God, that hurts so fucking much. I’m losing her and she’s calling mesweetheart.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“I know,” she whispers.
“I love you.”
“I know that too,” she says gently. “And that’s why we’re here, having this conversation instead of me ignoring your car in the driveway.” She sets her beer down, leans toward me, her hand resting on my forearm. “I love you, but I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t talk to me, who doesn’t share their worries and concerns with me.”
“I—”
“So, I’m going to need you to work on that.”
I blink. “What?”
“We’re going to make a commitment to talk to each other and communicate and not hide important shit.” Her hand tightens. “And if we can’t figure out a way to do that on our own, we’ll find a therapist to help us. Because, Damon, it was never about a sentence or one slip of your temper.” She cups my jaw. “You’re not perfect, sweetheart.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I mutter.
“Who?” she asks quietly.
“Kylie.”
Her face softens. “Of course.” A blip before her expression turns deadly serious. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. Both of us have spent far too much time on that particular occupation. I want us to have joy and love, passion and imperfection. I want you, just you, because I know that I’m everything you want too.”
“Red—”
Fingers on my lips for a brief moment, staying my words. “Before you start arguing and self-flagellating, do you remember what I promised you?”
I frown. “No.”
“Weeks ago,” she says, sliding her hand from my jaw down to my chest. “After coos, after realizing that I felt more alive, morefullthan I’ve ever felt before…I told you I was going to return the favor.”
My heart spasms. “Baby.”
“Do you feel empty, sweetheart?”
“Baby.”
Her mouth curves. “So we’ll work on filling you up.”
“Christ, you’re incredible,” I murmur, covering her hand with mine. Then I can’t resist it any longer, I draw her into my arms, hold her as tightly as I dare. “The entire drive over here I’ve been trying to think of what I can say to make it better, to take away the hurt my words invoked, and then you go and say all of that, say everything that you said in your video.” I pull back, cup both of her cheeks, holding her stare so she knows how serious I am. “I am in awe of you, Red.”
Her throat works, those eyes glazing over with tears. “The feeling’s mutual, hot shot.”
And…I find that I have the words.
“No more me hiding shit,” I promise. “I’ll discuss things with you like a responsible adult.”
She smiles.
“And I promise that if I can’t fix this shit in my head, the shit that had me shut down and then lash out, I’ll find someone who’ll help me with it.”
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“No, baby, thankyou.” I settle my forehead against hers. “For being smart and wonderful and patient and kind and for—” My throat gets tight, the words stoppering up.
“For kicking your future self in the ass, as needed?”
