Holly takes a few steps away and turns, catching my eye. Her eyebrow arches as her lips smirk. She gestures for me to get out of the car.
Yep, my wife totally caught me admiring her. The woman who has no idea how deep my feelings for her are.
I grab the Frostys, their cold condensation grounding me in this surreal moment that feels like a dream, and follow in Holly’s footsteps. She looks free, all the weight on her shoulders blown away by the salty air.
My heart constricts at the thought of the burdens on Holly’s shoulders.
I’m best friends with Holly’s brother, but I don’t fully understand their relationship with their parents. Alex told me they were alcoholics, and neglectful. That they used the money he earned from his acting jobs to go on lavish vacations without their kids. I know somewhat of how their actions affected Alex.
What did their actions do to Holly?
A fire flares in my chest at the thought of Holly’s parents hurting her, of them neglecting this beautiful woman who is so talented and amazing. How could they not see her? How could they not want to spend time withher?
I stop next to Holly about twenty yards from where the ocean waves roll in. She smiles and grabs her Frosty and spoon out of my hand. She smooths the sand in front of her with her foot before sitting down and folding her legs, propping her elbows on her knees, and shoveling a heaping amount of Frosty into her mouth.
I tolerate sand and I’d prefer sitting on a towel, but you willnotsee me running away from this romantic opportunity.
We’re silent as we eat and watch the sunset, its yellow and golds reflecting on the waves and wet sand.
I pop the last bite of melty chocolate goodness into my mouth and prop my arms up on my knees. I stare at the ocean and I let out the words that’ve been bursting to escape for the last ten minutes. “Holly, our marriage isn’t real-real, but I’d still like to get to know you better.”
In my peripheral, I see Holly freeze, her spoon halfway to her mouth. A look of nervousness crosses her face before she takes a bite. She’s swallows. “What do you want to know?”
“I know some of the simple things, like your favorite color is purple. I want to know everything about you. From simple things to what it was like for you growing up. Alex shared his version of things, but I’d like to know what it was like for you.”
She nods and takes another bite. She sticks her spoon in her cup and sets it aside, mimicking my posture. Our shoulders brush and I admire the golden glow of her hair as she rests her chin on her arms. She pulls her hair from around her shoulders and tucks it on the side opposite from me. Her eyes meet mine, her voice strained. “I don’t like talking about it. It wasn’t fun. The only good thing about growing up was Alex.”
I nod. I’m glad she answered my question, but I want more. “How’d growing up like that make you feel?”
She scoffs and stares at the ocean. Her eyebrows furrow as her lips turn down. “You mean how did it make a preteen feel to be left alone with ahousekeeper every day? To not have friends who could come over, and to never go on a vacation because your parents spent all the money traveling without you? How did it feel to be neglected and then criticized whenever your parents came home? Yeah. It felt great.”
She kicks the sand in front of her with her heel and buries her head in her arms.
I wince. Maybe that wasn’t the right discussion topic for our romantic date.
I reach over and rest my hand between her shoulder blades, rubbing a small circle on her back. “I’m sorry.”
Those two words don’t feel like enough.
She huffs a bitter laugh then lifts her head and directs her gaze at me. My hand falls to the sand behind her, bringing our bodies closer together.
“You don’t have to apologize, Mateo. It’s not your fault.” She shrugs. “At least now I have Alex and Reina. Reina is the sister I always wanted. Stanley and Momma T have adopted me as one of their own, and Hudson is the grandpa I wished for when I was younger.”
I want my name on that short list of people she calls hers.
“You’ll always have me.”
Her eyes match the sea in front of us, emotions tumbling and crashing, and all I want to do is dive in deep to discover her secrets. My heart pounds, wanting to unleash my deepening feelings for Holly. Feelings I’ve kept secret for two years. Feelings that have grown stronger than I could have imagined in the past week.
There’s a tether pulling me to her, the glistening reflection of the sunset in her eyes drawing me in like a honeybee to a wildflower. Her face inches closer to mine.
It’s only when we’re a hand’s breadth away that I remember my promise:
The ball is in her court.
I pull back and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her against my side. Her head lands on my chest. I can’t resist the draw of hercoconut-scented hair and place a kiss on the crown of her head.
I need to be content with these small displays of affection.
