Soft, lean curves brush against my front, setting it alight, reminding me of why I always keep my distance.
She’s too fucking tempting.
She’s not fucking for me.
I can’t risk it. Can’t riskher.
But right now, close like this, every cell in my body screaming at me…that’s a lot harder to remember.
That fucker hurt her,rapedher, and she’s borne that silent hurt for too long.
“Yeah, Red, it would have been another time,” I say, crouching a little to hold her gaze. “I would have discovered the truth eventually. I’ve known something was eating at you for a while, and I thought it was the job. If I knew that Hiller?—”
Rage crawls up the back of my throat, wrapping tight fingers around my neck, making it almost impossible for me to force my next words out.
But theydocome out.
In a rasping rage.
“If I knew that asshole touched you too, I would have fuckingkilledhim.” She jumps, green eyes flaring. “He would have disappeared between one day and the next and no one would ever have found his body—except, maybe, for the big ass black bears that I’d feed his body parts to.”
Wide eyes go even wider.
But then her expression locks down. “You wouldn’t, Damon,” she whispers. “You fuckingcouldn’t.”
That’s where she’s wrong.
The anger in me, the constant thrum just beneath the surface, always held carefully in check, but always threatening to escape my grasp—it would love to escape, love to be set free on Hiller.
No.
I can’t risk it.
“I could have.” My fingers brush over her cheek. “Iwouldhave.”
She shakes her head, as though she doesn’t see how dangerous I am.
“Joey—”
“Damon,” she says on a sigh, “I don’t know why you’re pushing this. Me telling you before tonight would have changed nothing. I wouldn’t have gone public, Hiller was already fucked, and the most important thing in your life is the team. The shit that I went through would have jeopardized that further.”
I still.
Does she honestly think in her fucked-up world that the shit that man did to her is less important than my dedication to my fuckingjob?
My answer to that mental question comes with her next words.
Because shedoesbelieve that.
“I have no evidence. I have nothing but my word against his, and after that night…” Her voices breaks. “He left me alone. It was like he did that shit and then it was over and done. So, there was no point. I went to therapy and it took a long time, but I found my enjoyment in sex again. But—” Her eyes close, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “I didn’t know about Ivy and the others…I should have, and if there’s any argument about me speaking up, it’s that. If I had done that, they would have been safe. But I didn’t and everything went down and…then it didn’t matter at any longer. The most important was refocusing on the team, getting it cleaned up, and moving everyone forward.”
“It wasn’t more important than you, Red.”
Her body jerks, as though those words surprise her.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
“The team was our focus. That’s how it had to be.” The words come fast and furious, as though she’s desperate to convince me…and herself. “It’s what the guys and staff needed. It’s what Ivy and the others needed. It’s what you?—”
