“That is not the way you should live your life,” he whispered, walking closer to the bed, and taking her by the hand. Then, as if he remembered that they weren’t alone, he pulled away. “Father wouldn’t have wanted you to. He would want you to be happy.”
“Sometimes that happiness is too expensive,” she said, lowering her gaze. Hers would certainly be. It would cost him everything he owned. His reputation, his business, everything. No one would forgive him for marrying an orphan girl. Such things were a death sentence for one’s reputation and live among the ton.
“Well…” He seemed confused by her statement. “Perhaps it is easier to simply focus on the little things that bring us joy, such as the fact that the house is now mine, and we may start with the renovations as soon as you feel up for it.”
“That is hardly a little thing,” she beamed again, truly reminded that there were still so many things in life to be happy about. She would never marry the man she loved, but at least, she would still have him in her life. His presence would be enough to make her smile, to fill her heart with joy. Those were the little things she would be content with.
“That is the least I could do to help,” he replied. “It is you who truly helps. I help with my finances, but you help with your heart, and they can sense that.”
She smiled, feeling overwhelmed by his words. Suddenly, the world appeared a little brighter. Finally, she saw a chance to make it a better place for these children.
Within the next half an hour, she was brought down and out into the garden. Alexander’s arms were just as she remembered them. Warm. Strong. Tender. She could not imagine a more beautiful embrace than that. It was hard to remind herself that it was not an embrace. It was merely aid, and she was nothing but a friend to him.
“Pink and purple flowers… and red ones, too… Oh, these smell wonderfully. Smell them, Henry,” Ella cooed softly at baby Henry, whose little nose curled at the smell of all the flowers in Marjorie’s garden.
She watched the children running about, enjoying the sight before her. There was no more sadness on their faces. Life had made them into adults too early, but somehow, with Alexander’s help, she managed to magically transform them back into children. They were not worried whether they would be left hungry that evening and would not be able to fall asleep from the rumbling in their bellies. They were also not worried whether they would be sleeping on the cold, cobbled streets under the night sky. Their only concern was what game they wanted to play and whether they would have enough time throughout the day for them all.
She looked over at Alexander. He was talking to Jonathan, and the two seemed to be involved in a discussion of hand words, hand-waving and smiled. What surprised her to see was Alexander on his knees in the grass, his face on the same level as the boy. He was nodding in agreement to something Jonathan had said.
Unexpectedly, he turned to her. Sometimes, she would forget how thrilling his gaze was. Then, when he would lock eyes with her, she would feel as if she had been blind without his presence. Once he appeared again before her, he would bring back the light with him. All the shadows would disperse before him. All the darkness would disappear. There would be nothing but light, nothing but sunshine and pure joy.
He smiled at her, getting up, and ruffling Jonathan’s hair a little. It did not escape her attention the way the boy looked at him. There was so much reverence in those innocent eyes, so much tenderness, so much love. She could see it now. They all loved him. But he did not belong to them. He was merely borrowed, for this precious, short amount of time they would spend together, and then, they would all go their separate ways.
It was for the better.She needed to keep reminding herself of this because she forgot it too easily.
“May I have everyone’s attention, please?” Alexander suddenly exclaimed among the joyful chatter, in hopes that everyone would be able to hear him. Marjorie doubted that the children would cease to run and have fun, but to her utter shock and surprise, they did. The games stopped. The babble discontinued. All eyes were focused on him, drinking him in. “It is such a pleasure to be here, with all of you. Marjorie’s home is such a haven, and I cannot imagine a better place to share my happy news with all of you.”
He paused to glance at her once again. His smile was pure love. Her heart clenched. Somewhere inside of her, a bolt of lightning exploded. He was so much more than she ever could have anticipated. The spoiled son of a good-hearted earl had turned into a good man himself, the kind of a man she always saw herself with. She focused her attention on his words, not on him.
“I am happy to announce that I yesterday, I have signed the papers for the old Miller residence,” Alexander announced. “With it in my possession now, all we need to do is wait for Marjorie’s ankle to heal, and we shall immediately commence with the work of transforming that old ruin into an orphanage that will never turn away any child who needs a warm meal or a warm bed. I promise you that.”
She could tell that his words came from the heart. This was not a polished, rehearsed speech which the lords and the ladies would usually resort to. A change had come upon Alexander. She could see less and less of that pampered boy who believed that the arrival of another child to the household would mean the revoking of his own privileges. In his place came a man his father would be proud to see today. The thought brought tears to her eyes.
At first, no one spoke. The words initially felt like something foreign, something that did not belong to any of them, because it sounded too good to be true. Marjorie knew that feeling all too well. These children were frightened of the world, weary of rich people like Alexander, because they meant nothing to them. But here was a man who was willing to help and did not want anything in return for it.
The first child that approached Alexander was Jonathan. He walked slowly, as if he were counting his steps. When he finally reached Alexander, he wrapped his little arms around Alexander’s waist, and gave him a hug that only a sad, disheartened child who had just found hope again could give. Marjorie could not prevent her tears from rolling down her face.
One by one, other children approached him, wrapping their arms around him, and eventually, Alexander was lost in the love of the children around him. There was so much more to this man, but there was no time to find out about it. She couldn’t take her eyes off the sight before her, which made her heart warm. Soon, a chill would follow, but at least she would have these memories to keep her warm.
Chapter 20
Two weeks passed by in a flurry. Alexander endeavored to keep himself busy with work. That way, he could keep his mind occupied without wondering every moment of every day what Marjorie was doing. Calling upon her too often might leave the wrong impression, especially if Percival caught wind of it, and he would have some explaining to do, which would be difficult, as he could barely explain all this to himself. So, Alexander decided to remain safely on the sides… until that afternoon.
Percival came to visit, as they had previous agreed. It was a day Alexander dreaded more than he dreaded anything else. His friend appeared looking rather sharp. His sideburns appeared especially bushy and thick, and stood in stark contrast to his white shirt with an exceptionally high collar. His cravat was the greenest hue of the woods, not unlike Marjorie’s own eyes. A sparkling pocket watch hung from the side of his waist.
As soon as Percival entered Alexander’s study, he stopped in the middle of the room, as if to show off. Alexander had to admit he looked good. He looked determined.
“Good morning, Haddington,” Percival greeted him cordially, with a wide grin on his face. Alexander wondered if there was something smug about it, almost wickedly so. But he banished the thought. It was his treacherous heart, endeavoring to make drama on a day that was best allowed to simply happen. He had no right to say anything that might ruin the chances of Marjorie’s happiness.
“Morning,” Alexander replied, a heaviness clutching at his very core making it increasingly more difficult to breathe. A day had only four and twenty hours in it. Of those four and twenty hours, he would spend perhaps two in the presence of Marjorie and Percival together, as they finally have the conversation for which he himself brought them together.
That was before he was aware of what lay deep inside his heart before he knew what he was destined to do. Now it was too late. He had no right to her or to her happiness. He had no right to speak of it. All he would do was silently watch her life take another path, the one away from him.
“Are we ready?” he asked, endeavoring to seem upbeat.
“I know I am,” Percival revealed a row of pearly whites.
Alexander was far from it. He would have paid any amount of money not to have to be present once Percival asked Marjorie that dreaded question, but as her unofficial guardian, his presence was not only desired, but also obligatory. He owed her that much. In fact, he owed her much more, and hopefully, her marriage to Percival would be Alexander’s way of showing her that her happiness truly mattered to him.
