And it’s spinning not because Hiller might get away with it, not because that’s a reality that happens far too often, and not even because the shadows of that night haven’t completely left my life.
It’s spinning because of Damon.
Because he’s known.
And he didn’t fuckingtellme.
I don’t know what to do with that information.
I don’t know how torecoverfrom the blow of it.
I can handle him being protective of me, I can even handle that straying intooverprotective. But hiding the truth from me, waiting until there might not be anything for me to do to stopthis shit from happening, putting me off time and again when I’ve asked him what’s wrong…
God, he knows I don’t trust easily.
He knowseverythingabout my past.
And he’s lying to me.
Gaslighting me.
What theactualfuck?
“Joey—”
I turn back to Kylie and pull her into a tight hug. I hate that she’s trembling, that she’s clearly worried she’s messed up in telling me. “It’s going to be okay,” I promise her, grasping on to my calm by the very edges of my fingertips, barely able to keep my voice steady. “I just need a little time to think about what I want to do?—”
Those eyes flare with worry. “About Damon? He didn’t mean?—”
I touch her cheek, swiping away a tear that’s slid down her face. “About Hiller, honey.”
More tears escape. “I don’t want you to have to?—”
I pull her close again. “I know. It’s a shit thing. We both know it. We’ve both lived it. But…” The truth settles deep inside me. “This isn’t just about me or you. This is about all of us. So as painful as it is for me to think of it, to talk about it, to move on from it”—I pull back, holding her by the tops of her shoulders—“we’re not in the shadows anymore. They don’t have power over us any longer.Youhelped me find that, remember? So don’t go and forget it now.”
Her lungs hitch. “Damon’s trying to protect you.”
My eyes close and I focus on breathing steady, on thinking beyond my frustration and hurt. Then I peel back my lids and hold her stare. “I know,” I tell her. “Please don’t worry. I understand that.”
Does it change anything? Does that make it better?
I’m not sure in this moment.
But I don’t tell Kylie that, don’t give her something else to worry about.
I just wipe her tears from her cheeks and hug her again.
Then I get in my car and drive to my office at the rink.
On the way, I call Tera—the head of legal who took over after everything went down with Hiller—at home.
It’s far too late for a pleasant chat, something I know thatsheknows immediately because her tone is all business when she asks, “What’s wrong?”
“Hiller’s going to get off?” I ask quietly.
There’s a long blip of quiet.
Then, “Damon didn’t talk to you?”
