“It would be my pleasure to do so, Lady Barbara,” Selina said truthfully. She was willing to do whatever Barbara wanted as long as it was within logic and would make her happy. The girl had had enough sadness in her life. Now it was time for her to do the things she loved.
“Would you join us to play a song as well, grandmother?” she asked Grace, who had finally abandoned whatever had her so distracted earlier and was currently focused on the pair and their discussion.
“Of course, my darling girl. Mind you, it has been a long time since I sat down in front of a pianoforte. These hands are not what they used to be and it would take some getting used to.” Grace laughed as she held her hands up.
“I am certain you will do just fine, Your Grace. You have carried on wonderfully since I have known you after all.”
Selina meant every word. She had sometimes wondered if perhaps she would grow old and frail before the Dowager Duchess allowed herself to do the same with how she carried on with so much youth and vigor.
“Why, thank you, Miss Knight. You always know the right things to say.”
“Where did you learn how to play like that?” Barbara turned to Selina once again. She could see how excited she was, with stars in her eyes.
“It was my mother who taught me how to play.”
Selina was happy to share that little information. Although she was not often willing to talk about her mother, Selina knew how her mother felt about music and being able to speak about her like this brought a whole other feeling of joy to her.
“Oh. Maybe if my mother had lived, she would have been the one to teach me how to play the pianoforte,” Barbara said, her voice dropping in pitch.
“Do you think that my mother would be proud of me right now? Now that I’m learning the pianoforte and taking my lessons seriously?” Barbara asked suddenly in a small voice.
In the days since Selina had come to know the young lady, many words resonated in her mind when she tried to describe the girl. Barbara was a strong girl, inquisitive and caring.
The one thing Selina had never seen or heard from the girl was the vulnerability in her voice and the quietness with which she asked the question. It made her wish that she could wrap her arms around her and comfort her.
She opened and closed her hands repeatedly to take away the clammy feeling she was getting as she refrained from running her hands through the young girl’s hair in comfort.
“Of course, Lady Barbara. Your mother would have been very proud of you. You are learning very quickly.”
She remembered how it had been when her mother taught her. It had taken longer than it probably did for other girls her age, but her mother had been exceedingly patient with her.
‘I enjoy spending this time with you, my darling girl. And I know that when you have learned, you will be so good at it, it will be very rewarding.’
Being around music always dredged up memories of her mother and although she did not mind remembering her, sometimes, it often proved difficult for her to think past that and focus on her task. Still, she pushed away the memory once again and focused on Barbara. She would do what was right for the young girl.
“When I was young, I had not learned as quickly as you are now. It took me three weeks to learn my first song.” She held up her fingers for effect, causing Barbara to smile.
“Your parents… are they… is your mother still alive?” Barbara asked her as her fingers toyed with the keys.
“Sadly, no.” Selina heaved a deep sigh. She did not want to talk about her parents.
“I am sorry for your loss.” Barbara looked up at her sadly, her hand flitting over Selina’s for a moment. “Do you still miss your mother?”
“Yes. Very much, every day,” Selina answered truthfully. What she wouldn’t give to feel the warmth of her mother’s embrace once again. If only she had known how things would turn out that day, she would have hugged her longer.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked Selina but did not wait for her to respond before speaking again.
“Truthfully, sometimes I barely remember my own parents. I see pictures of them around the house but I do not remember their smiles or smell. Everything is beginning to fade and I keep struggling to keep it with me.”
Selina struggled to find the words to offer comfort to Barbara but the girl smiled up at her once again.
“Do you want to know what I remember? In every single memory, I can recall being so happy and I can tell that they loved me so very much. I do not think I can forget that.”
Selina smiled as once again she had lurched into another memory of when she was younger.
“Selina! Slow down, I do not want you to fall and hurt yourself,” her mother shouted after a giggling Selina for the third time.
She turned to see her mom running up to her just before a pair of hands scooped her up, twirling her around. Selina giggled uncontrollably as she enjoyed the sound of air swooshing in her ears and moving through her hair.
