“You check on me like this a lot before my accident?”I ask trying to figure out how we are connected.
He exhales through his nose, eyes fixed on the road.“There was a time.”
Something sparks in the back of my brain, a memory fragment or a phantom feeling.I’m not sure.
“What, what were we, Ledger or Riot?”I ask quietly.“Before today?I notice some people call you Riot and I’m not sure which I’m supposed to use.”
His grip on the wheel tightens.He takes a deep inhale really contemplating his answer.“Riot is my road name with the Kings of Anarchy.If I don’t agree with something, I don’t have a problem being the problem, causing a ruckus or a riot.”
Well, that gives me one explanation.“And us?”The two letter word comes off my tongue in both a bitter and sweet way that feels instinctual.
“We had an agreement,” he explains with a cautious tone.“No strings.Just enjoyed each other’s company.”
Heat blooms across my cheeks.
Oh.
A relationship without labels.Without promises.Without permanence.
It fits.Or it would fit if it didn’t make my stomach twist with disappointment.
“But it wasn’t enough,” he adds quietly.
“For who?”I whisper.
He doesn’t answer.Which is anything but an answer.Did I want more?Did he?Is he disappointed that it couldn’t be?I have more questions now than before.
We turn off the highway onto a long gravel road lined with tall pines.The truck rumbles over the stones, vibrating through the seat and into my spine.Ahead, a cabin comes into view, wide porch, metal roof, tall windows, two motorcycles parked out front.
Ledger slows to a stop and kills the engine.For a second, he just sits there, hands on the wheel, jaw clenched.
“You okay?”I ask.
He nods once.“Just don’t know how this is gonna feel for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“This place was familiar to you before,” he almost whispers.“You were comfortable here.Not sure if it will be now.”
I don’t reply and he doesn’t elaborate.Will this place make the memories flood back?
He opens his door and comes around to mine.When he helps me down, his hands linger at my waist longer than strictly necessary.
A tremor shoots through me.He feels it.His eyes flash to mine.
Dangerous eye contact.Lingering touch.Electric air.
It feels like something I shouldn’t want, but do.And that is the hardest thing because I feel like I’m in a storm I don’t understand, but he’s this safe place to shelter.Except my mind won’t let me recall why he’s my comfort.
I want to remember.
I want to know how it changed between us.
Ally pulls in a moment later, rushing over with a bag of my things.
Before she can reach me, Ledger steps slightly between us, not blocking, just hovering protectively.
“Easy,” he warns.
