“At least that’s one thing we can agree on.” We both go quiet, and the only sound is my car engine rumbling and Eden sighing as she stares wistfully out of the window. “I don’t even know what his problem is,” she says after a while. “I get that you must be super annoying to live with, but it’s like he looks for reasons to yell at you.”
I drum my fingers against my steering wheel. “Tell me about it.”
“My mom’s better off without him,” she comments, but then her eyes go wide as she glances at me, panicking over her words. “Not that it’s unfortunate for your mom or anything like that,” she babbles too fast. “What about you? Where’s your dad?”
I slam on the brakes so hard that the car jerks to a complete stop in the road and our bodies fly forward against our seat belts. My eyes flash over to look at her in disbelief. “What the fuck?”
Eden stares at me, her eyes even wider and her face paling. For the very first time, I think she is actually scared of me. I don’t mean to yell at her, but fuck, man. What is she thinking asking me something like that? “Sorry—I—” she splutters, but her voice is nothing more than a small squeak.
I clench my teeth hard to stop myself from losing it with her. I’ve already lost it once today and I really don’t want to lose it again, but it’s so damn hard. The anger is building as Dad’s face creeps its way into my head, and the only way I can think of to release it is to step on the gas and floor it. The engine roars and the tires screech; it’s a satisfying feeling. “Don’t talk,” I spit, forcing the words out as calmly as I can through gritted teeth. Eden issolucky I’m keeping my temper in check. She hasn’t seen me angry yet, and believe me, she doesn’t want to.
“I didn’t mean to offend you—”
“Shut the hell up,” I demand harshly. Does she know? Does she fuckingknow? Did Dave tell her? No… He wouldn’t have. Dave is a jerk and I find him insufferable most of the time, but I do trust him enough not to share a secret that is only mine to tell. Mom has him well warned on that one, so no, Eden can’t possibly know. She was only asking a question, a question that is pretty normal to anyone else, but an agonizing question to me.
She doesn’t know, I tell myself over and over again.She didn’t ask to be cruel. She was only making conversation.
I can’t bring myself to speak for the rest of the journey; instead, I spend the entire time with my gaze fixated on the road while I keep on telling myself to just calm down. It was only an innocent question. I wish I didn’t snap over the mere mention of Dad, but I always do and I hate it. Now Eden can add anger issues to her never-ending list of my flaws.
Thankfully, she doesn’t attempt to make conversation again either, and honestly, I appreciate the silence while I get my head together. She stares out of the window the entire time, and I can only assume she’s thinking about how much of an asshole I am, because there’s nothing exciting about the freeway to distract her. It’s rush hour and it’s LA: We end up stuck on the I-10 in crawling bumper-to-bumper traffic. It’s way more unbearable than it usually is, but that’s only because I’m stuck in this confined space with Eden, feeling the tension. I play music in an attempt to cover it up, but it’s still impossible to ignore. The only time Idoactually speak again is an hour later when I let her know that we’re almost there.
I drive up the winding streets off North Beachwood Drive toward the Sunset Ranch, the Hollywood sign towering high in front of us,and I feel the final dregs of my anger subside when Eden leans forward to peer up through the windshield at it, fighting back a smile. I feel like shit for yelling at her now. A few minutes later, we finally reach the Sunset Ranch, and when I pull into the tiny parking area by the side of the road, I’m relieved to see that everyone else is already here. I see Dean and Jake grabbing bottles of water from the trunks of their cars, and then there are the girls—Tiffani, Rachael, and Meghan, flailing around and applying lip gloss. We’re an alright group, I guess. We’ve been friends for a long time, and even though both Rachael and Jake hate me, we all tolerate one another.
I park, cut my engine, and glance at Eden. I’m considering apologizing to her for snapping at her the way I did an hour ago, but she already has her back to me as she gets out of my car. A sigh escapes my lips and I follow suit, stepping out the car just as Meghan comes over and asks, “You took the freeway, didn’t you?”
Tiffani follows after her, her grin widening when my eyes meet hers, and she immediately throws her skinny arms around my neck and hugs me tight. Even though she is clinging to me, I still manage to quickly tell Meghan, “Yeah, did you guys go through Beverly Hills?” Tiffani’s body is pressing against mine and she moves her hands to my face, cupping my jaw and guiding my lips to hers. I know it’s all just a show, but I kiss her anyway, only for a second. I free myself from her grasp, stepping away and placing at least a foot of distance between us, and then I notice Eden’s eyes on me. She’s most likely thinking about that phone call with Tiffani earlier, the one where I lied and didn’t saylove youback. And now here I am, kissing Tiffani like a damn hypocrite. I drop my eyes to the ground, kicking at the dirt.
