I take in the hard lines of his face, the shadow of his dark stubble accentuating his strong chin. The way the very corners of his lips curl up, even when he’s not smiling. The two lines that run between hiseyebrows, the ones I always want to smooth out with my fingers, just to show him he doesn’t have to be worried about others all the time.
I open my mouth to take it back, to blame it on the sex-induced endorphins, and it’s almost as if I can see Carter start to build a wall between us. A wall intended to either keep me out or to keep in the hurt that’s currently playing across his features.
“No. No, thank you,” I say instead. “I meant it.”
He raises his eyebrow, clearly questioning if I’m being honest, and I can’t help but think about how truly unromantic this whole exchange is. I can’t ever let my sisters hear this story. Or JT. God forbid Sam hear it. He would haveso manythoughts on how fucked up I am as a person.
“To be fair, I don’t think I realized it until just now, but I do. I love you. And I totally understand if this is too soon. I’m not expecting you to say it back, I—”
Carter cuts me off by placing his mouth gently over mine.
“Of course I love you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you when we were in eighth grade and you always had blue rubber bands on your braces so they’d match your eyes. I thought I was in love with you when we were eighteen and you were so kind and yet so strong when standing up for my mom. And I know I love you now that I’ve gotten to know the real you—the one you keep hidden from everyone else but me.”
He kisses the tear that snuck out of my eye.
“There is no too soon for me. No amount of commitment is too far, and there is sure as hell no possible future that I don’t plan on having you in. You’re not in my future—youaremy future. If you’renot at the center of it, then it can’t be my future, because everything that I am—everything that I will be—revolves solely around you.”
“I… That’s…” I say, wiping the tears that are now flowing freely down my face. “That’s the most amazing… I…” I trail off, unable to express the depth of my love for him.
He kisses me gently.
“I love you,” I say after I pull away from the sweet kiss. “And you’re my future too.”
Chapter thirty-four
Carter
Onemoreday.
As much as I’ve enjoyed this whirlwind international tour, I need to get back to Wild Bluffs. I’ve connected with the nursing home in town, and even though I don’t think my mom or I am ready for that level of care yet, I feel like I need to be there in person so I can talk to potential caregivers and see the places where my mom might be stuck living for decades.
If I’m lucky.
I have meetings set up with two different women who might be able to stay with my mom while I’m working once she has to stop her shifts at the diner, but again, I can’t really move anything forward until I can meet with them.
I feel like everything with my mom is in a parallel universe. I know she’s going to need care, but she doesn’t need it today. I need to be prepared for it, but I can’tdoanything about it at this time. It’sfrustrating, and I feel overwhelmed by the need for action when there is nothing I can do.
I’m sitting at a small table in the lobby, writing down a to-do list, generally feeling overwhelmed. I’m also drinking my third coffee of the morning, which may be contributing to my anxiety levels, but I need the caffeine to get through this last day of the tour.
The team is on high alert after the location of our hotel went viral, and my eyes are locked on the line of people outside waiting to get in. The crowd is two people deep leading up to the entrance, where a doorman and one of our security guys are making everyone show either a room key or a confirmation number before they’re allowed inthe building.
I must be getting old because there’s a part of me that wants to go out there and yell at everyone to get off my grass, but I don’t think it’d have the desired effect.
I glance at my phone to check the time—almost ten now. With tonight’s show being the last one Jaxon has scheduled for the foreseeable future, the crowds are going to be extra chaotic. Kelsey and her team have already alerted me that six different big-name actors and actresses will be in attendance tonight, and her team is working on coordination plans as needed. I’m sure there will be more who decide to join last minute—especially with the ticket prices for this show reaching well over two grand.
Recognizing there’s nothing else I can do for my mom until I get back to Wild Bluffs, I head back to our hotel room. Kelsey is frantically typing on her laptop when I walk in, her fingers moving a million miles an hour as usual.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I run my hands through my hair, forcing myself to focus on the work that’s in my control, not the people hundreds of miles away in Colorado.
“I moved up our flight home tomorrow,” Kelsey says without looking up or pausing her typing. “Weston and Eddie will take care of packing everything up and will work with the logistics team to make sure all our equipment ends up in Wild Bluffs.”
“Thank you,” I say, breathing a sigh of relief. “You can stick around too if you need to.”
She stops typing, looking over her right shoulder just long enough to shoot me a “yeah, right” glare.
“What?” I ask. “What if Jaxon decides he needs to meet with you tomorrow to give you the long-term contract?”
“So you’ve finally accepted that I’ll be winning it?” Kelsey teases.
