Daniel stood and watched as the fire destroyed it all and wished for more than anything that it would take with it the part of his mind that had inherited his father’s moods and illness. For that, he knew now, was the only way he could ever be with the one woman he loved. As it stood, he knew he could never be with her. Not in the way he longed. Never.
Chapter 20
On Monday afternoon, Penelope stood in front of her father’s manor and waited for Bridget’s carriage to arrive to take her to the Harvest Festival. Her friend’s father and siblings would already be there, having been called upon to assist with the preparations for the day.
Penelope, meanwhile, had spent the day finding a suitable outfit to wear and finally settled on a simple, white muslin gown which reached to her ankle. She’d paired it with a brown spencer jacket with brass buttons. Her hair, pinned up in a simple arrangement, was practically obscured by a straw bonnet with a brown ribbon that matched her spencer.
It was understated, yet perfectly suitable for an afternoon at the Harvest Festival. She was grateful that she’d been able to spend a few hours thinking of nothing but which gown to wear. The events had allowed her not to think of Daniel and the drinking competition which would no doubt conclude in his winning and bestowing a kiss on his chosen bride—Bridget.
At once, the smile faded from her face.
As much as I would like to continue denying it, I cannot. Seeing him kiss her will surely break my heart.It should not, as I love Bridget as if she were my own sister. But he is the one I love and knowing that his heart belongs to another, even if it is my dearest friend, is almost unbearable.
They did her no good, these thoughts. She knew that from now on she’d have to live with this ache in her heart. She needed to learn to banish those feelings back to where she’d kept them all of these years. Buried deep within her. Perhaps, if she was lucky, Daniel would take Bridget back to London with him when he returned. Then she’d not have to see them and their happiness day after day.
How awful it is that I’d rather see my best friend live far away than to see her happy beside the man who left me so long ago. And yet, to think of them together, with children to follow soon…
“Penny! Penny!” Bridget waved out of the carriage that just arrived. Penelope was so lost in her own thoughts that she never even saw it appear. She rushed forth and allowed the footman to help her up.
“I have been calling for you and calling for you! You were in a world all of your own. But I can imagine why.” Bridget winked at her.
“I was only thinking about the Harvest Festival. We had such fun last year, did we not?”
“We did. However, I’d venture to say what was on your mind was not just the Harvest Festival, but one particular young gentleman who is clearly taken with you.”
Penelope’s heart skipped a beat, as she worried that her friend knew of her true feelings for Daniel. However, Bridget soon broke into a giggle.
“Mr. Mavis surely wants to make you his Baroness. And what a good-natured young man he is. And such a good dancer! I say the matchmaker ought to make a match for herself.” She elbowed her lightly in the arm.
Penelope shook her head. “I have no such desires, as you know. I am perfectly content making matches for those around me. Seeing the joy of others gives me enough joy to sustain me.”
“And you are so very good at it! Yes, in fact, I can already see myself as the Countess at the side of Lord Carlton. Bridget, Countess of Carlton. Isn’t it grand? Faith, Penny, you should really consider Mr. Mavis for a husband. With the two of them being best friends, you and I would always be side by side just as they are. We could have such a beautiful life. A Baroness and a Countess!”
Penelope forced a smile on her face and gave a weak nod. “It is a lovely thought. But let us first enjoy ourselves at the Festival, before we make any plans for the future.”
Bridget sighed. “Very well.” She fell silent for a moment before suddenly glancing around in alarm. “Where is His Grace? Was he not to join us?”
“He was. Alas, he did not feel well. He has gone to rest so he may join us later, but I fear he will not.”
Bridget reached forward and wrapped her hand around hers. “I am sorry, Penny. It must be ever so vexing for you to be all alone without a sibling or any family to help you. I am sure you already know, but I will always be there for you, no matter what. Not just I, but my entire family. We all adore you.”
“Thank you, Bridget.” She squeezed her friend’s hand. “You are such a dear friend.”
A wave of guilt washed over her. She realized the reason Daniel wanted to marry Bridget was because he saw in her what Penelope saw. A kind, gentle girl hidden under the bright, bubbly exterior. Someone with limitless empathy who loved nothing more than her family and her animals.
She would be a wonderful Countess and an even better wife. Truth be told, Bridget, once she found her way in society, would make a much better match for Daniel than Penelope ever could. For Penelope was highly uncomfortable in the high society Daniel so shone in. She’d be awkward, silent, and withdrawn as a Countess, while Bridget would shine. Together, she and Daniel would take London by storm.
Just then, the carriage stopped and Penelope realized they had already arrived at the tavern, and Daniel and Mr. Mavis were already there, waiting. With a sigh, she gathered her nerves and made her way out of the carriage, and into what would surely be the most fateful evening of her life.
* * *
“This is by far the most delicious clanger I have ever eaten in all of my life!” Bridget declared as she bit into the savory side of the pastry. “Don’t you agree, Lord Carlton?”
“Indeed, I do! That Oxfordshire should have the best Bedfordshire clangers in England might just start a war one of these days.” Daniel chuckled and the sound filled Penelope’s heart with joy, even though at the same time she found herself upset that his emotions—good or bad—still had such a hold over her own.
“Be sure not to eat too much, Daniel!” Alistair cautioned. “The drinking contest is about to begin and you will surely fill your stomach up with too much food to be able to participate for very long. Not that I mind the lack of competition!”
Daniel shook his head. “Horsefeathers! Don’t you fret, my friend. I know exactly what I’m doing. I am lining my stomach with these delicious pastries so that I will be able to absorb the alcohol better without getting too drunk early on. You, on the other hand, have fasted all day and will surely fall off your chair much sooner than I.”