“Easiest way to speed and not get caught,” Jake says, and I can’t even remember what I asked. “We didn’t want to keep you waiting for an hour.”
“It’s incredible,” Eden says quietly, her voice breathy and forever husky. I look up at her, and everyone else looks at her too. Her head is tilted back, her eyes squinting up through the evening sunlight to the sign. “Thanks for showing it to me.” God. We all laugh, and I really can’t fight it. She thinks this is it? She thinks we drove all the way here just to look up at the damn sign from the bottom? And she actually would have been grateful for that? Man, her innocence is cute.
“We haven’t shown you it yet,” Rachael tells her, and I can see the color rising in Eden’s cheeks. “We’re taking you all the way up.”
“Up?” Eden says. She furrows her eyebrows as she glances back up at the sign. Sure, it’s pretty high up there on top of Mount Lee, but it’s really not a bad hike.
“Yeah, up,” Dean confirms. “We better get moving if you want to see it before the sun goes down. And it’s hot. So here.” He passes out a bottle of water to her, and then bottles to Jake and Meghan.
“Who remembers the route?” Rachael asks. She comes to Tiffani and me, shoving a warm bottle of water into my hand.
“It’s not that damn hard, Rach. Sharp left and then right,” I remind her. I drop my hand to Tiffani’s waist, guiding her toward the Hollyridge Trail that starts just ahead. It’s been at least a year since all of us came up together, but the trails are simple and straightforward, so the route is impossible to forget.
Tiffani and I lead the way, but that’s nothing new. For as long as I can remember, we’ve always been the leaders of the group. Maybe because we both like to be intimidating. Maybe because we’re both good actors. Maybe because we care the most about what others think of us. I’m not too sure.
“Sooo,” Tiffani says, running her fingers down my arm and interlocking our hands. “Bet you’re happy to get out of the house, huh?”
“Sure am,” I murmur. If only she knew what I wasreallyup to today.I honestly think she would kill me if she found out, especially since I’ve already promised her Iwasn’tgoing to get involved with Declan Portwood. Yet that’s exactly what I’m doing. “How was the beach? Topped up that tan?”
“I don’t know,” she says, and as nonchalant as ever, she continues, “You’ll be able to tell me when I take my clothes off later.”
Well, damn. It didn’t take Tiffani long tonight to start with all her teasing. It only reminds me yet again that we are so, so wrong for each other. We have nothing to talk about besides sex, parties, and social status. After all these years, it just feels so repetitive and so boring. I glance sideways at her and she gives me the best innocent smile she can pull off, but it still comes across as a smirk. I don’t know what to say at this point apart from, “Alright. Sounds good.” She doesn’t look all that pleased with my weak reply.
As we keep on walking, heading up and up, I glance over my shoulder. Everyone has already fallen behind us, and the five of them are trailing by a short distance. I notice Eden at the back, talking with Rachael, listening closely. Dean’s laughing with Jake and Meghan about something, and honestly, I wish I wasn’t stuck up ahead at the front of the pack with only Tiffani as my companion.
We talk about the most mundane shit ever during the entire hike, and if I wasn’t walking up a damn mountain, I definitely would have fallen asleep by now. The conversation never used to be so lacking a few years ago when we first started dating, but over time, we have just gottensoused to each other. And when you are so used to someone you don’t even like all that much, you seriously lose the will to even try anymore. I put my hand on her shoulder occasionally to keep her happy, and she touches my bicep every so often. It’s all just so meaningless, but I never really expected there to be anything more, anyway. Iknew from the beginning that there were never going to be any true feelings between Tiffani and me, but sometimes I wish there had been.
I check over my shoulder again, and I don’t know why, but I clench my fist when I realize that Eden isn’t with Rachael anymore. No, she’s with fucking Jake. The two of them are way behind the rest of us, and seeing the two of them alone together makes me uncomfortable. I narrow my eyes at Jake, wondering what kind of crap he’s up to. Eden’s gaze catches mine and she notices me watching, and she just confidently glares straight back. Is she still mad at me for snapping at her in the car? Does she think she’s the one I’m glaring at?
“Oooh, I’ve never been so glad to see this damn fence in my life! Finally!” Tiffani says. She grabs my hand and yanks me along with her as she breaks into a jog around the bend toward the sign, and she calls over her shoulder, “Eden, come see this!”
