Alex nods, his lips quirking. “At least he has sisters and a mom who’ve taught him how to live with a woman.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Marriage sure can be an adjustment.”
I snort. “Probably for you. You lived on your own for years.”
He clears his throat and gives me a pointed look. “And exactly when was the last time you had a roommate?” He looks around my house. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Not since you lived with me.”
I sniff and look away. “Touché. But that’s beside the point.” I shrug. “We’ll make it work.”
My heart tugs at me, urging me to tell Alex about Jorge, his threats, and now his stalking. But how do I confess to my big brother that my life is falling apart, that I lied to Jorge about being engaged to Mateo, and that I’ve convinced his best friend to enter a marriage of convenience with me?
I can’t.
I can’t tell because that’ll put one more burden on Alex when he should be enjoying his blossoming career and his new wife. He has his own responsibilities and I need to be responsible for myself.
Which is why I called Mateo last night before calling the police. Which I should have done in reverse order.
I grimace. Yep. I’m managing my issues and being responsiblesowell.
The memory of Mateo’s soothing voice filters through my mind. He gave me the courage to make that hard phone call to the police. Somehow, he helped me have the backbone I needed to stand up for myself.
Mateo is one major green flag of a man. I want more of the green flag moments in my life.
It finally clicks why Mateo’s name was the first one I thought of when I lied to Jorge about being engaged: He was my knight in shining armor, coming to rescue me from grabby-hands Jorge. Mateo didn’t make a single move on me that evening. He was a friend, he was easy to talk to, and he cleaned up good for the event.
For a moment, I daydream of him escorting me to all the galas and professional events I go to with my existing clients or to meet new ones. Mateo could pull off the fancy look really well if I got some product into those curls of his.
I like Mateo. Which I can’t say about the majority of men I know. He’sattractive, rocks a suit, and I know he can handle himself at the events I attend. He’s protective and I’m totally in denial about how attractive that is and how attracted I am to him.
My mouth waters as I remember eating chocolate Frostys on my almost date with Mateo. It was the most relaxed I’ve ever been around a man. Green flag number two, Mateo didn’t feel like a threat, and he didn’t want anything from me. It was so easy to simply exist around him, not to mention eating food in front of him. I didn’t feel like I was going to scare him away by dipping fries in my Frosty, and finishing all of it in a few short minutes. I didn’t feel judged for having an appetite.
I need another chocolate Frosty stat—and to get Mateo out of my mind. I highly doubt I can get over my past enough to trust a man enough to have a real relationship, not just a fake one. Who can blame me? The only healthy relationships I’ve witnessed are between my brother and his wife, and his in-laws, Momma T and Stanley.
Alex groans and covers his face with his hands. The sound pulls me from my delicious daydreams.
I nudge his leg with my foot. “What?”
He drops his hands, his blue eyes glaring at me. “You had the look on your face.”
“What look?”
He shakes his head. “Never mind. You’re going to do this no matter what I say. Aren’t you?”
I study his face. We share so much, including the same shade of blue in our eyes, our peachy complexions and sun-streaked blonde hair. Yet, how did my brother, who shares my past, grow enough to be in a healthy relationship? Do I need to get amnesia and forget everything and end up in a small town to find the love of my life, too?
I mentally brush those questions aside and focus on his question. “Yes, I’m going to go through with this. Do you give your blessing?”
He crosses his arms and grunts. “Isn’t he supposed to ask me that question?”
I shrug. “This isn’t exactly typical. I figure I can ask instead.” I flip my hair over my shoulder, trying to channel the playful sister role I usually easily fall into around Alex.
Alex rubs his hand down his face again. “I still think this is weird.” He throws his arms up in the air and starts making animated gestures with his hands. “He’s my best friend. What’s it going to be like after you guys divorce? What if one of you falls in love with the other but you’re not both in love? Is this going to make my friendship with my best friend awkward for life?”
I bite my lip and curl further into my blanket. Why hadn’t I thought about how this would affect Alex and Mateo’s friendship? I should have, because these are completely valid questions, but I’ve been too wrapped up in my issue to think about the long-term effects of our arrangement.
Time to be honest.
“Alex, I can’t tell you how it’s going to be. I can tell you that Mateo is a great guy. We both know that, and I don’t think he’d hold it against you if things don’t work out with me. I don’t know why he accepted so fast, besides the fact he’s practically perfect, he’s the only one I feel like I can turn to right now. If it makes you feel better, I’m not ready for anything beyond friendship. I doubt anything romantic is going to happen between us.”
Alex eyes me, disbelief marring his features. “This is going to end really badly. I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so’ when it crashes and burns and you can’t make me pick sides. He’s my best buddy.”
