“Then you asked why I’m still here when I’m in a relationship with Damon—orwas, I guess, until tonight,” I add flippantly, even though my heart is shredded. “You asked why I’m here, with all that baggage when your dad is gone. And not that I owe you an explanation, but Damon and I are new and—gasp—consensual. Plus, Cal, the team’s owner for those out there who don’t know, and our HR department have both been notified. They weren’t thrilled, because of what happened with your dad last season, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right?”
He sniffs.
“Andthenthis is where shit gets really real, right?Because you tried to minimize your dad sexually harassing and assaulting multiple women in the organization before he was fired asall my dad did—” I shift, point the camera more fully at him. “And do you remember whatIsaid?”
He clamps his mouth shut, glances away.
I look to the camera. “I told you that your dad raped me.” For a second, I falter. Then I remember Kylie, rememberme. I can do this. “I don’t care if you believe me. I don’t care if you think that I had it coming—how dare I be in a male space. I don’t even care if it’s the only thing you remember about me. Because I endured that, endured your dad’s abuse foryears, and even after he raped me, I hid it. I lived in shame, lived with thinking that maybe I deserved it. So, I let my guilt for not speaking up tear me apart, and I’m done—done—with that. Maybe I’ll always be that girl hockey coach who was raped, but I know in here”—I drop my free hand to my chest—“that one moment doesn’t define me. I’m more than what a man did to me, and if people can’t understand that then I just…don’t care anymore.” I glance over my shoulder at Zach. “Now, kiddo,” I say mockingly, “did you have anythingelseto add?”
“Fuck you, bitch,” he snaps.
Then he storms off, and I stay live until he gets in his car and screeches out of the lot.
I look back to the camera, stomach churning at the sheer number of people watching—yup, Tera is definitely going to kill me. “I’ve tried to be perfect,” I say quietly to the viewers. “Killed myself to do everything right—and bad things still happened to me. Fault me for falling in love with the wrong person, be pissed because I didn’t get us to the Cup last year or messed with your favorite line combination. But please, I’m begging you, know that you’re more than what other people try to make you.”
I click the button to end the live.
Turn off my phone—this will still be there for me to deal with in the morning.
And then I get in my car and turn on the engine.
I drive carefully—oh so carefully—home, abiding every speed limit, making full and complete stops at every single intersection that requires them, signaling all turns, pulling slowly into my garage.
Holding my breath until the heavy metal door rumbles closed.
Only then do I lose my hold on my tears.
I fumble for the handle, crawl out of my car. I make it to the door to the house, shove it open, whacking my arm on the frame as I stumble through, and…
Only then do I allow my knees to give way.
FORTY
Damon
I pullup behind Kylie’s little SUV, surprised to see another car parked in front of hers.
More surprised to see Colt, suit jacket spread out beneath him as he lies on his back and positions a jack.
Kylie has a flat tire.
In the worst possible place.
It’s late. It’s dark. The road is narrow.
And she tried to call Triple A but they told her it would be at least an hour before they would make it out to her.
And…
Who the fuck am I kidding?
I used the opportunity to escape the devastation I wrought in Joey. Yeah, she told me to go. But I went because I fucked up royally and I don’t know how to fix it, don’t know if Icanfix it.
I’m supposed to protect.
I’m supposed to be better than this?—
My car door is tugged open and then my sister is there,undoing my belt, grabbing my arm and yanking me out of my car. I follow her tugs robotically, distantly take in that Colt is starting in on the lug nuts.
