“How’s the lasagna?” Mom asks. Her gaze travels around the table, studying each of us one by one, her smile content. I can tell that having all of us eat dinner together means a lot to her. It’s something normal, something that real families do.
“It’s great, Mom,” I say, mirroring her warm expression. Even though wearen’ta real family, I like that she seems happy tonight, so I’m not going to ruin that. Besides, I’m happy today too. I’m taking Eden to the pier after this. “It tastes so great that…” I sit up and pull my plate toward me, forking a huge mouthful of what’s left, and I shove it into my mouth. As I do so, I spill half the lasagna on the table, but I just laugh and wipe my mouth as I swallow. “It tastes so great that now I’m totally full.”
“You’re in a good mood tonight, Tyler,” Dave comments. I fold my arms and rest them on the table as I look at him. Dave can be alright when he wants to be. I don’t hate the guy or anything. We have just never seemed to click, and it doesn’t help that I’m not searching for a new father figure either. Little does he know, however, that I am in a good mood because of his daughter. My eyes flick over to meet Eden’s, and it is so hard not to smirk at her. “I guess I am,” I say in reply to Dave. I can’t wait to hang out with her, so instead of dithering around at the table any longer, I clear my throat and get to my feet, carrying my plate over to the dishwasher. “I’m gonna head out,” I announce when I turn back around to the table. Jamie and Chase are still eating with their mouths open.
“Where?” Mom asks. She looks up at me as her smile falters. Instead, concern takes over her expression. “You’re grounded.”
“But I’m seeing Tiffani,” I lie. Even though I’m permanently grounded, Mom usually doesn’t mind me heading out if it’s to see my girlfriend. Even though she knows it’s meaningless, she still thinksmaintaining relationships with people is good for me—much better than cutting myself off from the world completely—but she has no idea how toxic this one is. “Didn’t you say you’re hanging out with Meghan, Eden?” Immediately, I fire Eden a look, one that tells her to say yes.
I’m pretty certain that out of the two of us, I am the better liar. “Yeah,” Eden says. She is still sitting at the table, and I catch her glancing at her dad.
“I can give you a ride there,” I tell her. I’m keeping my voice loud and clear to ensure that our parents hear us. They’ll think I’m with Tiffani and they’ll think Eden is with Meghan, and they will never know that, actually, we are going to be together. I suppose they wouldn’t bat an eyelid anyway. Maybe they would just think I’m being nice for once and showing my stepsister around town. As if. It’s way more than that.
“Thanks,” Eden says, and she is getting the hang of this now. She is trying to play along, but the goofy smile on her face would be enough to raise suspicion. Suddenly, she seems way too happy to receive a ride from me. However, I don’t think our parents are even paying attention, which is good, because I am smiling back at her.
“Ten minutes?”
“Ten minutes is fine,” she says.
“I’ll just meet you at the car,” I say, and like a complete douche bag, Iwinkat her. It’s gross, but I can’t help it. I leave the kitchen and head upstairs to my room, rubbing at the back of my neck as the nerves roll in.Are you really taking Eden on a date? No, I’m not.You can’t take your stepsister on a date. We’re just…hanging out.
But you also don’t kiss her either.
I should have told Eden twenty minutes, because ten is nowhere near enough. I’m in my bathroom, freshening up and spraying morecologne than usual and playing with my hair for too long. I even throw some gel into it before I raid my closet. I pull on a blue flannel shirt on top of the white T-shirt I’m wearing, and then a red one, and then the blue again. I settle on the red, but I am fumbling around with the buttons on my shirt, deciding whether or not I am closing the shirt or leaving it open, and I end up just telling myself tochill the fuck out. I leave the shirt open, grab my wallet and my keys, then head downstairs again and make my way outside to my car. I’m so busy overthinking all of this that I forget to say goodbye to Mom.
