She doesn’t move, so I back up a hair’s breadth from her lips, which are temptingly kissable.
Without warning, Holly’s hands move from my chest up to my lapels. She grips them tight and gently tugs me toward her, closing the distance between us until her lips capture mine.
Holly is kissing me.
My arm tightens around the curve of her waist, pulling her fully against me as I let out the tiniest ounce of the feelings I’m holding deep within me for this amazing woman.
Holly meets me kiss for kiss and I let her lead our passionate exchange. But just when I think I’ve broken through one of the walls around Holly’s heart, she pulls away.
I’m not ready to let her go. I loosen my hold on her waist, but as I pull back, I gently nip her bottom lip.
I’ll blame it on the heat of the moment.
I open my eyes and see fire aimed my way. Holly’s eyes are scorching, a mixture of desire, bewilderment, and maybe a bit of annoyance, swirling in their ocean depths.
Oops. Totally messed that one up.
There are too many emotions to handle and my mind screams for an escape, something to make people laugh and realize that I didn’t just make a mistake the first time I kissed my wife. I’m supposed to be able to handle this fake relationship, and it’s supposed to be easy to be just friends while we’re married.
But nothing about this is easy.
I inhale more of Holly’s citrus scent, probably some expensive mixture of lemons and limes, and take a step back, dropping my arm from around Holly’s back.
I box up my emotions, compartmentalizing them and putting them on a shelf for later, like I normally do, and turn to see my family.
I mentally put on my “life of the party” hat and turn to our small audience.
Mami is smiling, a handkerchief in hand as she dabs at tears. My dad sits next to her, his arm around her shoulder, a small smile on his face. Cruz and Nadia are beaming in their chairs. Cruz meets my eye and her grin turns saucy while she waggles her eyebrows at me.
Okay so maybe the ending of that kiss didn’t go unnoticed. Heat creepsup my neck as I make eye contact with Alex and Reina. Alex—his face looks, well, I’m not sure even he knows how he feels right now, and I can’t decipher his gaze, so I meet Reina’s eyes. The look she’s giving me is one I know well. Considering she’s known me since elementary school, she can read me like a book, and she gives me a knowing smile. She winks before looking at Holly, grinning.
Hudson’s calm clapping breaks through the silence, the noise is the encouragement everyone needs to stand up and move toward us.
Mami reaches us first and envelopes Holly in a hug.
Holly’s hand stays in mine, and I don’t let it go.
Hudson comes up and claps me on the back. “Treat her well.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat, Hudson’s tender admonition touching my heart in a way I didn’t expect. Besides my father and Reina’s dad, Hudson has been one of the best examples of a good man. My heart aches, knowing this day probably reminds him of his wife who waits for him in the next life.
What would it be like to love someone so deeply that you mourn their loss every day, yet you keep going to spread the joy they always exemplified?
My eyes sting as I look at my new wife.
My wife.
Holly’s cheeks are pink, and her very-good-at-kissing lips are quirked in a small grin as she talks to Alex. Though she looks happy on the outside, her wide eyes and trembling hand remind me of a jackrabbit, ready to flee the minute they hear a loud noise.
But she hasn’t let go of my hand yet.
I don’t know if Holly sees how well she already fits in with my family, or with our little group from Bolt. She’s connected with my sisters, and Mami already dotes on her. Dad is quiet, but I can tell he likes her from the way he’s tried to include her in conversations.
My heart sinks. What will I do when she’s gone?
Hudson stands next to me, watching our happy little crew, and I knowwhat I’ll do. I’ll keep going and keep working, but I’ll be missing half of my heart.
I know I messed things up by kissing her like she was already mine, and I don’t know how well I’ll fit in her world here in California, but I know one thing for sure.
