He grins wryly, the wrinkles on his cheeks pronounced, showing the years he’s spent smiling. “That boy was so tongue-tied he couldn’t get a single word out. Usually he’s a charmer and has no trouble talking, but when he saw you, his whole world changed. He would have asked you on a real date if there weren’t a thousand miles separating the two of you.”
I think back to the first time I met Hudson and Mateo, when they came to talk sense into my brother and convince him to go back to Bolt for Reina. Hudson charmed me the minute I walked in the door while Mateo just stared. I thought he was a little socially awkward, not gonna lie, but my brother deemed him his best friend, so I didn’t question why he was there. “I just thought he was quiet.”
Hudson barks out a laugh. “Quiet? Our Mateo? No way. You just happen to bring out his more serious side. When he warms up and gets more comfortable around you, I’m sure you’ll see the goofy side we’re all used to.”
My mind races back to when Mateo stopped me in the Walmart parking lot and proposed next to my car. He said I’d never think of Walmart parking lots the same again, and he’s right. “I think I’ve seen a bit of it.”
Hudson gently grips my hand, wrapping my arm around his, and walks me toward the courthouse doors. “You’ll be good for each other, and who knows? Maybe this will last longer than you think.”
“We’ll see,” I whisper before straightening my spine and taking a deep breath. I can do this.
Reina and Alex walk in the building first and Mateo's family quickly pulls them into hugs. Cruz and Nadia are in matching lilac-colored dresses and stand next to their parents. Mateo got his wish, and his sisters are playing the part of bridesmaid and flower girl. They’re holding small bouquets, but we decided they wouldn’t be throwing any flower petals.
I tighten my grip on Hudson’s arm, avoiding looking at the one person left in the room I’ve yet to acknowledge.
This is it. I’m about to make a decision that’s going to change my life. Even if we’ll only be married for a year, this experience will change me forever. There’s no going back now.
I turn and see Mateo in a suit. I notice his hair first. His curls are tamed without losing their distinct wave, and his beard is trimmed short and looking extra polished. He’s wearing a gray suit with a lilac-colored tie that matches the bridesmaid dresses. Come to think of it, it matches the tie Alex and Hudson are wearing too. His slacks are pressed and ironed just right, and his black shoes are shiny.
I finish my perusal and look back up into his eyes. They’re misty and his smile is wide as he looks at me. It’s the look I’ve always wanted to see on a man’s face, and I’m in disbelief that the first time I’m seeing it is from my name-only future husband right before we get married.
Hudson tugs me forward, and his shuffled gait is the perfect pace for me as I reel in my emotions.
I’m glad I don’t have a long white dress on, or else I’d have stepped on it and tripped at some point. I’ve had years of practice in ball gowns and formal wear, but this courthouse is doing something to my nerves, and my white midi dress is the perfect length for not tripping.
I stare into Mateo’s eyes and watch as a single tear slides down his cheek. He doesn’t even wipe it away, just leaving it there for me and everyone else to see.
I almost wish we were getting married in a church and that this was real with all the real getting-married-for-love feelings. I wonder how many tears he would shed then, because this one is doing something to me.
It’s as if that singular tear has washed away the anxiety gripping my chest. A peace I’ve only ever felt from attending church surrounds me.
This man, who stands next to my brother and is his best friend, is someone I’m just starting to know well. Yet, he’s shedding a tear as I walk up to him in a wedding dress in a courthouse.
The laundry list of reservations I have about this marriage is shoved into the washer to disintegrate until my anxiety wants to piece it back together at a later date.
I shouldn’t fall in love with Mateo. It’ll make our lives messy, and mine already feels like a pile of wet laundry thrown on the floor.
So why does this feel so right?
Mateo holds out his hand and Hudson takes mine, slipping it into Mateo’s before backing away. Mateo’s calloused hands wrap around mine. They’re warm and comforting, and his touch makes me feel safe.
We stand there looking at each other for who knows how long before a worker comes up to us and leads us to a small room. There’s nothing particularly memorable about the building and this space in particular. It’s efficient, and that’s really all we cared about.
A tinge of regret hits me at the fact we won’t be getting married in a cute chapel, or even in a spot that means something to the two of us. It didn’t feel right to get married in a church knowing our arrangement isn’t supposed to last. I didn’t want this to feel like a lie before God.
I shake my head, my wavy curls falling over my shoulders, the loose half-updo another reminder of how I’m limiting the fanfare of this ceremony. I got ready by myself, did my own makeup and hair, and picked adress that was simple and nothing like my dream wedding dress.
I stand with Mateo at the front of the room, the only thing connecting us are our joined hands, and watch as our family files in and sits in the few chairs provided for guests.
The employee pulls out the paperwork and begins talking.
His words go in one ear and out the other because Mateo is looking at me and I can’t break away from his gaze. He’s looking at me like I’m beautiful.
The officiant asks a question, and Mateo turns back to him, uttering two words: “I do.”
I can’t catch my breath. Oxygen is trapped in my lungs.
I look at Alex and Reina. They’re smiling, and their grins don’t even look fake. Hudson’s wrinkled grin is wide from where he sits next to Alex. Mateo’s family, who are sitting behind my brother and his wife, even look joyful. Tears stain his mother’s cheeks as she smiles at us.
