Selina felt like shackles were being cast off from her and the more they danced, the lighter she moved. She knew she was smiling, and she could see Morgan smiling too. Very few things looked more beautiful than a genuine smile on Morgan’s face.
Unlike their first dance, Selina and Morgan danced without precaution. This time, they allowed themselves to be in the moment, and to enjoy it as much as was possible.
Selina loved the playful banter that was going on with Morgan as they danced. It was something that she had come to get used to and now it was something that calmed her.
This was the perfect night for Selina. All her fears of getting discovered disappeared. The crowd disappeared. Everything disappeared but Morgan. Selina wanted to scream for joy. She felt like she had been hiding her whole life. She was tired of hiding.
Morgan opened his arm and twirled her away in a sweep of skirts and fabric. Selina spun until her grip on Morgan’s outstretched arm grew taut, like a fish caught on a line.
Smiling, she spun back into his waiting arms. Her smile vanished immediately mid-spin and she clattered into a confused Morgan.
With a loud ringing in her ears, Selina turned around wildly. She scanned the crowd as her heart roared like an angry sea in her chest. She could hear the pulsations in her temple as she turned her head from side to side.
Morgan’s worried voice sounded distant as he asked what the matter was. Selina ignored his query, searching the crowd fearfully. Cold sweat gathered on her forehead, and she felt tingling in her fingertips.
She knew what she had seen as she spun. She was certain of it. Somewhere in the sea of faces, amongst the happy nobility of London society, Selina had seen the hard face of her father.
She stopped dancing completely as she searched the crowd furtively. She couldn’t find him anymore, but she knew what she had seen. She was certain she had seen her father.
With a sudden rush, the sounds of the ballroom returned, loudest of which was Morgan’s concerned voice.
“Selina? Can you hear me? What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Morgan glanced around, his face knotted with worry. “What is it? Are you well?”
Selina was too shaken to answer any of Morgan’s questions. Here, she thought she had relaxed, but maybe she was a lot tenser than she had originally thought.
“Selina? Would you like to rest? Perhaps you should take a seat for a little while.” Selina noticed that Morgan held her arm protectively and she loved how it felt.
“Yes,” Selina finally replied. “I believe some rest will do me a world of good. Thank you, Your Grace.”
“Of course. Right this way.” Morgan led her away from the dance floor towards an empty table near the bar. “Wait right here. Let me get you something to drink and calm your nerves.”
As Selina watched Morgan head for the bar, she scanned the crowd again. She felt the room grow smaller and it suffocated her. She knew she couldn’t relax if she stayed in the ballroom and decided to head outside.
She got up and walked in a beeline for the doors, keeping her head low as she did so. She tried not to imagine how upset Morgan would be when he returned to see her seat empty.
She walked down the stairs and out of the house, enjoying the cool night breeze that stung her face immediately she was outside. She wrapped her shawl around her shoulders, then turned to the footpath that led towards the gardens.
Selina could still hear the music and voices from inside the hall, but shuddered at the thought of returning to the room.
Selina was terrified. She had no idea whether she had been spotted and that worried her deeply. She had been thinking that her past was too close since she arrived in London, and it had proven to be so.
Her anxiety increased as she settled on a stone bench.What if it wasn’t just a figment of my imagination? What if my father really was in that room?She had no way of being sure and that was what drove her to madness.
She had no idea what she would do if he saw her and approached her. How could she navigate such a scene with Morgan and the Dowager Duchess present?
All her lies had finally caught up with her, and Selina felt like she had spun a web that had become too tangled for her to climb out of. Lie after lie after lie, and now, she didn’t even know what the truth looked like anymore.
Painfully, she had finally been happy. In that moment with Morgan, she had been genuinely happy. And yet, that happiness had been snatched cruelly away from her, ripped out of her chest mercilessly. Selina covered her head in her hands and stifled the urge to wail.
A branch broke to her right and she heard the loud thud of a boot scrunching on dirt. She jumped up in alarm, her eyes wide with fear. The towering figure stopped in place with two glasses in hand. Morgan.
“I’m sorry for startling you,” Morgan said without coming closer. “I went to find you a drink, but I noticed you coming out here. I’m sorry I followed you, but I was worried and needed to check on you.”
Selina breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed her eyes. “I’m fine, Your Grace. I appreciate your concern.”
Morgan nodded and looked around. “I would like to accompany you, if you don’t mind? Seeing how you are all alone, of course.”
Selina looked around as well and thought about his offer. It was a well moonlit night and while she needed to be alone, she could do with Morgan’s company as well.
