Outside, the wind picked up.James’ ears pricked despite himself, catching a hint of graininess as their windows rattled gently.Felt just like his bones, vibrating under muscle and skin, and like his ears, buzzing with what Cillian had just said.Outside, snow.Inside… something that could be much warmer.He licked his lips, unable to look away from Cillian, just as unable to find words.The right words, the ones that would fit and work and ease the way.
A jolt of music nearly made him -- and Cillian -- jump out of their socks.They turned as one to frown or stare at the window until the noise resolved itself into silver-sweet carols being sung with as much talent as enthusiasm.He couldn’t make out the words, but the joy in those voices lifted his heart out of the briar patch long enough to break free.
“Beautiful,” Cillian murmured, drifting toward the window as if to hear better.
James stopped him with a firm, affectionate hand to his shoulder.He stopped as if startled all over again, and maybe he was, but he turned to face James and there it was.The look on his face would have made James fall in love if he hadn’t already.
“You asked what next,” he murmured when Cillian didn’t say anything.He pulled gently, reeling Cillian in.Everyone needed a helping hand from time to time, especially when they were struggling, and what else were friends for?Even friends who were becoming more.“This is what’s next.No nerves.No interruptions.Nothing but us.Come here.”
“Well, aren’t you smooth,” Cillian said half under his breath, but let James pull him until they were chest to chest, James’ arms sliding easily around his back, and Cillian slipping his hands into James’ back pockets.He gave a little squeeze that made James flex and his eyebrows shoot up, and grinned at him, still a little shy but not ashamed, and far less on edge.“You have anamazingass,” he informed James.“Can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
James couldn’t help it.He cracked up, knocking his forehead against Cillian’s.Honestly, he meant to say something else, maybe whip out a little snarky banter of his own, but Cillian raised his head and fitted their mouths together and that was far better than batting words around.His hands slid through James’ short hair, while his own longer curls twined around James’ fingers.His mouth, warm and wet, moved against James’ in a kiss that wasn’t in a rush -- it definitely had somewhere to go, but on the last leg of its journey home and so, so happy to be there.
He couldn’t have said how long they clung together, breaking for air and coming back together, only that they were both out of breath and shivering from heat when he stopped long enough to gather enough thoughts, words, and wind to speak properly.He braced up Cillian, melted so sweetly against him, and couldn’t keep his own well-kissed lips from curving up into a broad smile.
“You look happy,” Cillian murmured.
“I might just be.”James brushed Cillian’s hair away from his face.“Want to know a secret?”
Cillian blinked, then nodded.“Hit me.”
“You and me?We’re a fine pair of idiots, you know that?”
There.
Cillian burst into quiet laughter.“You’re only just now figuring that out?I’ve known it for a while.”
“All those years,” James mused.“I always thought -- and then -- you had me shitting bricks for a minute there.”
Cillian wormed his arm free to reach up and flick James’ ear.“Well, good.Me too.”Cillian caught his lower lip briefly between his teeth, expression turning pensive.“Though I am sorry.For the time wasted, for the jumping in and out of reach.I was…” He trailed off.“I couldn’t bear the thought of losing even the dream, forever.”
James got it.As the carolers outside quieted, moving away, he pressed his lips to Cillian’s forehead.Wrapped an arm around Cillian’s shoulders as Cillian sighed, leaning into him.“What do we do next, then?”he asked against James’ chest.
“You don’t know?”
Cillian looked up.“I want to hear you say it.”He made a small face.“Think I need to hear you say it, just to be…”
James lifted his chin and kissed him again, grateful when Cillian melted into it.He’d never get tired of that.“What we do next is figure it out as we go.Dummy.”He pinched Cillian’s side, delighted at the man’s squawk, slap at his hip, and laugh.“Just try to get rid of me.I’m not going anywhere.Besides, it took us this long.I don’t want to waste any more time.”
“Then seal it with a kiss.”Cillian pointed upward.
At first, James didn’t get it.Then he followed the point, and snorted.“Where the hell did you get mistletoe?”
“Surprised at my resourcefulness?”
“Never.It’s just that I tried to find it on Instacart and Uber and didn’t see any.”
Now they were both chortling, holding on to each other to keep one another upright.“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Cillian told him archly.
“You stole it from the tree lot, didn’t you?”
“Me?”Cillian pressed a hand to his chest.“Never.”He relented.“Okay, fine.That one lady you were talking about stuffed it into my pocket while you were paying.I tacked it on the ceiling when your back was turned.Doesn’t matter.Point is, you and I are now -- quite coincidentally, I might add -- standing underneath it.I believe you’re contractually obligated to kiss me now.Or I can kiss you.Whichever you like.”
“All of the above, because if you can still talk that pretty you clearly haven’t been kissed hard enough tonight.”
A light sprang on in Cillian’s eyes, sparkling-bright around his dilated pupils.“Then kiss me quiet, already.”
That, James could do.Or die trying.Either sounded good to him.
