“I know. I swiftly made my way outside to the gardens when I came upon Duke Westmond. He graciously offered to dance the minuet with me to save me from embarrassment.”
Betsy grinned. “Ever so charming! To save you from the gabbers in such a manner.”
“He did. Although we did not end up dancing the minuet together for Duke Thornmouth appeared at last. We did spend quite some time conversing however, while waiting for the opening of the ball. And I am unsure how to say it, but something about him is ever so extraordinary.”
I am never at a loss for words. But with him, I find myself out of the correct ones to describe him.
“Extraordinary? I’ve never heard you describe a person as that.”
“I have never experienced it before now. Yet, I felt myself telling him things I have not told anyone but you. I feel as though I could tell him anything at all. He listened; he didn’t judge. He’s just…“she shook her head, “ever since that night, I find him occupying my every thought. I think of his face as I go to sleep and as I get up. He is on my mind day and night.”
“Rowena, that is wonderful. I feared you would never experience such a feeling.” Betsy squeezed her arm.
“No, Betsy. It is not wonderful at all. I cannot fall for a man I just met. I am to be married.”
Betsy shook her head in protest.
“Rowena, I have not seen you with a smile upon your face in weeks. Just now, as you told me about him, your entire visage lit up. You must see him again.”
“It is my hope that I will not see him again anytime soon, for these foolish feelings must be extinguished and I fear if I am near him, they will only grow stronger and stronger.”
“Maybe you are meant to see him again soon. Maybe you are meant to feel what you feel. Love at first sight does not only appear in books, my dearest. I dare say, you have found it at a coming-out ball!”
Her voice had risen in excitement.
“Shh, please, I do not want anyone to hear. This cannot happen. I am to become the Duchess of Thornmouth soon. I have a duty to my family. I cannot allow these feelings to deter me from my path.”
“Perhaps your path leads you to Duke Westmond. Would that be so terrible? You would still be a duchess in any case, if that is what you are worried about. And your Father appears to like him well already, so I do not see the harm in even seeing him again.”
“My Father likes him for Catherine and for his help with the dratted vineyard. The Duke is in dire straits financially. Papa would never agree to let his oldest daughter wed a man so down on his luck.”
“But he considers him for your sister?” Betsy protested, her eyes wide.
“Of course. Because he believed that I will be wed soon to one of the richest men in the Realm. He can then afford to allow his younger daughter to marry for title. Perhaps by Westmond will have worked his way out of the poorhouse. I could never marry someone who does not have his own wealth.”
Betsy pursed her lips together, anger flashing across her eyes.
“So, he is down on his luck and yet he is offering to help your Father with the vineyard. That doesn’t sound like a terrible person to me. And besides, since when does being poor disqualify a person from being worthy of having a part in your life? I haven’t two pennies to rub together, yet you regard me as you dearest friend.”
Rowena found herself horrified at her own insensitivity. Sometimes she forgot that despite the lovely gowns and bonnets and shoes Betsy wore, she was in fact, poor. Reliant entirely on the charity of Rowena’s parents.
“I am sorry. I did not mean to anger you nor offend you. I am simply–”
Her friend waved a hand, her anger forgotten. “Forgive me, I suffered a moment of silliness. I know what we mean to one another, money or no. And I know that you must be torn between your duty and your heart. But truthfully, does it not appear strange to you that you met Duke Westmond the same night you met your future husband? A man for whom you do not care at all?”
Rowena considered the notion. It was true. She had dreaded meeting her future husband, and she’d found him as unlikable as she’d feared. Despite his obvious regard for her. He fawned over her, complimented her, and devoted much of his evening to her. Yet she did not care for him at all. In fact, her skin crawled at the thought of him. But then, on the other hand, the Duke of Westmond had made her heart sing.
While she could be her true self with one, she had to play the role she had been raised to play with the other. She’d been imagining her life as the Duchess of Thornmouth. She would not want for anything. Money, jewelry, homes, and servants would all be at her feet. But she would forever have to play the role of duchess. As her mother had and generations of women before her. She’d never be herself or follow her own desires.
I cannot even imagine a life as the wife of the Duke of Westmond. And yet, the thought fills me with happiness.
She shook her head. All of this turmoil over a man she had spent a portion of an evening with. She was indeed making a cake of herself and putting her family’s reputation and future at stake. No, she could not allow it.
“Betsy, it might have been fated. But I believe it was only to show me that my destiny is in being the lady I was meant to be. It is to test my perseverance and dedication. And I will take it as such. In any case, I am not likely to see him again anytime soon.”
Betsy pressed her lips together and raised her right eyebrow.
“If you insist. I just do not want you to miss you chance at happiness.” She considered Rowena for a moment. “How about this, if you do not see Duke Westmond again before the wedding, you are right. You are fated to follow the path your parents set you on. But if you do see him again, you must promise you will consider the alternative.”
