Matthew felt a flush of shame inch up his neck, warming his face uncomfortably. “I should have chosen my words more carefully,” he replied apologetically.
“No, it is good that I know your true heart on the matter,” Lydia said. “It will spare me any hurt feelings in the future as I now know there is no hope of a loving marriage or a family. You have said so already, so none of the fault is yours. I think perhaps I let myself hope a little too ardently before, but now I understand. Do not let it trouble you.”
Matthew was suddenly struck by a harsh pang of sorrow. “Lydia, I did not mean—”
“Matthew,” Lydia retorted somewhat sharply, turning to pin him back with a cold stare. “Don’t. Please do not attempt to undo what has already been done. Besides, there is no need for compassion now. I have accepted what we are to one another… nothing.”
Chapter 18
Lord Bronson looked out through the glass in the door and saw another dark gray wave smash against the hull of the ship, sending sea spray up over the railing. The water seeped in under the door as the boat rocked to and fro in the storm. The ship rose on the crest of another wave and then—as it had done countless times that morning—it dropped suddenly as it fell, lurching Julius’ delicate stomach with every torturous motion.
The rains had started suddenly on the first day of the journey, followed by a howling wind that blew in off the sea. The further north they’d trekked, the worse the storm seemed to be. It had followed them up the coast and showed no signs of letting them loose. Trying to quell the nausea that threatened to be his undoing, Julius became angrier and angrier as the day wore on.
“How much longer can this go on?” Julius shouted, kicking pointlessly at a puddle of water that had reappeared from under the door.
“Could be hours, could be days,” the captain answered with an unbothered shrug. He sat at the low table in the quarters Julius had been assigned, working at an old task. “You’d think ya never traveled by sea before.”
“I have,”’ Julius argued hotly. “Plenty of times, in fact. But never when there was so much at stake. I have to arrive by today!”
“Then ya might better have taken a coach, My Lord,” the captain said. He at least appeared apologetic, but still he was none too concerned with the plight of his passenger.
“Can I be let off at the next port or harbor?” Julius inquired. “Then I could catch a coach from there?”
The old captain looked up from the rope he was tying and stared at Julius, bewildered. “No, ya can’t. It don’t work that way. Ya can’t just pull a boat to shore and let folks off. Like e’eryone else, ya just got to bide your time, My Lord. The sea tells us what she’ll be doing, not the other way ‘round.”
Julius fumed silently. He stalked the length of the close quarters, wishing the captain would return to wherever he’d been keeping busy with these last two days. But the man had explained he needed to be close to the top deck in case the mast or the line snapped in the storm.
“This is maddening,” Julius grumbled quietly. “How does anyone expect to get from here to there while traveling solely at the whims of the rain and the wind?”
The captain laughed good-naturedly. “True, life on the sea isn’t for e’eryone. And you’re right, there’s plenty that try but they go mad the first time they’re trapped below decks with nothin’ to do but wring the dripping water out o’ their hair.” He reached behind him for another length of tangled rope. “Here, take your mind off your troubles. Loosen all these knots and be useful, it’ll keep ya from thinking on the storm too hard.”
Julius glared indignantly at the captain for a moment. The Earl of Bronson should work at a filthy old rope? But soon enough, he sat down hard in a chair across from the captain and took the old gray cord in his hands, plucking uselessly at the tangled strands.
“So, ya didn’t tell me why you’re traveling to Scotland,” the captain said casually.
“No, I did not.” Julius’ answer was curt, causing the captain to look up from his work and regard the Earl strangely.
“I was only asking to pass the time, I’m not prying in your affairs,” the captain said, looking down and pulling at another strand of rope to slide it through a knot.
“Good. Then we understand one another,” Julius snapped, still appearing to focus on his task.
A flash of lightning followed instantly by a deafening crack of thunder effectively ended all talk between them. The ship rocked perilously from side to side, sending items in the small room sliding across their surfaces. Julius fidgeted nervously, trying not to appear frightened by the predicament they were in, but the captain continued on as though nothing but sunshine and soft breezes were assaulting the ship from every side.
The quarters, already darkened by the overhanging clouds, was plunged into blackness when a gust of wind blew the doors open and extinguished the lone candle that had flickered in front of the captain. Water poured in and soaked the room. Julius cried out in fear before remembering himself, but the captain only sauntered over and forced the doors closed once again.
“Is only sea water, My Lord,” he said, laughing lightly at Julius’ reaction. “Won’t do you no harm, unless’n ya take in a good draught of it.”
Another flash and another quaking peal of thunder sounded, as if defying the captain’s remarks about their safety. Suddenly, a volley of shouts from right outside the quarters alerted both men to something gravely wrong.
“Captain!” a deck hand shouted frantically. “We’ve lost the mast!”
The captain jumped from his seat and shoved Julius aside. “Stay here!” he barked as he dove out into the storm, leaving the doors hanging open behind him. Julius watched with dread as the doors banged helplessly in the wind, reminding him of a dying bird’s wings as it plummeted to the ground.
A great splinter of wood was followed by the loudest crash Julius had ever heard as the tall mast finally broke free. A wall of water beside the ship rose up and washed over it at the moment the great wooden structure hit the water, leaving them floundering.
“Cut the ropes!” men called out in a panic. “Get the sail ‘fore it drags us under!”
The crew ran back and forth past the open door to the quarters where Julius watched and prayed, then with a sudden surge, the ship’s bow rose up out of the water. The ropes had been cut and the ship was free of the weight that was dragging them to the bottom.
