“My stepsister,” I blurt out without hesitation this time. She really shouldn’t be meeting him, but I introduce them anyway. “Eden, this is Declan. She’s hanging with me for the night if that’s alright with you.”
“Woah.” Declan’s eyes go wide as he shoves a beer can into my hand. He’s sober, most likely so that he can keep an eye on everything going on around him to ensure there’s no trouble. “Dude, when the hell did ya get a stepsister?”
“Last week, bro,” I say as casually as I can. Before he can ask me anything more on this new piece of information, I quickly turn to Eden and flash her a smile. I’m hoping she hasn’t realized what kind of party she’s at yet. “What do you want?”
“Anything,” she says. She scans the table that is overflowing with everything from beer to vodka to rum to fucking absinthe. Who the hell broughtthat? “Actually,” she says, “I’ll just take another Coke and vodka.”
Easy. I fetch a cup and mix up the drink for her, pouring the Coke in first so that she can’t tell how much vodka I’m adding in. I make this one much stronger than the one back at the house. She’ll need it if she’s to survive the night. “I’ll show her around,” I tell Declan as I pass Eden the drink and guide her back out into the hall, my hand on her shoulder. Quickly, I leave her there and turn back to Declan, grabbing his shirt and pulling him over to the corner. “Can I at least get a bump first before I start helping you out or not?” I hiss into his ear, keeping my voice low. Sure, I smoked last weekend, but I kind of need something stronger tonight. It’s been a while.
Declan gives me a nod. “Meet me outside when you’ve got a second.”
I sigh, already imagining the sweet, sweet relief, and I walk back over to Eden, who, of course, has been staring at me the entire time. There’s no way she could have heard though, so it’s cool. I guide her toward theliving room, ignoring the couple of people who say my name, and then I point my can of beer toward the group of people who are hanging out on the couches. “Alright, you see these people?” They’re all stoned as fuck, headbanging to the music or staring at the TV screen. I don’t really recognize anyone. A lot of the people here are in college.
“Yeah?” Eden’s eyebrows pinch together as she looks up at me, expecting more of an explanation. “They look bored.”
“They’re far from bored,” I mumble with a laugh that I just can’t fight. God, she still isn’t realizing where she is. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a cat trembling under the hall table with wide, cautious eyes. “Hey, check out this guy,” I tell Eden, pointing my beer at it too. It looks terrified, and it’s probably gone deaf from all this shit music. “Aw, man.” I place my beer on the table and then crouch down to the floor, gently scooping the animal up into my arms. It fidgets a little, and I ruffle its fur as I stand back up. “Why not date this little guy? It’s probably got bigger balls than Jake.”
“Put it down,” Eden orders. She doesn’t look impressed. She better not tell me she hates animals, because that…that would be unforgivable.
The cat settles down and begins crawling over my chest, up my arms, and over my shoulders. “What can I say?” My lips form a smug smile as I scratch behind its ears, and I smolder my eyes at Eden from over the top of its head. “I’m a pussy magnet.”
Eden scrunches her face up at me in mock disgust and rolls her eyes as she turns away. I burst into laughter and set the cat back down on the ground, and as it catapults off down the hall, she remarks, “Look, even that cat has had enough of your bullshit.”
There’s Eden again. I grab my beer and take a sip, noticing the clock on the wall. I shouldn’t be in here laughing with Eden. I should be outside with Declan. “Go talk to some people,” I say, and there’s ademanding edge to my voice. I’m not smiling anymore. “I’m heading out back for a while.”
The smirk playing at Eden’s lips immediately disappears. “Are you kidding me?”
“Huh?” I sip at my beer again as I look straight into her eyes, wondering why she’s staring at me with such outrage and disbelief all of a sudden. What the hell did I do?
“Don’t act stupid,” she growls at me under her breath. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard her sound so aggressive, so threatening, and she steps right up against me and moves her mouth to my ear. She nearly spills her drink down my shirt. “I didn’t come with you to this bullshit party so that you could just leave me by myself while you stand around in the backyard smoking joints and making pretty little coke lines to snort,” she hisses.
“It’s none of your business,” I snap back at her. How dare she talk to me like that? No one has ever been so upfront and straightforward with me in such a confrontational tone before. Especially a damn stranger. I step back from her, creating distance. “Go make some friends and leave me to do whatever the hell I want.”
I’m not listening to this shit, so I turn around and storm down the hall toward the door to the backyard. Now I need that hit even more. I can feel Eden rushing after me, and she throws her body in between the door and me, physically blocking it. Is she serious? She’s really doing this right now?Eden, please don’t do this, I’m mentally begging her. She didn’t like it when she saw me angry the other day, so she definitely does not want to see me furious. She is going to make me uncontrollable if she doesn’t quit this.
“You’re not going out there,” she states, her breathing heavy, her eyes frantically searching my expression. “It’s so stupid.”
I slam my can of beer into the wall behind her and it splits open, crushing beneath my hand as the beer spills to the floor. My eyes are fierce as I lock them on hers. She has no right to challenge me. She doesn’t evenknowme. “Get out of my fucking way,” I hiss slowly, spitting my words.
“No!”
I grasp her wrist, pulling her toward me, eradicating the few inches that separated us. She needs to stop. I am glaring down at her with the most threatening of looks that I can possibly pull off, but she only stares straight back at me. “Eden,” I whisper, fighting hard to keep my voice calm. “Don’t.”Please, Eden. Please don’t do this. Please don’t anger me.
“No.” She yanks her wrist free, and despite the flash of fear in her hazel eyes, she asks, “Why do you do it?” Her voice is laced with frustration, and I can hear the desperation behind each word.
“Because I need to, okay?” I yell at her. It’s the only answer I can give, and I quickly glance around us to make sure there’s no one listening. With the music so loud, our yelling is almost unnoticeable.
“You don’tneedto,” she says, lowering her voice. Her eyes soften with disappointment. “Youwantto.”
She’s never, ever going to fucking get it. No one is ever going to understand me. She thinks Iwantto throw my life away like this? She thinks Ienjoyhaving to resort to this shit? I don’t have a choice! It’s the only way I can keep my mind in check, to feel some damn peace in my life foronce.I take a deep breath and exhale, running a hand through my hair. “You don’t get it,” I whisper. I feel so weak all of a sudden that I can’t even speak. I feel so deflated, like all of my energy has just evaporated. For the first time, I think Eden may have just defeated me.
Numbly, I nudge her out of the way, staring into space as I swing open the door to the backyard. I slam it shut after me, leaving Edenbehind inside, and I throw my head back to the sky, my eyes squeezed shut, and I let out this weird, crazed sort of guttural groan.
When I tilt my head back down and open my eyes, I realize I’m not alone. Declan’s shoving a wad of cash into his pocket as he furrows his eyebrows at me. Liam’s slouched back in a deck chair, his feet up on the patio table with a joint between his lips, his bloodshot eyes fixated on me.
“What the fuck?” Kaleb says, cracking up with laughter.
“Hey, man,” I hear someone say from my left, and as I turn around, I catch sight of Warren approaching. In the space of a single second, I see him smirk, right before he slams his fist into the corner of my jaw.
