“Explain it to me, then,” he says, not unkindly. “Because from where I’m sitting, it looks a lot like you two are dating. Seriously dating.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, hating how right he is. “That’s kind of the problem.”
Carter leans back, beer bottle resting on his thigh. “Go on.”
“It started as fake dating,” I say, knowing I shouldn’t confess this to him, but at the same time, knowing I need someone to talk to. Someone who knows Izzy better than I do. Even if it pains me to admit, I’m not the authority on all things Izzy anymore. “She wanted her family off her back about not having a date for Bryn’s wedding. And she somehow makes it so I can write music again. So we made a deal.”
Carter raises his brows. “So the kissing, the dating—that’s all just...pretend?”
I close my eyes. “That’s the part I didn’t plan for.”
“The part where you obviously have feelings for her?”
“Definitely didn’t plan for that. The romantic ones at least. I did—I do—want to be her friend.”
He nods, his gaze distant, before he turns toward me. “Izzy has never talked to me about you leaving in high school,” Carter says. “But Kelsey told me once that her family was really worried about her during her senior year and when she first started college. She bombed some college interview. She didn’t go to a single social event unless Bryn or Becca forced her. Wouldn’t even try to make friends with any of the people on her floor freshman year. Thought she must be a terrible friend if you could just leave without a word.”
The words land hard, even though I deserve them.
“I know I hurt her,” I say. “I thought leaving was the right thing back then. And it’s pretty hard to look at my life and say it wasn’t. But we weren’t dating then. It wasn’t…this serious.”
Carter lets out a breath. “You were kids.”
“We were best friends,” I whisper. “She was everything to me, but at the same time, that’s all it was: friends. I’ve never put words to it before, but now that I’ve been back, I’ve realized I was scared. Not scared of leaving—that part felt like breathing for the first time. But scared of what staying in touch would mean. Of being pulled back. Of hearing her voice and wanting to go home. I knew if I looked back, I might not keep moving forward. Music wasn’t just a dream; it was the only thing that felt likeme. And at eighteen? I didn't know how to carry both her friendship and my dream. I thought it had to be one or the other. And choosing music meant cutting everything else off, clean. Fifteen years later, I still don’t have a good excuse. But that’s the truth. I left because I wanted something more. I stayed gone because I didn’t know how to do anything else.”
“And now?”
I shake my head. “Now, it’s worse. Because she’s not just a girl I used to know. She’s a woman who rebuilt her whole life. She’s sharp and fierce and funny and so fucking capable. And she let me in again. Not just into her house but into herhead. Into her space.”
“And your heart’s acting like it has squatters’ rights?”
I chuckle. “Yeah.”
Carter studies me for a beat. “Does she know it’s not fake anymore?”
“No. Or maybe she does. But I’m not sure I should tell her. I don’t know how this works—how we work. And I don’t want to make her promises I can’t keep. Once this farm sells, I’m going to have to get back to the studio, and then it will be another tour. I have a team relying on me that I’ve let down for long enough.I can’t just take off a few months and come back to Wild Bluffs. I’ve got fans and tours and contracts to think about.”
Carter exhales hard. “Look, I’m not going to pretend to know what the right move is. But I’ll tell you this, I didn’t think I knew what the hell I was doing either when I started pursuing Kelsey. She had this whole wall built, and I had no business trying to climb it. I almost didn’t.”
He looks over at me, his voice quiet. “But if I’d waited until I knew exactly how it would all turn out, I would’ve lost her. She didn’t need me to be perfect, just someone who chose her and was willing to keep trying.”
“And if I’m not enough?”
“Then at least you’ll know you were brave enough to say what mattered. That you stopped hiding behind your fear.”
Inside, that old crack—right down the center of me—splinters deeper. It feels like it’s holding too much now.
My entire life is centered around my music. I don’t know how to make space for someone without losing the only thing that makes my life worthwhile.
“Are you in love with her?” Carter asks with a sympathetic grimace.
I drop my head back, staring at the two lone stars that are visible in the dusk sky. The words settle in the air between us, sparking with the kind of electricity that only comes when you’ve been avoiding the answer.
“Is it even called love when it’s so consuming that your life slowly recenters around someone who is unaware they’ve shifted your entire world?”
It’s the truth I’ve been orbiting for weeks. The one that burns hotter than the fire.
I’m falling in love with Izzy. It’s not a crush. Not nostalgia. It’s bone-deep. All-consuming. And if she doesn’t feel it too? I don’t know how to come back from that.
