“I don’t know how she sleeps through this,” Kelsey says beside me, smiling as she adjusts the earpiece in her right ear.
I grin, eyes still fixed on Jaxon, standing center stage, lit up like something out of a dream. “Because she’s got Steele in her veins,” I say, chuckling at my own pun.
At the look on Kelsey’s face, I laugh harder.
“Don’t tell Carter that one,” Kelsey mutters, glancing over her shoulder to where her husband stands a few feet behind us, scanning the crowd from his position near the stage.
To our left, my mom laughs as she reaches to steady a wobbly toddler clambering up her leg. “I think their Harper genes might be just as resilient as the Reid genes.”
“You did have a five-hour standoff with Maya about brushing her teeth last week,” I say, reaching down to pull the tiny ponytail sticking straight up from the top of the little girl in question’s head.
“Hey,” Bryn interjects, shifting her baby to the other arm, “that’s on Mom. I never have problems getting Maya to brush her teeth. My kid is well-behaved.”
“She literally bit Jameson’s big toe this morning,” Kelsey says, a smug look on her face doing nothing to hide the fact that she’s glad she decided not to go the motherhood route.
“Because he said, and I quote, ‘Why does my toe look like a sausage?’”
My dad raises his beer in a salute. “That one’s on you, Jameo.”
Jameson just shrugs, grinning as he leans down to tickle his child—the one who is putting a valiant effort into staying awake until the end of the concert.
JT and Lila join us backstage just in time for the last chorus, hands clasped.
“I can’t believe you almost made us miss this,” Lila whispers.
JT kisses the top of her head. “I merely suggested it might make sense for me to not miss this weekend’s tournament after I won the last two. But heaven forbid I get between you and your crush on Jaxon Steele.”
“He never gets less dreamy,” Lila says, taunting her husband.
Mom glances at me. “That’s because he’s singing about Izzy and Gwen.”
Onstage, Jaxon finishes the song with his eyes on us—on me and our daughter—his voice quieting as the last words echo on the air.
My heart flutters as he taps his heart, his private sign just for me that he’s done since the first concert I attended as his girlfriend. Now he taps it once more for our child tucked tight against my heart.
***
That night, long after the stage lights faded and the last encore passed, we trade cheers for baby snores and slip into something far more familiar: sisterhood and wine. Lila, Kelsey, Bryn, Mom, and I are perched on the balcony overlooking the Tokyo Imperial Palace, nursing glasses of wine and our sore feet.
The men are inside, arguing about our tourist agenda for the next day. I don’t know why they even bother. Kelsey is going to tell us what to do, and we’re all going to do that. Even Maya, Gus,and Gwen will fall into line, getting their little toddler and baby attitudes in line rather than risk a glare from Aunt Kelsey.
“I think we should leave the kids at home next time,” Bryn suggests, a weary smile on her face. “Jameson’s parents offered to watch them, but I incorrectly thought we’d be fine since we fly to Jameson’s tournaments all the time. I did not account for the amount of time this flight took or the damage the time change would do to their sleep schedules.”
I shrug. “They’ll get it figured out.”
I’m not sure I’ve gotten this new version of me figured out yet—the one who is a mom, and a wife, and somehow still me. There are days when I feel like I’ve lost part of myself, and days when I realize how much I’ve grown. Maybe the truth is, I’m still figuring out how to be both.
Mom smiles. “We all figure it out. In our own ways.”
Kelsey nods, refilling her glass of wine. “There’s a kind of power in opening yourself up to be who you really are. All parts of you.”
“And to think I used to believe I had to pick—career or love,” Bryn says. “But look at me now. My life with Jameson is so much fuller than it ever was when I was just focused on my career—and I’m far more successful than I ever would’ve been if I hadn’t taken a chance on him.”
Lila laughs. “I think I might still be figuring it out. I thought all I wanted was a husband and a family, but…well, it looks like we might need a little help to make that dream come true. And I’m starting to be okay with that.”
“Oh, Lila,” my mom says. “I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s such a hard thing, especially when it’s something you’ve longed for. I’m—we’re—here for you if you ever need someone.”
Lila sniffles and wipes her eyes, and Bryn reaches out and gently squeezes her sister-in-law’s hand.
