“You didn’t need someone, why do I?”
“I had you.”
“Are you suggesting I knock up a girl?” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
“Is Kelsey an option?”
“Mom,” I say in my best stern-parent voice.
Like a child, my mother rolls her eyes at me. “No, I don’t want you to knock some girl up just to have a child to raise and keep you company. I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone to love you as much as I do.”
“You were happy without someone, why are you trying to say I need a wife?” I ask again.
“You don’t need a wife. I didn’t need a husband either.” She sighs. “But being by yourself, it can get lonely.”
“I’m sorry I left you,” I say, meaning it, even though I know I would’ve self-imploded if I hadn’t left this town after high school. But I know what she means. I’ve felt the loneliness of being an only child, of not having any close family or friends in town these past few years. I feel the weight of every decision I have to make for my mom. I might be in a town full of people who know me and love my mom, but I’ve never felt as alone as I do as an adult back in Wild Bluffs.
“I’m not,” she says. “I’m glad you left and found yourself outside of the shadow of my decisions.”
“Mom,” I say again, though softly this time.
“I would not change one thing about my life that brought you to me, even if it’s not the life you deserved. But I wish I would’ve worked a little harder to live, rather than just survive, the last fifteen years. And I don’t want you to look back fifteen years from now and think the same thing.”
“That’s a pretty low blow,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
“I’m not joking, Carter. Don’t miss out on living your life.”
“Okay, Mom. I’ll try. Though maybe not with Kelsey Harper.”
She raises her eyebrow. “And why not?”
“We’re just not right for each other.”
“Is that what you think or what she thinks?”
“Both.” Probably. I’ve never asked her about it due to my inability to speak actual words in her presence. The fact that I didn’t grow out of that particular trait while in the Army Rangers continues to shock and annoy me any time I’m in her vicinity. I can talk to anyone, though I’d prefer not to usually, but for some reason, Kelsey Harper has always made me question every thought I have.
I don’t know what to say, so I just don’t speak.
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
I simply grunt in response.
The rest of the evening goes by without getting too deep, and as the final episode ofTed Lassoseason two finishes, Mom turns off the TV before walking me to her front door. It’s only seven, but we tend to end our nights early, since Mom has to get up before the sun to make it to her shift at the diner.
“Don’t worry about me while you’re gone. I’ll be fine. I’ll stick to my routine, and I’ll reach out to Bill and Mildred if I need anything. You left me a huge sign on the fridge with the reminder of where you are and who to contact. Iwillbe fine.”
“I’m going to miss you,” I say, pulling her petite frame into my large one. I wrap her up tight, telling myself I’m doing the right thing.
As I walk in the dark to my pickup, the one withMitchell Securitysplashed across the side, I let myself give in to my mom’s suggestion, just one time, for one minute, and live out the fantasy I’ve had since I can remember. The one where my forever is with Kelsey.
But just as quickly, I pull myself away, knowing it’s a fantasy that will never happen. Because Kelsey Harper? She doesn’t end up with a guy like me, especially when we’re about to be competing for the same contract.
Chapter five
Kelsey
“Bryn,gositbyyour boyfriend,” I say, shooing her out of the seat on my dad’s right. “I’m left-handed. I’ll bump elbows with everyone else if I don’t sit there.”