I sit in the car for a few minutes while I wait for Eden, but with every second that passes, the more anxious I get. I know Eden and I shouldn’t be doing this. Tiffani would kill me if she knew I was blowing her off tonight to hang with another girl, and although I still don’t really knowwhyexactly I’m doing this, I know that I’m not doing it to hurt her. I just need to know, I guess. I have kissed other girls before, but that’s all it ever was. With Eden…I don’t want to just forget about it and move on, but do I even want anything more than that?
As I slip on my sunglasses and look over at the house, I spot Dave peering outside from the living room window. The front door opens and Eden emerges, running across the lawn toward me, and I roll down the passenger window as she nears. I lean forward to look up at her as I joke, “I’d open the door for you, but I think your dad would have something to say about it.”
Eden casts a glance over her shoulder at the house. She spots Dave too, and she throws her hand up into the air and waves across the lawn at him. Quickly, he disappears from the window after having been caught, and Eden pulls open the car door and joins me inside. “Yeah. I think he’d wonder where your new manners suddenly came from,” she says with a grin.
“Hey!” Defensively, I throw my hands up while she rolls up the window and pulls on her seatbelt. She angles her body to face me, and when her eyes meet mine, all of my nerves disappear entirely. “I’ll have you know I’m a true gentleman.”
She arches a brow at me. “Really?”
“Really,” I say. I look away from her as I switch on the engine and turn up the AC, then I pull down my sun visor and take off my shades so that I can see her without the sepia filter. My gaze shifts back to hers and I crack a smile. “Alright, I’m not,” I admit. I’m a jerk most of the time. Never a gentleman. “I’ve just heard that that’s what you’re supposed to do. Always get out of the car and open the door. Right?”
“Something like that,” she says quietly, but she is looking at my mouth.
And I would kiss her right there if I could, but I have to refrain myself. I shake my head and turn my attention to the road, slamming my foot to the floor out of habit and feeling the growl of my engine as we head off. It’s a nice drive down to the beach, mostly because it’s a perfectly average summer evening here in Santa Monica, with the sky becoming a golden haze as the evening sets in. I roll down the windows, letting the breeze hit our faces, and I even turn up the radio. Usually, I hate mainstream pop, but tonight, I nod my head in sync with the music.
“Why did you lie to your mom?” Eden asks. “Why didn’t you just say we’re going to the pier?”
Oh, she’s so innocent. “C’mon, Eden, keep up,” I say with a laugh. “We don’t want them to get suspicious.”
She chews at her lower lip, not quite smiling at me anymore. “What about Tiffani?”
“I’ve got it covered,” I reassure her, though I have to look away again, staring ahead at the traffic waiting to enter the pier. “She thinks I’mhanging out with the guys.” My tone is such a monotone as I say this, but I just can’t think about Tiffani right now. Not when she’s blackmailing me, not when I’m going behind her back. I swallow the lump in my throat.
The pier is packed, but it always is, so once we are finally parked and heading down the boardwalk, we have to weave our way around the crowds. Eden sticks close by my side and her arm brushes against mine, and for a second, I almost slip my hand into hers like I would if it were Tiffani by my side instead. It’s a habit, and tonight I make sure to break it. Icannotslip up and touch her tonight, at least not while we’re down here on the pier, so open and so public, practically begging to bump into someone I know.
“Alright,” I say, clearing my throat. I raise my voice and pull off the most official tone I can as I nod down to the amusement park. “So this is Pacific Park. And I am going to show you Pacific Park because I used to love this place when I was a kid and I want to be the one to introduce you to it.” I still can’t believe she hasn’t come down here yet. Our pier is world famous and most definitely the city’s best feature.
Eden doesn’t say anything at first, only tilts her head up at me and smiles warmly as we walk, almost like she is waiting for me to say something more. After a minute, she asks, “Why is the roller coaster yellow?”
I look down at her. She is several inches shorter than me, and as we walk side by side, she is eye level with my shoulder. I shrug at her. “Honestly? No idea.”
She asks me more questions that I don’t know the answers to. Silly questions, like whether or not the food from the food trucks is garbage, and why all the benches are positioned the way they are. I wonder if she’s spluttering out random, pointless questions because she’s nervous.
