Page 16 of A Very Fake Play


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“That was Greek to me.”

“You can put me down now,” she says.

I don’t mind holding you in my arms.“Okay.” I drop her to her feet.

She adjusts her yellow sweatshirt. “Long story, but it’s that time of the month, and I needed to go to the bathroom to…”—her eyes lower to the floor—“that’s when my world unraveled.”

I tilt my head to the side. “I’m going to need more to go by.”

She leans into me. “I think I’m being watched and recorded.”

“Excuse me?”

She points to the item on the floor. “It’s more than an air freshener…”

I step on over, pick it up, and analyze it.

A spy cam.

I meet her gaze and nod.

She points to a bookshelf.

A second camera.

She heads toward the bathroom and waves me over.

I follow her, but freeze when I reach the threshold.

The space is so narrow, I have to duck and turn my body sideways to enter.

At my height and size, I’d injure myself living in this apartment.

A makeshift shower is sandwiched between the dollhouse sink and the toilet.

It’s just a showerhead inserted in a beigey-brown tile wall.

I don’t have words for this.

On a positive note, this is a self-clean bathroom. She just needs to turn on the water and rotate the showerhead to spray water everywhere.

Unbelievable.

Whoever designed this must’ve been drunk.

I squeeze into the bathroom and study the spy cam disguised as an air freshener. I step back out. “Grab your keys and let’s go outside.”

She nods.

I follow after her.

She closes the door behind her.

“How long have you lived here, Harley?”

She worries her lower lip and crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m not going to judge you,” I say. “Whatever you’re going through, I want to help.”