Daniel smiled and shook his head. Even though he and the Duke had been somewhat estranged, he was the only person who’d ever been akin to a father, after the loss of his own. He could not help but hold onto those warm feelings for the man. And he did know him better than most other people, save for Penelope, who’d always been able to read him as an open book. At least once upon a time.
“It was not nostalgia. I found myself overwhelmed with… I cannot explain it.”
The Duke cleared his throat and placed both of his hands over his cane as he leaned forward.
“Overwhelmed by being back here? The memories? They haunt you still?”
Daniel hesitated and slowly shook his head. “Your Grace, you know all of my life I’ve been haunted by what my father did. The fear that the madness runs within me, too. I cannot shake it. I find myself at times unable to control my feelings. It is as though they burn within me, so hot and so raging that I cannot get ahold of them. Especially when…”
He stopped and licked his lips as he considered the older man before him. He didn’t want to tell him of his conflicted feelings for Penelope, although he was sure the Duke already knew. While it was not a subject they discussed often, the Duke was well aware of Daniel’s former feelings for his daughter. Still, he did not wish to discuss the matter at length now. Instead he shook his head and sighed.
“When I experience strong emotions, an attachment, for example. I find it hard to control myself more.”
The Duke nodded. “I see. When it comes to romantic attachments, is what you mean. I presumed that is why you have not wed yet?”
Daniel shrugged. The truth was that he had a habit of comparing women the Penelope, or rather to the lady he imagined Penelope had grown up to be. He always looked for someone who would give him the same comfort she had when they were children. Someone who could be a sanctuary as well as a partner. He never found one. That was a part of it.
“Yes, Your Grace. That is it, in part. I fear I will fall into the same patterns as my father. Jealousy and anger… I fear if I allow myself to love anyone, I will be driven mad with it. I can feel it happening already.”
The Duke leaned back and rested the cane against his armchair, crossing his legs before him.
“I can understand the concern. I knew your father well and he suffered greatly with his emotions even long before he… grew mad, shall we say. And the fear you have inherited the tendency, as you know, is real. You recall my telling you of your grandfather?”
Daniel pressed his lips together and nodded his head once in reply. “He, too, was mad.”
“In a different way, but yes. He lost almost the entire estate, all of his wealth, due to madness. And he was not the only one. There were others before him, as you know. Would you care to hear the opinion of an old man such as myself?”
“Of course, Your Grace. I’ve always valued your advice, you know this.”
The Duke smiled kindly at him. “For someone with a history such as yours, I believe it would be best to lead a life which does not involve strong emotions.”
Daniel said nothing for a moment, thinking of the way he’d grown so angry at Alistair’s interaction with Penelope. He’d found it hard to control himself. The Duke was perhaps right. And yet…
“I suppose it means I am meant to be alone for all of my life.”
The Duke shook his head. “By no means. But perhaps instead of involving yourself in a romance of the heart, one of the mind would be preferable. I see how young Miss Hughes looks at you. She adores you. And she’s a lovely young woman. With a wealthy father. She might not be a lady, but I can see her make a wonderful Countess by your side. She surely is pleasant to be around.”
“I had not planned a marriage to anyone, if I am honest, Your Grace.”
The Duke grunted. “But you must. You must marry and secure your line. I was not given the opportunity to have a son to leave my estate nor my title. The lands that are not in entailment will go to Penelope, but my title will return to the Crown, as will this estate. I will be forgotten. A man without an heir to carry on his legacy is just that—one to be forgotten upon death.”
Daniel did not know what to say to this, as he had never much considered his future or that of his estate.
“I implore you, make a match. Penelope would certainly know how to assist you in arranging a courtship with Miss Hughes.”
He shrugged at this. He found Miss Hughes pleasant enough. She was kind, she was entertaining—alas, she was not Penelope. But maybe His Grace was right. Maybe that was what he needed.
Before he could say anything about the matter, the older man spoke up once more. “I know you had perhaps set your heart on rekindling those gentle feelings between yourself and Penelope. Do not look at me with such surprise upon your face. You may have been children, but I could see what was building within you. In any case, it has been many years and your departure was hard on Penelope. She struggled for a long time.”
He paused and set his eyes on him. There was judgement in them, anger. The same he’d seen hinted and heard in Penelope’s own voice. His stomach lurched at the thought of having caused her pain but then again, he had no choice. If his recent bout of emotions was any indicator, the Duke was right. He could not manage a romantic relationship without potentially falling into the same trap as his father.
I must set aside these resurging feelings for her. I cannot risk her life by giving in to them. Besides, she seemed to have nothing for me but anger.
He looked up at his father figure. “She seems to have recovered well enough.” His tone was dry and defensive, but the Duke gave him a soft smile anyhow.
“She has. She has much enjoyed being a matchmaker for her friends and neighbors. She has found a purpose in it, though until tonight, I did not see her enjoy the company of a young man. Your friend, Mr. Mavis, certainly seems to have captivated her attention.”
Daniel’s eyebrows shot up at this and he shook his head.
