What Morgan didn’t understand was that Selina was not angry with him as he thought she was. Instead, she was just very hurt by his distrust of her. For the life of her, though, she could not understand why it bothered her at all.
Selina was very aware that the path she treaded was a very dangerous one. And she wished she could understand half the thoughts that went flying around in her head.
Morgan stepped back and scratched the back of his head. He seemed calmer and more relaxed than he had been a few minutes ago. “You somehow know how to rile me up, don’t you? I genuinely came here to apologize to you, and yet, here we are. Fighting again.
“Still, I meant it when I said I was sorry. Truthfully, I know how much you care for my sister. And yes, you’re right. I should have trusted you as well.”
As Morgan spoke sheepishly, stumbling through his apology, Selina felt guilty once again. Should Morgan have trusted her though? All she had done since meeting him and his family was lie to them about her past.
She suppressed the urge to cry, pretending to pick something out of her eyes. It was obvious to Selina that Morgan was trying and she hated how much he was trying, when all she had done in return was be dishonest.
It hit her why she ached for him. Hit her why she yearned for him and avoided him as much as she had been doing. She was beginning to fall for him, and the realization rocked her very foundations.
The guilt ate her up without mercy. She had no right to fall for him when everything he knew about her was an utter fabrication. How could she develop feelings for a man who knew a shadow? She had no right.
Her thoughts shook her and she struggled to hold back the tears. She was a fraud and yet… Morgan put in effort. She didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve any of them. Selina stepped back, shaking her head slowly.
“Selina?” Morgan stepped forward, lines of worry drawn all over his face.
Hearing him say her given name hit Selina hard in her chest. She swallowed heavily, blinked back tears, and looked down on the floor.
“I will continue my lessons with Barbara. I also forgive you for your past behavior, but you have to show me the respect I deserve henceforth.”
Morgan stopped approaching her, and his hands fell to his side. Before he could make a reply to Selina, though, she turned around, and rushed out of the library, leaving Morgan alone with a startled look on his face.
* * *
Morgan watched Selina dart out of the room with a heavy feeling in his chest. It felt sick to see her go, and not be able to do anything about it.
We were just about to kiss…
Morgan stood stunned, thinking of everything that had been happening to him since Selina had come into his life. He thought about why Arthur’s flirtatious gimmicks had chafed him. He remembered how jealous he had felt when the men of the Ton ignored their partners to stare at Selina as she walked past at the ball.
He was falling for her. No, he was in love with her. This was what the great poets and authors spoke about in the classics. Morgan was convinced without a doubt, thatthiswas what love truly felt like.
The way she always stood up to him, the way she lit up every room she stepped into. His grandmother had seen it, Barbara had seen it too. Even Arthur, in his obnoxious way, had seen it as well.
Everyone had been completely taken over by Selina. Morgan just happened to be late to the party. And now, realization struck him hard. He had always liked her. From the first minute he saw her.
He thought back to how he had almost kissed her some moments ago. She had looked so inviting and beautiful, Morgan had forgotten what he was upset about in the first place.
Watching her run away amidst powerful emotions he couldn’t identify, Morgan was left wondering what to make of this thing he shared with Selina.
He knew now that it was personally deceptive to act as though there was nothing between them. That lie had been exposed and it was no use pretending further.
Morgan couldn’t imagine how difficult it was for Selina to handle everything that was happening. Her getting abandoned at the altar was sure to make everything extra hard for her.
Morgan also knew that it was going to be difficult for her to trust anyone again. Especially him, giving how he had treated her. It explained why she ran away as swiftly as she did.
It was impossible to deny how terrified his feelings for Selina made him. Never before had he allowed his emotions to lead him, making him irrational.
This was uncharted seas for Morgan and he didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He had no one to go to for advice as Arthur was all the way back in Wynten. Morgan had no idea how long he could keep his feelings bottled up.
Morgan finally stepped out of the library. As he shut the door behind him, he wondered if apologizing to Selina was worth the world of confusion he now found himself in.
* * *
Selina rushed to her room, trying hard to blank out the thoughts that threatened to rip out her sanity.
