunities for Selina to tell him, maybe he would have understood better, but instead, she had waited until now to do so. Now when it would seem like she had deceived her way into his heart.
Her mind began to play the conversation they had where he confessed her love to her but she brushed it all away. Instead of the warmth she should feel when she thought of his confession, her mind was plagued with betrayal and her heart hurt.
No, she would not run away like a coward as it would only make things worse when the truth finally came out. Instead, she would face her fears now and leave the decision on what to do for later.
“Your Grace?” Selina said as she reached the Duke who was just about to head up to his room. He looked up from the gloves he was trying to take off and looked at her, a frown on his face as he did.
She exhaled a shaky breath as she watched his expression. He looked annoyed to see her and she did not understand why. Was he angry that she had stopped him so late when he should be resting? When she should be asleep in her room? Was there something else? Had he figured out the truth for himself?
She shook her head. Surely there was no way he had figured it out. She doubted he would have let her stay as he had. Perhaps he was just tired and the frown on his face was an expression of his tiredness.
“May I speak with you, Your Grace? It will only be a moment.” Perhaps longer if he chose to question her, less if he drove her away. She could only wish he would be willing to listen to everything she had to say.
