“You’re most welcome, Lydia,” Matthew answered, his voice unsteady. “I meant what I said to you last evening though. I truly want us to be happy.” He looked around and nodded towards their waiting horses. “Shall we go back to the house?”
“Only if you promise we can return whenever we like,” Lydia said before grinning at him slyly. “After all, we have a bridge to finish building.”
Chapter 27
By the time Lydia and Matthew returned to the house and left their horses at the stable, Mr. Williams was nearly standing on his head with concern. He stood as straight as ever with the most confident, unyielding look upon his face, even as a nervous guest waited in the drawing room.
“I’m glad you’ve returned, My Lord,” Williams said when the couple entered the house. “You have a guest, a Lady Penelope Martin. She says there is an urgent matter she must discuss with Lady Paxton.”
“Thank you, Williams,” Lydia said gratefully as she looked to the open door and saw her friend. Turning to Matthew, she said, “I’m sorry, but I must see what the matter is.”
Instead of departing, Matthew came up behind Lydia and followed her closely. At her inquisitive look, he said, “If there is something the matter that concerns you, then it concerns me as well. I should like to know what’s wrong, if you don’t mind my intrusion.”
“Not at all,” Lydia answered, moved by his endearing gesture. At the drawing room door, Penelope saw the both of them and ran to Lydia, embracing her quickly.
“Lydia, I have learned some rather disturbing news that I must share with you,” she began. She looked quickly to Matthew and back to Lydia, questioning his attendance.
“It’s all right, Penny. If there is anything amiss, Lord Paxton should know,” Lydia assured her before leading her friend to a sofa and sitting down beside her. Matthew walked the length of the wall of windows, listening but not wishing to appear intrusive.
Matthew noted that their guest cast a quick glance in his direction again, something which made him wonder if he should depart. Perhaps there was some private matter between them, something that he should not overhear? Just as he was considering making his excuses, Penelope started to speak.
“I suppose the matter does concern Lord Paxton as well, and therefore he should be present,” she began, though she seemed notably uncomfortable with him. “It concerns your marriage, or rather, the elopement.”
Lydia stiffened, anxious about whatever Penelope might reveal. Her earlier elation faded by the second, leaving her fearful after the past day had been so uplifting.
“Mother informed me of something concerning marriage as it happens in Scotland,” Penelope said, taking a deep breath and letting it out in frustration. “You have mentioned to me your… agreement.”
Matthew turned sharply to look at Penelope, and she chanced to look up at him in clear discomfort with the conversation. He did not speak, only waited for her to finish.
“Go on,” Lydia urged helpfully. “It is all right, Lord Paxton and I have spoken at length about the subject and there is no shame in it. We have decided from the onset to live amicably, more as brother and sister.”
“That’s at the heart of the problem,” Penelope continued, a worried frown marring her features. “Mother and I were talking about your situation, and she feels that once you have been back at Paxton Hall for a goodly length of time and that you have a family of your own, no one will even remember the circumstances of your unfortunate beginning together. I pointed out to her that a family was not your intention, and she grew quite alarmed.”
“Why? There are many people who rely on their other family relations to be their heirs,” Matthew interjected. True, they had not spoken of their agreement again in the face of a renewed kinship together, but they had also not renewed their promise to avoid one another.
Penelope shook her head and took Lydia’s hands in hers. “It’s as Mother said, even under Scottish law, your marriage there is not valid… unless you have children.”
Lydia froze, then looked to Matthew in surprise. “Did you know this?” she whispered.
“Of course not! I’m not certain I even believe it,” Matthew replied, a flush of embarrassment creeping up his chest at having to discuss these matters in front of a stranger.
“Well there must be those whom you can question about it,” Penelope suggested desperately. “Surely you can inquire from someone discreetly as to the law?”
“Of course,” Matthew said, nodding. He glanced at the open door out into the hall and said, “I know only a few people still living in the region whom I could ask, but their answers should be honest and private. I’ll write up some short letters and have them delivered today.”
After Matthew left the drawing room, Lydia and Penelope were alone to consider her counsel. Lydia’s mind reeled with this horrible revelation, mostly in the fact that she was not as secure as she’d hope marriage would be. Without a legitimate view under the law, any number of uncertainties could cause her harm.
“Would it be so bad as all that?” Penelope asked, ducking her head to look up at Lydia.
“Would what be so bad?” Lydia immediately shot back, though she feared she already knew Penelope’s question.
“Having a family. Being arealwife to a devoted husband. After all, that is all that is required to fulfill the terms of the law,” Penelope said gently.
Lydia shook her head. “It is not something I could even ask of Matthew. He has his reasons for not wanting a family, and I agreed to respect those reasons. But to answer your question… I would be the happiest woman in the world if I could truly be his wife.” Lydia looked down at her hands to hide the tears that pricked at her eyes. “To have a husband and a family of my own, that has been one of my greatest longings for years now. But now I find that I don’t wish only for a husband, but for Matthew to be that man.”
“You truly love him, don’t you?” Penelope said quietly, placing her hand on Lydia’s supportively.
Lydia nodded. “I do. I love him with all my heart. But at best, I can hope that he and I remain cordial friends. I cannot expect that he will return even half the love I feel for him, though he has proven to be kind and even a true friend since our return. But love? He says that it is beyond him, and I find that I must believe him even though I long for so much more.”
