“When I asked what it was, she simply told me it was something that all women went through. I remember distinctly how I thought back then that it was such a scary thing to experience.
“After she finished describing what it was and how it affected women, I felt for her and all who went through the same. That’s why it’s so easy for me to talk to women. I understand their pain and I can relate to what they have been through and what they go through.”
“Well, you’re a luckier man than I am. I didn’t have anyone ever sit me down and talk to me about… that.” Morgan cringed. He leaned back in his seat and stared at the ceiling with a bitter look.
“You know, I was never really that close to my mother. I was always busy with some governess or instructor, learning, studying, training. I did not exactly get to run around like you did.
“Of course, I didn’t know what it was when I saw the blood on Barbara’s bed,” Morgan said. “I have only heard of women’s flow in passing and never really paid much attention to it. I had no idea that was what it was like.”
Arthur sighed. “Regardless. That’s no excuse for how cruelly you treated Ms. Knight. I do believe that you did not have a clue about what you saw. However, you could have been a bit calmer in that situation and assessed things properly.
“With all due respect, I have seen Ms. Knight with our beloved Barbara. I strongly doubt that she would even consider hurting that sweet child, seeing how fond of her she really is.
“I know it’s Barbara, and I know the love you have for her. Regardless, you went overboard with your reaction. I hate to have to tell you this, but it’s the truth, and I won’t be much good to you as a friend if I could not tell you such unsavory truths.”
Morgan groaned. The shame he had been feeling earlier returned with force. Arthur was right. There was no excuse for acting so poorly.
Morgan was convinced that if Arthur had seen Selina’s face, knotted in pain as it was, that Arthur would have never forgiven him. He did not know if he could ever even forgive himself.
“What do you think I should do? How do I fix this?” Morgan tore his eyes away from the ceiling and turned to look at Arthur.
Arthur returned his gaze as coolly as only he had ever been able to do. “I think the next course of action here is quite obvious. We — well, you — have to apologize to Ms. Knight, and hope she accepts. Because as it stands, I can’t imagine she wants to keep working here much longer.”
“I knew you were going to say that. Trust me, I would love to apologize to her and tell her how sorry I am for how I treated her. However, as you very well know, I have never apologized for anything before. I have no idea how to go about this.”
Arthur gave Morgan a sympathetic look. “I hear you. Really, I do. This is something I would have liked to do for you, on your behalf, but I think it would carry more meaning if you did this yourself. I’m sorry, my friend, this is your burden to bear.
However,” Arthur continued, raising a hand to quiet Morgan who had begun to speak. “I believe that you stand a better chance of apologizing now that we will be going to London.”
Morgan raised an eyebrow, confusion written all over his face. “London? Why would we be going to —” And then it hit him. He and Arthur had some business to attend to and were supposed to travel soon to the big city.
His mind had been completely occupied with Selina and other matters for so long, he had forgotten some important details.
Arthur nodded, seeing that his friend remembered. “We have business to attend to there, and I know how much the Dowager Duchess enjoys being at the capital. She loves visiting London outside of the Season and has a lot of friends there as well.
“We could convince her to come with us, towing Selina along with her. The trip should present an opportunity for you to apologize to Selina, and also show her a different version of you. The version that no one sees.”
Morgan considered what Arthur said deeply. It sounded like a very good plan, one that could work. Still, he had no idea how to go about it. He knew he could not just mumble out words. He had to mean it too. Selina had to know that he meant it.
Morgan remembered Selina’s face once again and felt his heart bleed. And then, it hit him. He hated seeing her like that. He hated that he was the one who caused her pain. He never wanted to ever see her in so much pain, ever again.
Especially after all she had told him about her past. The last thing she needed was more pain, and that was all Morgan had given her since they had met.
Belatedly, Morgan realized that Arthur had continued speaking about their plans for the London trip. He nodded slowly, pretending to be paying attention when, in reality, his mind was a million miles away.
CHAPTER17
Three days after her unsavory encounter with Morgan, Selina realized that she still couldn’t stand the sight of the man. Even though she could feel his eyes on her, she waited until he wasn’t looking to look back at him.
Watching him speaking to Barbara beside the second carriage, she felt her stomach twist into various shapes. It wasn’t as much fear of Morgan as it was repulsion at how mean he had been to her, and without just cause.
While she would have liked to be with Barbara for the long ride to London, Selina could not bring herself to share the same carriage as Morgan.
It was so bad that if they had needed to all use one carriage, she was willing to feign an illness to avoid the trip. Whatever it was that constantly put him in such a foul temper, Selina did not want any part in it.
One thing that chaffed her about the incident was the fact that she had had remarkable words to say about Morgan when the Dowager Duchess had asked some days ago.
And yet, the first chance he got to be a foul man, he grabbed it with both hands. Selina could not imagine telling the Dowager Duchess what Morgan had done to her.
