I’m fucking this up.
It’s just…it’s this goddamned secret and my fucking temper and?—
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” She sighs and it’s heavy. “If I didn’t already know that something is seriously wrong then that right there would have told me.” She touches my chest. “What’s going on? I haven’t seen you like this since—” Her throat works. “Since I was hurt.”
“Kylie, I?—”
“Tell me.”
“There’s nothing to?—”
“Tellme.”
“I—”
“Damon.Justtell me.”
“Don’t we have curtains or some shit to install at your new place? Throw pillows to fluff? A bed frame to put together?—”
“Tell me.”
“The back of the trunk is probably full of shit I need to schlep up to your place. We should go and get that done. I fly out tomorrow for that scouting trip, so if we don’t do it today then it’ll have to wait until the end of the week?—”
“Tell me.”
Fuck.Fuck.
“And then you’ll be doing all that heavy lifting yourself?—”
“Damon,” she says quietly. “You need to cut this out. Just…stop trying to bury this shit andtellme the freaking truth.”
I can’t.
Ican’t.
I’ve failed in so many ways.
I can’t fail in this too.
“For me,” she whispers, her eyes filling withtears. “Stop trying to protect me from whatever this is and please just trust me to be able to help you handle it.”
“I can’t?—”
Her face falls.
And I can’t stand it, can’t stand her thinking that I don’t trust her.
“Hiller’s going to get off.”
THIRTY-FIVE
Joey
“Oh, my God!”Kylie says, later that night. “She didnotjust throw her shoe at him.”
My eyes are wide, but I’m glued to the TV screen as another sparkly pump goes flying. “I thought they get in trouble if they’re violent.”
