“You can pretend when there are other people around. Right now, I need you to pretend you have somewhere else to be and leave before I die of embarrassment.”
“Fine,” Becca says around a mouthful of oats and chocolate. “I guess I’m going to the gym and then to dinner with my parents. I will be back no earlier than seven thirty.”
She pops her head out the door to her room. “I also can’t work out for longer than an hour and will be stretching dinner with my parents to get to seven thirty, so let’s just call it what it is—I will be back at seven thirty.”
“Oh, I’m sure we don’t need two—” I start, before being cut off by Jaxon.
“That’ll be great,” he says with a smile. “Thanks again for letting us kick you out, Becca. Did you get those headphones I sent? I was assured they’re top of the line and should block out everything.”
I was surprised when I got a text from Jaxon telling me he was sending Becca headphones so I could feel more comfortable knowing my roommate couldn’t hear us. It was unexpectedly…considerate.
“They do seem really great,” Becca says, leaning on the doorframe like she’s settling in for a longer conversation about various models of headphones.
“Nope,” I say, shooing her into her room. “You might not be able to hear anything, but I would know you were here. It’s bad enough knowing Jaxon has to be here for this. Maybe next week—” I shake my head. “Maybe next month, you can be around. Until then, I’d work on filling your Thursday afternoons.”
“Go to his house,” Becca says from inside her room.
Jaxon looks pained at the idea. “No. Definitely no. We could hit up a hotel?”
“A HOTEL?!” Becca and I both yell.
“Are you kidding me? Do you know how quickly it would get around that we checked into thehotel?”
Jaxon raises his hands in submission. “I obviously didn’t think it through. Definitely not a hotel.”
Becca finally leaves, pulling the door to the house shut behind her. I race over to it, my bare feet slapping on the wood floors. I lock it, twisting it to double-check it really is inaccessible.
At the look on Jaxon’s face, I reply, “People just walk in here all the time. Usually either my mom or my sisters. Doyouwant them to hear anything that’s about to happen?”
“It’d help us sell the dating part of our deal.”
“I want them to think we’re dating, not that I’m jumping into bed with you.”
“Well, speaking of bed…should we talk about my plans for the afternoon?” Jaxon asks.
“You have plans?”
“Of course I have plans. I finished almost an entire song after we hung out on Tuesday. I can’t let you ditch me if I don’t hold up my end of the deal. So, I did my research.”
“Oh God,” I say, rubbing my fingertips in circles on the sides of my head.
Jaxon looks at me. “Have you not researched why a woman might not be able to orgasm?”
“Of course I have,” I say defensively. Okay, maybe not in the last ten years or so since I’ve accepted that I’m broken, but I did do some solid internet searching back then.
“Great. Then I’m sure you know it’s actually surprisingly common for women not to orgasm—”
“Oh really?” I cut in. “And how many women have you slept with who didn’t?”
“Well…” He scratches the back of his neck. “I mean, it wouldn’t be a big deal if they hadn’t.”
“Of course it would. You’d probably think something was wrong with her. Or”—I hold up my hand when he tries to cut me off—“you’d blame yourself and keep trying until you found something that worked, likely long past the point when you were both having fun. It’s not like I’ve been dating complete twat waffles this whole time. They tried. They researched. I researched. Finally, it was easy forbothof us if we just stopped trying to get me there.”
Jaxon’s mouth twitches to the side. “And…have you asked your doctor about it?”
“Yes,” I say, pulling my hand through my hair. “Everything is good to go physically. My body responds how it’s supposed to. I just…the best way I can describe it is that my body is unable to jump off the cliff. The climb is there. Everything that’s supposed to happen, happens…until it’s time to fall off the cliff. Then it just...stops.”
“Okay, well, I have a plan,” Jaxon says as he grabs my hand and pulls me into my room, grabbing a shopping bag off the floor by his feet.
